Life as a Contact Sport
On Wednesday, Raj discussed The Inner Game and the Five Ls. He explained how attitude and philosophy toward life, career, and ambition can lead a professional to focus and improve personally. He calls the topics for self-improvement the “Inner Game” and characterizes it with the Five Ls — Learn, Laugh, Look, Leave a Lasting Impression, and Love.
Today, Raj speaks to how positive interaction with others contributes to professional and personal success. In his book, Beyond Code: Learn to Distinguish Yourself in 9 Simple Steps! Raj calls that “The Outer Game.”
Some folks might argue that the Outer Game — Leverage, Likeability, Listen, Lead — can’t be learned, that what you’ll get is manipulation. How would you answer them?
Life is a contact sport and no man is an island. Outer Game covers those practices where there are some external dependencies. For example, you have to learn to be likeable by someone ELSE. Here is the basic premise for each chapter of the Outer Game.
Leverage: Time is a greatest equalizer. Try however hard, you can’t get anything more than 24 hours in a day. But each one of us extract different value out of those 24 hours. Successful people can get a lot out of their time becasue of the power of leverage. They configure “all” their resources in the most optimum fashion to get the best results. You can do it too.
Likeability: It is common knowledge that likeable people have a easier time getting their things done. It is also common (but not acknowledged much) knowledge that unlikeable people have a hard time getting things done. If that is the case, shouldn’t you be doing something proactively about your own likeability factor?
Listen: One of the common complaints is that people don’t listen well. Everyone knows that. I think the problem is bigger than that. People don’t know how to engage in conversations. I won’t go into all the details but the fundamental skill is to learn to ask good questions so that the other person says something interesting that you really want to listen.
Lead: We all know that leadership is not based on position. So why wait until a position is handed over to you to demonstrate your leadership skills?
Of course, all this can be learned just how we learned how to talk, walk and run. It is actually easier than all the things that I mentioned. What to watch out for is your intention in learning those skills. You don’t manipulate others without your knowledge. It is a designed and pre-determined act most of the time. So the skills themselves can be learned and once you learn these skills you will GAIN power and it is up to you to use the power wisely without hurting someone else.
I have also not heard anyone building a powerful identity with manipulation tactics. These are all short-term “solutions” that will hurt more than help in the long run.
To get to know Raj better visit his blog, Life Beyond Code, and come back on Wednesday to read: About the Book — How It Got Published. You can find Raj’s book, Beyond Code: Learn to Distinguish Yourself in 9 Simple Steps! in the sidebar.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Interview 11.1: Rajesh Setty — Raj’s Story
Interview 11.2: Raj Setty –The Need to Participate and Differentiate
Interview 11.3: Raj Setty –The Inner Game
about-the-book-how-it-got-published/”>Interview 11.5: Raj Setty — About the Book: How It Happened