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11.3: Rajesh Setty — The Inner Game

November 2, 2006 by Liz Leave a Comment

The Five Ls

Beyond Code

Yesterday, Raj discussed participation and differentiation. He explained that team loyalty and individual goals are not mutally exclusive. He pointed out that to be a strong team member, a person needs to be self-aware and to participate as an individual as well as a team player.

Today, Raj talks about how a professional looks inward to start with a solid foundation of personal skills. In his book, Beyond Code: Learn to Distinguish Yourself in 9 Simple Steps! Raj calls that the Inner Game.

Raj, in Beyond Code, you talk about the Inner Game — Learn, Laugh, Look, Leave a lasting Impression, Love — how might you mentor someone who takes life too seriously, who has too much negative “self talk” getting in the way?

In the “Inner Game” section of the book, I cover some topics or areas where a professional can focus and improve with limited external dependencies. There are five of them. Most of them are related to the person’s attitude and philosophy towards life, career and ambition.

Here is the basic premise of each of the five chapters:

Learn: Learning does not stop when you finish school. In fact, the real learning begins when you step into work. Why? The simple reason is that schools can never catch up with what is happening in real-life. By the time a curriculum for a topic is developed, life has moved on. I don’t undermine formal education but relying on it for long-term success can be dangerous. Now, the question is what to learn? Obviously things that are not taught in school.

Here are a few examples:

    a) building long-term relationships
    b) learning how to learn and
    c) learning to adapt to new conditions and situations

Laugh: Who would you like to spend some time with – a) one who takes him seriously or b) one who has the ability to laugh at himself or herself? The answer is pretty obvious. The ability to laugh at yourself and your mistakes is key to leading a stress-free life.

Look: When you just do what is asked of you, you are just getting by. If you want to get ahead, you have to look beyond what is required and requested of you. They say you have to walk the extra mile because there is less traffic there 🙂

Leave a lasting impression: Can you tell me the names of all your teachers from your kindergarten? Probably not. Well, you can name some of them – those are the ones that left a lasting impression on you – may be good, may be bad but they did leave a lasting impression on you. The same case applies in your case too. If I talk to the key people in each of the companies that you worked before – would they remember you? Did you leave a lasting impression there? If yes – what kind: good or bad? Leaving a lasting impression does not happen by accident. It takes effort.

Love: Whether you love you job or not, you will find evidence to support your decision. Because – there is enough stuff happening at work that can sway you one way or the other. It is up to you to decide. I think by “loving” your job, you can get a lot out of your job than not “loving” it.

Now, coming to negative “self talk” – I have not heard anyone getting any benefit from having negative self talk yet. Everyone of us are smart enough to know that it doesn’t help. So why do some people continue to have negative self-talk even after they know that it won’t help them? Simply because if they stop that, they have to take action and actually DO something. Negative self-talk is an easy and irresponsible way to screwing up your life. Think about it – it doesn’t cost much to have negative self-talk. You just keep going through the same stupid things over and over again for a long-time. How difficult is that?

Liz, I really don’t have much to say to those people who have too much negative self-talk. It is their choice. All they have to do is to see if this is helping them in anyway in their life. If not, they have a choice to change. If they still continue, GOD save them. They have to remember that they don’t get a second chance to live their life. You get to play your part only once. You can either make your life a masterpiece or screw it up.

To get to know Raj better visit his blog, Life Beyond Code, and come back on Monday to read about The Outer Game. You can find Raj’s book, Beyond Code: Learn to Distinguish Yourself in 9 Simple Steps! in the sidebar.

Thanks Raj!

–ME “Liz” Strauss

Related articles
Interview 11.1: Rajesh Setty — Raj’s Story
Interview 11.2: Raj Setty –The Need to Participate and Differentiate
Interview 11.4: Raj Setty –The Outer Game
about-the-book-how-it-got-published/”>Interview 11.5: Raj Setty — About the Book: How It Happened

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Filed Under: Business Book, Interviews, Motivation, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, Beyond-Code, differentiation, interpersonal-skills, interview, Rajesh-Setty, teamwork, the-inner-game

Comments

  1. Jake Danger says

    November 3, 2006 at 3:33 AM

    It took me decades to learn that you should love what you do, and the rest will take care of itself. Better put – do what you love. Take a chance, chuck it all, and go do what you love, even if you make less that way. In fact, the best way to make a lot of money is to be good at what you do, and the best way to be good at what you do is to love what you do…just my two cents’ worth…

    Reply
  2. ME Strauss says

    November 3, 2006 at 11:15 PM

    Hi Jake,
    I totally agree and it took me as long maybe longer to figure that out. It’s a whole lot easier to work if you love what you do and even easier to be spectacular!

    Christane Kane has a set of great lines in her song “Right Outta Nowhere.” Some choices tie you down. Some chances set you free.”

    Reply
  3. Carolyn Manning says

    November 7, 2006 at 8:37 AM

    Liz,

    “Negative self-talk is an easy and irresponsible way to screwing up your life.”

    I’m gonna come right out and say that I’m in a negative and depressed spot now and Raj, who seems to never have been there, simplifies things too much.

    There’s a deep pain associated with depressive thoughts; one who glibly says it’s an ‘irresponsible way to screwing up your life’ has an irresponsible outlook. It seems he finds fault with others’ problems.

    Walk in those shoes, Raj.

    Carolyn

    Reply
  4. Carolyn Manning says

    November 7, 2006 at 8:38 AM

    sorry, meant ‘these shoes’

    Reply
  5. ME Strauss says

    November 7, 2006 at 8:41 AM

    Carolyn,
    I respect your comment and the feelings behind. I’m glad you pointed that out.

    Reply
  6. Raj Setty says

    November 10, 2006 at 12:23 AM

    Hi Carolyn,

    I respect your opinion and understand your feelings. Here are my $.02 of course.

    I have been hurt and I have been let down and I have failed miserably many times. But even at those times, negative self-talk has not helped me except giving me some more leg room to not take any action.

    Of course, you are welcome to disagree and I will always respect that.

    Now, on your comment that I have an irresponsible outlook to life – I don’t have anything to say as you have a right to say whatever you want 🙂

    Best,
    Raj

    Reply
  7. Carolyn Manning says

    November 10, 2006 at 5:08 AM

    Raj,

    Let’s start at the end of your comment. I’ve already mentally flagellated myself for my knee jerk accusation. It was reactive, not responsive and, for that, I apologize. It did, however, put a mirror to my face; for that, I thank.

    My philosophy is more toward the positive then I let myself sound the other day.

    It will be an honor and a pleasure to get to know you better.

    Carolyn

    Reply
  8. Raj Setty says

    November 10, 2006 at 8:53 AM

    C’mon Carolyn. No need to apologize. Whatever you did, I have done that too. I once sent an email that I should not have and I realized it as soon as I hit the send button. But, I guess I was two seconds late 🙁

    I will send you a note offline later.

    Have a great weekend.

    Best,
    Raj

    Reply
  9. Jake Danger says

    November 10, 2006 at 11:57 AM

    Q: Why is it “a penny for your thoughts” but you gotta put in your “two cents worth”?

    Somebody’s makin’ a penny… 🙂

    Reply
  10. Raj Setty says

    November 10, 2006 at 12:07 PM

    Jake,

    That was cool insight. You should charge way more than $.02 for that one 🙂

    Best,
    Raj

    Reply
  11. Carolyn Manning says

    November 10, 2006 at 3:23 PM

    Raj,

    I’ll look for it. If it’s as inspiring as the rest of your words, I’ll cherish it.

    Carolyn

    Reply

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