Questions to Get Closer to You: Question 14

Comments

1. ME Liz Strauss says

   March 5, 2008 at 6:35 AM

   I’m going to assume that if I know I don’t agree that I’ve thought it through to make sure that I can’t find a part that fits for me.

   That being the case, the first thing I’d want to see myself do is say, “Thank you. i respect your thinking on this and appreciate your time.”

   Having said that, I would carefully try to explain why a solution that sometimes works for other folks doesn’t necessarily fit who I am and that I have to be true to my own destiny. I might even ask that person I respoect to listen in to my thoughts as a safety net, to find wholes in my plan.

   Reply

2. Robert Hruzek says

   March 5, 2008 at 7:46 AM

   Well Liz, since you’ve already taken most of my answer :-), then assuming I’m being a reasonable person that day, I’d probably say something like, “Tell me why you think that would work for me?”

   Then, if that person knows me well enough, their reasoning might just trigger something I hadn’t thought of. Whether it works for me or not, at least it helped me see beyond my own limited horizon. I think.

   Reply

3. ME Liz Strauss says

   March 5, 2008 at 8:12 AM

   Great question, Robert.
   What a way to get the respected from out of think of their own solution and framing it around who you are. If the person knows you at all it’s likely to do just as you say. 🙂

   Reply

4. Karin H. says

   March 5, 2008 at 9:58 AM

   Hi Liz – howdy Robert

   Tough one.
   My first thoughts were: then I haven’t explained the problem correctly to this person I highly respect and I’ll have to rephrase the problem.

   Then I thought: yes but what if I did explain the problem correctly and this person was just not listening properly? Or do I respect him/her for the wrong reasons? Meaning: from a distance or do I know him/her close-up enough to ask for solutions.
   Did I ask for advice in the first place or is it just offered ‘randomly’? Then I wouldn’t have a problem explaining that his/her solution doesn’t suit me or my situation and that perhaps he/she should need to know more about me and my situation first before offering ‘advice’.

   Like I said, tough one 😉

   Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)

   Reply

5. ME Liz Strauss says

   March 5, 2008 at 1:10 PM

   Hi Karin!
   It’s a point that we can respect people for many reasons, but that doesn’t mean that they can mentor us with advice on how we should be solving our problems. 🙂

   You always bring such wisdom to this comment box. Thank you! 🙂

   Reply

6. Kusani says

   March 6, 2008 at 9:52 AM

   Morning all!

   Hm. Assuming that I’ve adequately explained the issue, and that this person knows me and the area in question (business, blogging, etc) adequately… and assuming I do understand this person’s point…

   I’d thank them for their time and advice, and find a different plan.

   The trickiest part to this situation would be making sure that there’s clear communication between the two of us, and that I chose the right person to ask for help. But if the stage is well-set, and the advice doesn’t fit, well, no harm no foul! They gave me their best idea, and unless they’re willing to brainstorm other things with me or act as a sounding board for future plans, I’d simply thank them and try again.

   Then again, something I’ve noticed about myself – even if someone immensely qualified gives me advice, if I think I already know what I’m doing, I won’t listen to them. =) That kind of subconscious stubbornness can either lead to me totally ignoring their advice (or not asking for it in the first place) or drawing them into a two-way discussion about combining my ideas and theirs, rather than a one-way flow of recommendations. And, to be honest, a two-way discussion is more likely to hit home than a person handing me a set of instructions on how to solve my problem.

   After all, isn’t conversation what it’s all about? =)

   Reply