I’ve been thinking how, at one time in my life, the ones who saw the worst of me were people I was closest to. It’s like the song.
You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn’t hurt at all. You always break the kindest heart, with a hasty word you can’t recall.
.
I’m listening to Willie Nelson sing it now. (Moonlight Becomes You)
I was young. I let my guard down with them. It was a sign of trust that I let them see my bad side. Gosh. don’t you bet they were thrilled I would do that for them?
I’m a slow learner sometimes.
Imagine if everyone dumped their bad feelings on loved ones in the name of trust.
I’m not quite sure what woke me up. When my brain and my heart finally reattached, my thinking kicked in. I realized that I was treating people I hardly knew far better than the ones that I loved. I was a success at working for a living, but not such a success at having a life.
2 Rules and a Bunch of Ideas
So I made this list that I check every Friday. It’s not written stone — more like it’s etched in ice. But it does remind me what to think about when Friday rolls around. It’s two rules and a bunch of ideas to focus on so that I leave work behind.
Two Rules
- RULE 1: Weekends are recreational or recuperative.
- RULE 2: Except in rare emergencies, all work is “want to,” not “have-to” stuff.
A Bunch of Ideas
- Plan an activity with someone I love just because we want to do it.
- Spend time listening to someone special.
- Do something spontaneous with a friend.
- Make someone laugh.
- Call someone I haven’t talked to in years.
- Learn something new with a friend or a loved one.
- Read a book.
- Take two naps.
- Make cookies. Find lots of folks to share them with.
- Do something I’ve never done before.
- Do something I’ve not done in years.
- Do something that someone else decides is important.
- Try on some gratitude and generosity
.
Of course, your list might look totally different from mine . . . .
Now I let my closest people see the best of me. I like me a lot better this way. As it turns out, they seem a whole lot nicer too.
You never said whether you still let your loved ones see the bad side of you. Personally I think it’s normal. You shouldn’t have to pretend nothings wrong or everything is great with someone you love.
My wife made oatmeal raisin cookies last weekend. The first time in a long time. Have you been talking to her?
Ah Roy,
I don’t think we can be ourselves and not have our bad moments, or days, but I don’t think we have to bless our best friends with them either. 🙂 I think we can make time to show them more or our good sides than we might. . .. I told your wife I wouldn’t say anything about the cookies. 🙂
This is a great list, Liz.
For a while now I’ve only been anticipating weekends because I didn’t have to be at the office.
But I forgot to have any fun (besides catching up on sleep).
Now I have some ideas for this weekend. Thanks!
BTW, I made oatmeal raisin cookies yesterday. There must be a cookie-love virus going around!
Hey Sabine!
I suffer from the “weekends are for sleeping” syndrome. That’s why I made the list. 🙂
I’ve been sending cookie thoughts out into the blogosphere for days now. I’ve been craving cookies. I’m glad someone has finally picked up the signal. I was beginning to feel ignored.
Liz~
LOVE this list!
Aren’t weekends the BEST? I’m babysitting my niece all weekend…maybe we’ll make some cookies too…mmm…yep, that’s on my list for sure.
Thanks for the reminder about weekends being rec and recoup time. That’s how we stay healthy and SANE!!
Yours in cookie creation,
Kammie K.
Hi Kammie,
It’s starting to look like I’m significantly adding to the cookie list of the weekend. That’s a nice feeling. 🙂
I love this. (And I also know that the “ugly” side of us does come out around those who know us the best. Hopefully they grow with us, and we with them, and it becomes a deeper bond in the long term.)
As far as weekend time goes, I actually can catch myself “leaving the room” by obsessing about something else I should be doing. And then, I gently just steer myself back and really look at and actively listen to my husband, or really BE in my house and take it all in, or hold my kitty cat and revel in that deep purr thing they do so well.
Happy weekending. Bring me some cookies! (no raisins though. they might make me get ugly!) =]
Hey Christine!
What a great way to put it — growing together to a deeper bond. It is the challenges that prove our love. I just don’t want to be too challenging and not as nice as I am to other people. You know what I’m saying . . .
It takes real practice these days to have a weekend, doesn’t it? It’s so easy to just keep on working. We have our machines that so easily follow us home. We forget to breathe, hug our those we care about and eat cookies.
Some cookies, please, for Christine. Hold the raisins!
Hi Liz!
I’m not used to the efficiency of trackbacks. I’ll make my comment first next time.
I love your I’ve been thinking posts. They always get me going.