Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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August 27, 2008

Social Networking: 10 Reasons Why Twitter Folks Unfriend You

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 11:26 am

relationships button

Hello friends, well people I know, I have something to tell you. We friended each other on a social site a few months ago. Last weekend, I might have unfriended you or unsubscribed to your list. I’ve been talking to people who’ve been doing the same thing.

The blogosphere has grown bigger and more social than most of us have time. It’s a fact. As much as we’d like to stay friends with everyone, we all have a threshold of noise. When waves of information and conversation pour over our threshold, we need to raise the wall and reasses where we’re spending our social time.

In my conversations with social networking people I find more like me than ones who are not. I’ve asked them what leads them to “unfriend,” or “unsubscribe.” It seems that we have the same reasons for quietly bowing out of your informational stream.

It’s time we let you know what they are.

10 Reasons Why We Unsubscribe or Unfriend You

We all approach to online conversations differently, and we all have different thresholds for noise. Unfriending people from your social stream can feel like breaking up. It’s good to keep in mind that a slew of variables can mitigate the choice of who stays on our “following” list.

This list couldn’t be all of the reasons someone might want to stop seeing you their stream. It’s only 10 reasons I’ve heard over and over again.

  1. I don’t know you. ahem. Maybe we met in passing and added each other. But we haven’t said a word since.

  2. You don’t @folks who tweet you. Your tweets are clever remarks @yourcircle of twitterbuds. Following you seems like being a fangirl.
  3. You talk @everyone about anything!! I’m jumping over you to see what other people are saying.

  4. You like to argue. I don’t.

  5. You talk about things I’m not interested in. We get along great, but the subjects you tweet aren’t my life’s passion.

  6. You tweet as if you don’t know people are listening, as if your life is a stage and your thoughts are high drama.

  7. You only plug your blog posts. That’s not conversation. That’s twitterfeed.

  8. You talk . . . ahem (whine) . . . about all of the work you have to do, but you twitter all day.

  9. I’m only hearing half of your conversations, because I don’t follow your 1000 other friends. .

  10. You constantly discuss your social media clients, but haven’t used the @ sign ever.

  11. You only talk about yourself. I’ve been gone for eleven months and you just noticed yesterday.

When the list we follow is small and focused the direction that we are, the conversation we attract is rich and compelling. It’s filled with opportunities for connection and collaboration. The more we know about who we follow and why we follow them, the more we can build a supportive network of friends and colleagues.

How do you decide who you’ll follow? Is it time to slim down your list?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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46 Comments to “Social Networking: 10 Reasons Why Twitter Folks Unfriend You”

  1. August 27th, 2008 at 11:57 am
    Joe Cascio said

    Love these reasons!! And I would add. “You have a habit multi-tweeting. That is, putting out 18 tweets in a row to say something that’s too long. Blog it instead!!”

  2. August 27th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
    Miz Liz said

    Hi Liz. Great post for a relative newbie to Twitter. When I joined, I joined with a purpose and goal in mind. And a promise to myself to only follow people who I thought might enrich the path to that purpose. I also promised that I would limit followers to a certain number; there’s no way that I can read through all the tweets. I’ve been intrigued about how folks have thousands of followers and are following thousands. This doesn’t seem realistic or productive to me. In the short time I’ve been a member of this community, I’ve learned a tremendous amount, have made some interesting contacts, and hopefully, have offered some value to others’ as well. But for me, the learning curve continues and I approach it like I approach other challenges in my life - I’ll probably stumble a few times. fall on my face occasionally, and in the end, either gain what I set out to achieve or try some other path.

    And to you personally, thanks for what you’ve offered thus far.

  3. August 27th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
    Jeremy (Discovering Dad) said

    Great post Liz, and good advice to heed. I think it’s hard for a lot of bloggers, including myself, not to want to overpromote themselves. I try hard to balance the Tweets about stuff I’m working on versus sharing interesting things with others. For me, Twitter is an excellent tool to communicate concisely with others, although it’s difficult to build relationships that way. As you said, though, it’s easy to lose relationships by not understanding what types of Tweets others find valuable.

  4. August 27th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
    Anita Bruzzese said

    Liz,
    I just twittered a question: Should you continue to follow someone when you hardly ever know what the heck they’re talking about?
    I’m sorry I didn’t see this post until after I posted (I’m having trouble STILL with the “older” feeds.)
    I am starting to “unfollow” people for exactly the reasons you mention.
    Thanks for a great post. You’ve made me even more sure of my decision.

  5. August 27th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
    Mother Earth said

    we all have a threshold of noise, nicely stated

  6. August 27th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
    Merredith said

    Excellent post, Liz. You put so concisely what has been hovering around in my brain for a while. Twitter, more than nearly any other SN, is proving to be a real trial and error learning experience; the learning is part of the fun, but posts like this can save a little of the error as well.

    Thanks again.

  7. August 27th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
    Jay Andrew Allen said

    Great points, Liz. Even if blogging is about building a career as a writer, it has to be (okay, it *should* be) about building relationships first, and getting ahead second. Otherwise you cease being a person, and become a marketing campaign.

  8. August 27th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
    Amy Derby said

    Good post for me to read, since I just started twittering last week. I am probably guilty of #3. On twitter and in real life. Everyone always tells me I should shut up once in a while. ;-)

  9. August 27th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
    Dorai Thodla said

    Here are a few more:
    At first it seems like common courtesy to follow you if you followed me. Then I notice that we don’t really have a connection.

    When I saw your profile, I thought I may learn a few things from you. I am not sure of that any more.

    You seem to twit to promote your business. I do it to share information. We are at different frequencies.

    —
    I think Twitter is still evolving. Most of use are still in a phase of exploration. Just like blogs in the beginning, you need to look at a lot to settle down with a few.

  10. August 27th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
    Jim Canterucci said

    Liz,

    Why do you start each tweet with Successful-Blog Social Networking? If you have something I want to retweet it makes it difficult. I know or can find out where you’re from. It’s all a balancing act of contributing and promoting our ideas. No big deal, but you seem to be the only one I follow that does this. Honestly, I’ve thought of no longer following because of it. It’s hard to get the gist when I have to step over the promo tag.

  11. August 27th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
    Zane Safrit said

    Good post.

    Here’s another story: why people don’t link back. You spend hours with others promoting their events. You spend hundreds of dollars promoting their events. And they can’t find the time to say thanks on their blog, much less encourage others.

  12. August 27th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
    DJ said

    Heh, thanks for putting into words what so many of us were thinking!

  13. August 27th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Joe!
    A multi-tweeter! I’ve not met one of them. Though I was once guilty of extreme twitter spam when I forgot to turn off my twitter feed during the 260 posts one minute apart. [blush]

  14. August 27th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hey MizLiz,
    I hear what you’re saying. Everyone’s new when they start. I’m finding that the small number I wanted to keep to isn’t necessary any longer, because I enjoy watching the new faces that come by in the conversation and so many more of them I happen to know.

    That doesn’t make me feel I need to be a part of their conversation or to listen, or even to turn Twitter on when I have work to do. :)

  15. August 27th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Jeremy,
    I see Twitter as a doorway. I try to open the door as often as I can to let people come through. Asking questions about their business is a good way to do that. Often then they return the favor and you get a chance to talk about you. :)

  16. August 27th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Mother Earth,
    You said that so simply. I smiled. :)

  17. August 27th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
    Kris @ Fresh Focus said

    Culling the herd, as my Mother says…..

  18. August 27th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Meredith,
    I think the best way to learn Twitter is one person at a time. Pick out someone who uses it well and see what he or she does. Then choose another. Everyone uses it in a slightly different way. Soon you’ll find the ways that work for you.

  19. August 27th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Jay,
    I think blogging is all about the people, too. I love the way that you say that it can easily become a marketing campaign instead. :)

  20. August 27th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Dorai,
    I’ve reached the same conclusions as you have. Some dear friends Twitter for different reasons. I still want to see them when we’re in the same town, but on my Twitter feed I know we’re both talking about ideas where we don’t connect. Sometimes I wonder if they’ve noticed that too.

  21. August 27th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Jim,
    Thanks for telling me. Part is my twitterfeed prompt and part is my publishing labeling. I like my readers to know what’s going to follow. I’ll remove one and move the other. What you say makes so much sense. . . . I appreciate your comment. :)

  22. August 27th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Zane,
    Great analogy! Thank you for all you’ve done for all of us. Most particularly for me and this blog.

  23. August 27th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi DJ!
    Thanks for taking time to say so. I’m never sure when a post like this is on the money or totally lame. :)

  24. August 27th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Kris!
    Your mother knew how to call them!

  25. August 27th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
    Ulla said

    Thanks Liz - I am still rather new to Twitter, and your article gave me some things to think about. Especially what you said about not only promoting one’s own blog post. I try to keep that in mind and act upon it.

  26. August 27th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
    Lindsay said

    I actually don’t mind the folks that plug their own posts a lot (i.e. Darren at Problogger), since I tend to follow people who I want to learn from (of course, if their blog is just about selling me something, forget it!).

    I’m lazy about paying attention to RSS feeds, so I’ve actually found myself more likely to visit new blog posts when they’re mentioned on Twitter.

    Of course, mentioning other people’s blog posts (other posts that can teach me something!) is appreciated too. :)

  27. August 27th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Ulla,
    It’s great to hear what folks have published. I love it when they mention that. But some folks only talk about such things and take up bandwidth only selling what they write. That’s the part that isn’t good.

    Talking about what you do is a natural part of a relationship. :)

  28. August 27th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Lindsay,
    I don’t mind either when folks let others know a new post is up . . . but when you look down some folks Twitter pages all you see is urls that link back to their own pages — that’s what I was talking about.

  29. August 27th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
    SpilltoJill said

    Nice post!
    I agree:) I unfollow when NOTHING relates to me….

    @spilltojill

  30. August 27th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
    Ed Borasky said

    Basically, whenever I get an email saying someone is following me, unless they’re a blatant spammer, I usually follow them back. But every so often, I go through the list and balance things out — I’ll unfollow people that aren’t following me, and I’ll block people that are following me that I don’t want to follow.

    And that block thing has been done to some pretty big names, which I won’t mention. When I go to someone’s home and they are following 1868 people, I think they’re just looking for people to reciprocate, thus giving them an audience. I block ‘em.

    And Liz, I’m still following you. :)

  31. August 28th, 2008 at 12:21 am
    Alex Williams said

    I find it most interesting to reply to others. It means I am writing about someone else. That always helps me be a bit more in getting a fuller understanding of people and the issues that are part of the conversation.

    And did I tell you Liz that you are one of the people I am thankful for meeting at Gnomedex? Great blog. Subscribed :-)

  32. August 28th, 2008 at 12:22 am
    Seamus Anthony said

    I am fairly new to Twitter. Frankly I have no need to connect with old friends via this service and I am finding it hard to connect with new people, which is specifically what I want to use it for. Sure, I want to encourage people back to my blog or to listen to my music, but I am also more than happy to connect with people via the service (new friends) just to shoot the breeze. Any advice on how to do this? BTW - my twitter username is SeamusAnthony if anyone wants to follow my pithy little twerps, I mean tweets!

  33. August 28th, 2008 at 2:34 am
    Cath Lawson said

    Hi Liz

    I’m still really trying to learn Twitter. And it gets confusing trying to see who’s saying what to who.

    I noticed some people arguing the other day and it actually went as far as name calling, which wasn’t good. I think they actually forget that other people could hear.

  34. August 28th, 2008 at 10:21 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi SpilltoJill,
    Yeah, me too. Seems a time waster to keep jumping over what doesn’t relate.

  35. August 28th, 2008 at 10:23 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Ed!
    Thanks for the follow. It goes both ways. I look for folks who have interesting things to say and leave a little extra room for folks from Chicago. :)

  36. August 28th, 2008 at 10:24 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Alex!
    I’m delighted to have met you too! The conversation gets so much richer when we’ve been in the same geographic location. :)

  37. August 28th, 2008 at 10:34 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    hi Seamus,
    For a long time I just read until someone’s comment moved me to answer. Then every answer got a little easier and I found myself asking questions. :)

  38. August 28th, 2008 at 10:37 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Cath,
    I try to be in only one Twitter conversation or talking about only one topic at a time, tuning the rest out while I’m there. It’s a lot easier.

  39. August 28th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
    Vicky H said

    Hi Liz and everyone else!

    I must say I am a lucky girl. I went to @SOBCon07 and met about 200 of the most fabulous people, including Liz herself.

    I luckily had all these friends to tweet with and I didn’t really have to start out not knowing anyone.

    I do agree with the list, especially when people never @anyoneparticular, or only tweet their business posts and it never becomes personal. For those who just tweet their post, remember we can always subscribe in RSS, we don’t follow u for your posts only.

    Great article Liz. Will retweet today because I think it will help new tweeps have a richer Twitter experience.

    I do watch how others tweet also. I still do this and it’s interesting, like people watching, but using social media.

  40. August 28th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
    Brent Leary said

    Now that’s what I call a great Dear @John letter! Can I add one? “It’s not @you, it’s @me!” :-)

  41. August 28th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
    Karen Swim said

    One of the things I love about social media is that we can learn from one another even when it’s an “ouch” moment. I am so guilty of #3 and now will be more conscious of it! I am like that in life, so interested in everyone but that can get annoying. I really appreciate this list! Thank you Liz.

  42. August 28th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
    Trisha said

    I unfollowed a bunch of people a while back when twirl kept pausing on me - I thought maybe following less people would help.

    Sometimes its just too over whelming and difficult to get anything done if you follow too many people too.

    But lately, I’ve found its best for me not to have twirl open when I need to concentrate or write.

    I’ve had a lot of people follow me lately who I haven’t followed back - too much to keep up with. But I figure if someone is following me and @’s me about something - then I will probably start following them too.

  43. August 28th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
    Tina Williams said

    Awesome post! The reasons were dead on. I think the point of 140 characters is defined as…less is more.

    @bestreflections

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