Do you know the way that we sometimes have conversations in our heads with the people we care about? I’ve been having one with you, who read this blog, for over two months now. It’s a conversation about who we are, who we’ve been, and how much I value you, despite how it might have looked.
Would you listen for a minute while share what that conversation has been about? It’s an apology. It’s also a story. It’s about relationships, responsibilities, and risks.
Here’s what I’d be saying if we sat down across a kitchen table tonight.
I feel badly about how the SOBCon conference took over my blog, and you deserve an explanation about why that happened. Why do I think that? Because it’s not authentically me to choose anything over my readers. But I did.
I wasn’t practicing what I believed . . . wasn’t being true to our relationship. I’m sorry.
I know you see the responsibilities that came with the conference.
I know you see the risks to our friends, the folks who helped make it happen.
I know you see that I had the blog that could make the loudest noise about this first conference.
I chose to put it to work in the hope that conference would make a difference in people’s lives.
I chose to put it to work because five regular people invested their own money to make it happen.
But I didn’t see. I didn’t realize a few things would occur when I did that.
I woke up to find out that I was giving my readers less content, less attention, less of myself. . . . not fair — kind of like shortchanging your family to do a good job at work. Sometimes it has to happen, but it’s never right.
I woke up to find I hadn’t thought about the people who wouldn’t be able to come. That’s the part I am sorriest about. Never in the world would I want someone to feel left out. That breaks my heart. I’m much better than that. I could have found a way to make everyone feel included.
My head and my heart both wanted you to know. As I’ve said, I’ve been having this conversation with you in my head for over two months. I just didn’t know how to fix the situation and needed the train to stop so that I could say what needed saying.
I sincerely hope that you’ve been waiting for this apology, because anything else would be less.
I am sorry for any moment that you might think you weren’t valued. It’s just not true.
