Successful Blog

Are You a Leader or a Pleaser? Take the Test

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Find Out Now

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When I work with folks who are finding their path, we often talk about famous leaders and what made them what they are.

Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Jesus, Mother Teresa . . . where they leaders or fools? Each did things that were praised as the ultimate sacrifice for the good of others, but were they leaders really or did they just give themselves away?

Ah, there’s the trick, figuring that part out.

I’ve known a few “victim types” in my time. They thought they were the next Mother Teresa or such, but it wasn’t who they were, I don’t think. Truth is I won’t ever know. The decision isn’t mine.

The reason I can’t determine the answer is because the actions look the same whether the person is a leader or a fool. The answer to question is fully inside the person’s own mind.

You can take the test for yourself. It’s easy. Pick the one that’s you.

  • Do you give others what they need, but give that same thing to yourself first? Then you’re dealing from strength. You’re a leader. You’ll have your proof in that it’s easy to say “no,” when you find that you can’t or shouldn’t give more than you have. You’ve got what you need.
  • Do you give others what they need in hopes they will give back to you? Then you’re dealing from weakness. You’re a pleaser. You’ll have your proof in that it’s almost impossible to say “no,” even when your whole being says that you should. You’re trying to get what you don’t give yourself.

Are you a leader or a pleaser? Only you know for sure. But I suggest you to for the first.

Give yourself what you need. It’s easier to say “no” to the folks who don’t deserve what you’ve got.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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No Matter How Much We Learn . . .

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We Stay the Same

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Last night, in answer to a challenge — one that I put to myself and one that came from a friend — I went back to work on an ebook that I started to put together way back when.

The reasons it never got finished are Internet typical — noise, clutter, other ideas, and being time poor got in the way. As I look back it was so close to finished, I also know that some of the reason it sat was a sheer sense of feeling overwhelmed by what I perceived that I didn’t know.

Last night, I tripped over this sentence in my biography written two years ago.

Liz is a writer, career coach, and strategic planner with a focus on blogging and strategic marketing.

It stopped me cold, because it’s the best description of exactly what I’m doing now. All of the fancy words on my business card, don’t say it nearly as well.

No matter how much we learn, we’re still best when we’re ourselves through and through. I’ll be finishing this ebook on how to write a Successful and Outstanding Blog.

The Internet can be a noisy room of messages that can make us constantly question what we’re supposed to do. Don’t be overwhelmed, stuck, or swayed in the wrong direction, find yourself, your passion, and be you.

If you need help with that, just ask.

Smiling on a Tuesday,
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Promise Yourself to Build Your Confidence

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Keep a Promise to Yourself

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The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. —Robert Frost

Do you keep your promises?

Kept promises inspire people to invest in us. When we keep promises, folks we work with are never left wondering. They’re sure that we’re solid, true, and worth betting on. They have confidence in us and in what we say.

A promise is a commitment. It’s my word. It’s my bond. I make good on my promises. Broken promises break relationships. Kept promises seal them.

What happens when I break a promise to myself?

Suppose I plan to get something done, then decide “Aw, that can wait.” What’s the impact? How do I respond when I don’t follow through? I’ve been watching, and it’s a bigger hit than I want to take.

When I back out of a plan with myself, it’s the same as breaking a promise with someone else. I know that I didn’t do what I said I would. I lose credibility — with myself. When I do what I plan, I feel credible, capable, and confident. I know I am who I say I am.

I’m making more promises to myself and keeping them. My confidence grows with each one. Other people have started to notice.

We build confidence by keeping promises.

What promise to yourself will you make and keep today?

-ME “Liz” Strauss
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Find the Extraordinary in You!

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Do the Work of a Master

Church in South America

In the early evening, the natural light is just so that a photograph taken by a master will be stunning in its beauty. Every photon and atom aligns to make what might have been lovely or dramatic become even more. It’s the power of talent, skill, energy, and a giving up of oneself to the work.

When we do something with whispering passion the universe responds.

We see it in the church that isn’t our own that makes us feel still, as if we know something holy. We hear it in the unfamiliar music that brings us home. We feel it in the fabric so well woven that it feels like a child’s face when she’s smiling. We smell it, taste it, days after a fine meal has been shared.

Human hearts, human thoughts, and human hands consume themselves to make something of integrity and love. If we start with the integrity and the love, the rest comes without a glance. It becomes just what we do. We breathe the difference into life.

It’s extraordinary — extraordinarily human.

When we hurt, when we laugh, when we win, lose, or learn something we never knew, we look for each other. We look for what only another person can add.

We change the world just by being. Imagine what happens when we do what we’re meant to do.

It’s not ordinary.

Nothing human is ordinary.

Find the extraordinary in you.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!! SOBCon08 is May 2,3,4 in Chicago. Register now!
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Reviewing the Internets in Our Heads

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Thinking about What We Think

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As I sat down at my computer, I looked over at a teacher’s guide for a writing program that I worked on a few years ago. It was open on my desk to page with of teaching tips. One section was called Using Internet Resources. In the introductory paragraph it said,

Explain to students that the Internet does not undergo the same kind of scrutiny and review process that books and professional publications do. Voyages in English, Grade 6, p. 147

That sentence got me thinking about how we think. The information highways of our brains process ideas, thoughts, and concepts at incredible speed. Those messages transmit efficiently, but our “scrutiny and review process” has only our own context and experience to determine whether the information is flawed or faulty, incomplete, biased, or inaccurate.

As a source, we can be woefully limited, inexperienced, or out of date.

How do I know what I think I know?
Am I doing this out of habit or is it what the situation requires?
How did I form my opinion about that person?
What makes me think that I’ll never be good at doing that?
Am I sure that what I know from the past is still true?

How do you review the information on the Internet in your head?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Give to Yourself First

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I've been thinking . . .

about what we give away. Most folks I know give away what they need most.

If we need to feel we belong, we give that feeling to everyone. If we respect, we’re respectful in every way. If we need a hug, that’s what we give.

Does that make us saints? . . . people pleasers? . . . victims?

The answer is in whether we give to ourselves.

When we give away what we need — that connection, that respect, that hug — to everyone, but ourselves we still need what we give. We give from weakness. We hope that someone will see and give back. Other people control whether our needs are met. We end up trying to please them. If they don’t, we can feel used.

If we give to ourselves first, we give from strength. That connection, that respect, that hug is given without needing a return gift. It’s easier to choose who deserves such gifts, because we’re giving without need. We’re stronger and more attractive.

Appreciation. Respect. Trust. Love.

Give them to yourself first.

The world needs us to do that.

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