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Before You Ask for that Link, Know I’m a Relationship Blogger

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Blogging Is Relationships

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Let me introduce myself. My name is Liz. I’m delighted that you emailed me about a link from my blog! What a lovely compliment.

But I’m a little concerned too . . . You see, that was all that your email said, “Could we trade links?”

I need to confess something before we go further.

I’m the kind of blogger who wants a relationship not a one link stand.

Please understand I love to share links, but to give a link means to give my trust, my endorsement, and my belief that your blog will continue to make a relevant contribution to the blogosphere. How can I do that if I don’t even know you?

Do you about the SOB links or how they work?

Relationships, Relationships, Relationships

Links show relationships and relationships are what blogging’s about. Don’t take it from me. I’m just a blogger out here in Neverland, A-List bloggers Robert Scoble and Shel Israel bring that point out in their book, Naked Conversations. These quotes from prominent bloggers appear in the first 100 pages alone.

The most important aspect of the blog is that it is conversational . . . The more you talk with someone the better you understand who he or she is, and you are more prone to conduct transactions with people you know well enough to trust.

“It’s about community.” Lenn Pryor, Microsoft. ” . . . real conversation, not just drive-by stuff.

“Good bloggers are chatty and into relationships.” –Jonathan Schwartz, CEO Sun Microsystems.

— Robert Scobel and Shel Israel, Naked Conversations

They know more than I, but I know that much.

If You Ask for a Link

Because a link speaks of the blogger, most bloggers would like to know you and your blog before they trade links with you. I know I would and it seems that the guys I quoted would too. That’s where the word, relationship enters the picture. Here are a few things you might do to get that relationship started. Why not try these ways instead?

  • Get to know me and my blog.

    • Take some time to find out who I am, what I care about, and the link relationships I already have. Successful-Blog has a link program. There’s a page on how to link into the community. A little reconnaissance and you’ll get a good idea of where or whether your link is a good fit.

  • When you ask, be personal and interested.

    • Sounds obvious, but it doesn’t always happen that way. Talk to me, not to some sir or madam, and let me know how you see your link improving my readers’ experience. I want to feel like I was lucky to have met a clear thinker like you — someone who is worth getting to know better and for a long time. You’d do that to start any relationship . . . wouldn’t you?

Check me out. Who’s to say that my blog is the right kind of blog for you to be linking to?

Bloggings not about how many links we can collect. Links get old and break. Relationships grow over time. THAT’s how the A-listers got to be where they are.

I love new relationships.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

Related articles
Checklist for Linking to Quality Blogs
Link Love Raises Your Property Value
How to Find Homes for Your Links

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Comments

  1. I just can’t imagine asking someone to link to me. If I like a site and want to be involved, I comment on articles that mean something to me and make sure I tie a link to my blog onto my name. That way if people like or are interested in what I say or how I say it, they can come over and visit me based on my linked comment. And I don’t have to feel too bad about taking advantage of the blog because I’ve given something of value in exchange for the link.

    To me asking for a link on a blog roll would be like asking someone to name their child after me. It’s too intimate a question and sort of icky.

    Reply

  2. Good morning Liz — honestly, I came over specifically to thank you for the wonderful party and to say “Good Morning!” And then I forgot to say it in my enthusiasm over your post. I can’t even blame lack of coffee this morning.

    Hi!

    Reply

  3. I disagree katiebird. To me, a link is nothing more than a “thanks.”

    Let me explain, let’s say I was walking down the street and saw a person walking their dog. I came up to them and offered a title of an awesome book about dogs, that just happens to be written by me. They would say “thanks!” And I would say, “your welcome, if you enjoy it, please be sure to tell your friends about it”

    Just as if I were to ask someone to read my blog, and if they enjoyed it, please link to it so the joy can be spread.

    Another words, ME Strauss, please read my “book about dogs” (aka my blog) and if you like it…
    😉

    Reply

  4. Personally, I don’t believe in asking for links at all. If your content’s good and your fellow bloggers like it, they’ll naturally link to it. That’s what’s wrong with the blogosphere – so many people link to blogs they don’t read often, or even like.

    A GOOD link for me is one that isn’t expected to be reciprocated (though I often do).

    Reply

  5. So true. I even get ones from people, asking to exchange links, giving me maybe a one-line description of their site (not always accurate), but no LINK to their actual site!! Unbelievable that first of all, they don’t know me, second of all, at least let me see what your site is about, and third, do you really think I have time to e-mail you back and ask for more info??

    Anyway. Not to rant all over your post. All my blogrolly people are people that I’ve formed a relationship with and feel comfortable chatting with via e-mail or comments, etc. – my blogroll is too long already, I’m surely not adding someone I don’t know. I need to do more with links, altho I think I’ve done fairly well for not really doing any link exchanges or anything, 3 months and we are in the top 2000 at Technorati, fwiw.

    Speaking of links, we have the Carnival of the Vanities up at our place today if you want to link to us or just go over and check it out ;).

    Have a wonderful morning, I’m enjoying my coffee over here and I’ll send you some if you like. Sorry that I missed your party AGAIN, this carnival thing and some business issues kept me working until 2am last night, agh.

    Reply

  6. Jason, I think if you came up to offer me a book while I was walking my dog, I think I’d thank you politely and refuse it. There wouldn’t be anything personal about it, just that with my hands full and all, I wouldn’t want the hassle.

    But, if you left a copy on the bus and I read a chapter before I got off, I might go by a copy later. And if I liked it I’d recommend it to my friends.

    Yvonne, I like what you say about a good link not having to be reciprocated.

    Reply

  7. katie, I love that analogy! I completely agree that it’s better to let people find your site and link to it, instead of forcing it into their faces when they’re least likely to accept your request.

    Reply

  9. Yvonne,
    I agree 100% that if your content is good people will naturally link to it, but, the title of this post is “How to Ask for a Link and Stand a Chance of Getting One,” not “Is it ok to ask for links.”

    So, what made all of you so contrasted to the idea of sharing content and asking for a little audience boosting help. I’m a little ignorant to the amount of “link-asking” spam, being a fairly new blogger so I’m just curious? Maybe there’s alot of crap coming into your email boxes?

    Reply

  10. 🙂 — Jason I saw that just as I hit post, but sadly the offer of the title is even less effective. There is almost no chance I would remember it by the time I got home. I might remember the conversation the next day, but even that would probably be lost in the vapers of my daydreams.

    I walk 3 to 4 miles (at least) everyday. And that time is precious to me. It’s the time I think about my next post or the one after that. Or I dream about my goals — it’s the time I plan my next step. My blog was born on a walk.

    And to pull all this back to requesting links: I expect that a cold-call link request to be just that effective. I think we all get way to much email that we HAVE to deal with. A message from a stranger requesting a link could too easily be blown-off until it was forgotten completely.

    As Liz says, it doesn’t hurt to ask. But, I don’t think it would help that much either. I think the ones who take you up on it would likely have so many other links in that blog roll yours would be insignificant.

    Jason, we just have a different view on this and I don’t think either of us will convince the other to change. I’m sorry.

    Reply

  11. Haha, I’m not trying to convince you, I was just curious. Perhaps the dog walking analogy was wrong….how about on a plane, or, at a party? 😉

    Maybe a stranger requesting a link could be blown off but if it links to a site with content that can’t…maybe that could be the start of a relationship, and therefore a future link.

    Also, I think I misunderstood the meaning of exchanging links, does that just mean putting each other on a blog roll, or does it include any link?

    Reply

  12. Hey Liz,
    Hey Guys,

    I have written many an E-mail asking if various Bloggers would mind if I put a their link on my Blog roll if I feel it would be helpful to my readers.

    I never asked for a recprical link, although I leave that option open if it would be beneficial to them.

    There is a link to my sites on every email I send, so, they get the link if they want to check out my blog.

    If they don’t respond, I won’t use the link.

    Just the way I do things.

    Reply

  13. Hi Joe, I’ve done that — sent a message asking if they’d mind if I add a link. I’ve never been asked not to and very often they recipricate. The ones that don’t are generally ones that don’t really have a blog roll.

    Jason, I didn’t mean to jump on you. I was really just thinking through what you were saying. And trying to clarify my own feelings.

    Reply

  14. I agree that asking for links can be a very tacky thinkg to do, if you are not already on a conversational level with the blogger.

    That said, I’ve been put in a new circumstance for me for the last few months of having to ask people to join our new TopList, BLOG VILLAGE. Of course, I started with the bloggers that I knew, and ones they suggested. But then the time came to start hunting on the traffic exchanges for likely candidates that I had never posted on before.

    After checking out the blog posts, to be sure the blog fit our criteria, I tried to write a comment on the current post that showed that I had actually read through several older posts as well. Then I made my invitation speech. We’ve grown to 167 blogs since the end of May, but a lot of the better blogs, that I wish would have joined, didn’t.

    I’m sure a lot of them dismissed my invitation as spam, because we did not have a previous relationship, the very point being made in this post.

    This blog is one of those blogs that ignored my invitation 😉 So, here goes with the invitation again, hoping this time it will be taken a little more seriously ….

    I’d like to invite you to join our family friendly BLOG VILLAGE TopList. We have over 160 members, and we’re striving for a diverse group of blogs. I think your blog would be a great addition.

    You can find out more about it at http://blogvillage.dirtybutter.com .

    Reply

  18. Hey, Katie, Good morning! and Good evening!
    I was gone all day at a seminar and will be again tomorrow. . . . but I might be able so sneak more time in to see you folks then.

    Looks like I started quite a conversation!

    I agree with every word you said.

    Reply

  20. Hey Mama!
    I’m right with you. I think that folks expect too much sometimes for too little.

    You, on the other hand, are a friend of this blog. You should have connected that link to the carnival. If I have a chance tonight I’m going to do that for you. 🙂

    Reply

  21. Yep, Yvonne,
    You’re darn right, if they write things worth linking to folks link to it. 🙂 I’m with you on that. The whole idea of asking strangers for links without even getting to know them isn’t very sweet.

    :p

    Reply

  22. Jason,
    To answer your question

    I’m a little ignorant to the amount of “link-asking” spam, being a fairly new blogger so I’m just curious? Maybe there’s alot of crap coming into your email boxes?
    I wouldn’t call it “crap.” I’d call it rude, arrogant, and naive and in many cases outright disrepectful.

    Reply

  23. Hi Joe,
    Thanks for the hello and your comment. Also thanks for keeping an eye on things while I was gone.

    Soe I wasn’t around. You’ve always handled everything like a gentelman around here.

    Reply

  24. Dirty Butter,
    My apologies twice — the first time because I didn’t respond to the Blog Village link request. I am there with my personal blog. I used that as an answer for both, I was wrong.

    I also apologize that Akismet ate your comment today and I didn’t find it until tonight. It has been reprimanded for its misbehavior.

    You’ve never been rude to me in any way and this post was not about your request. I hope you didn’t think it was. This post was about the new bloggers that more recently have been asking with more terse less cordial requests.

    Reply

  25. Hi Liz,

    What a timely post. Currently I have a few link request emails sitting around for few weeks now and yet to reply to them.

    They aren’t outrightly ‘rude’ but just very impersonal and that kinda tick me off a little. I wonder if they bother to think before sending out their requests. Most of them start with the word “Hi” despite the fact my name is seen in almost every posts and on the front page.

    I don’t respond very well with these sort of emails, usually disregard them. Am I being a bit picky and turn myself into some sort of an arrogant blogger? BTW, these requesters never commented on my blog before.

    Reply

  26. Renée,
    It is exactly what you describe that led me to write this post. It’s been happening to me just as you describe and making me feel just as you describe for a while now.

    It seems to be something a new wave of bloggers who have this habit. It only happened occasionally in the past. Now it’s almost every day and the tone is far worse than before.

    Feel free to send them a link to this post as a reply. That’s what I’m doing from now on. 🙂

    Reply

  27. I agree 100% that if your content is good people will naturally link to it, but, the title of this post is “How to Ask for a Link and Stand a Chance of Getting One,” not “Is it ok to ask for links.”

    Well, I thought it’d be good to factor in the possibility that asking for links in the first place isn’t a good idea …

    Thanks for agreeing Liz 😀

    Reply

  28. I agree! Though I am not a seasoned blogger (not yet anyway), I do agree that it’s not a “one link stand” … i also think that link swapping is a bit more serious.

    Btw, I find that analogy quite funny. Being a romantic at heart, it made me understand your point very clearly. Thanks.

    Reply

  29. HI Yvonne,
    I’m in the rare position that folks can write to propose I include them as SOBs, so I count that as asking for a link too. . . . You wouldn’t believe how rudely they can do that.

    Imagine. You’re trying to show me what a great blogger you are and you act really rude. 🙂

    Reply

  30. Hi Kharen,
    Sounds like you have a good idea of what blogging is all about. Good on you!

    I like a good analogy and I’ve found that when I’m a little miffed about something that’s when I get my best (and funniest) ones.

    I like that one too. I used it in an email to a blogger who had a lovely and funny reply to it.

    I like words that communicate.

    Reply

  31. Well, I’ve been lucky enough to get only a few link exchange requests, and they were all very polite when I turned them down.

    I guess with a blog like this, Liz, it’s inevitable you’ll attract those kinds of people. And good idea about sending ‘link requesters’ to this post – I’ll probably do that in the future too. 😉

    Reply

  33. Wow ME, this is quite a conversation here. You have been quite kind with all your link loving here, so why can’t someone ask for some love, if they ask nice enough. Your comments alone are enough for me to link back to you. “I don’t want to hear about any one link stands.” Priceless!

    Reply

  34. Hi Phil,
    I think you just hit the point. i’ve been more than generous, folks haven’t needed to ask. It seems some folks have decided that I’m not generous, I’m “easy” or I “owe” them — that’s the tone of their requests.

    When someone expects things, he or she takes away my ability to be generous. I’m not easy, nor do I owe anyone a link. Some folks actually wriite to say, “I’ve never read your blog.” What?

    I deserve plain, old ordinary decent human to human respect, as every blogger does, as I would give them.

    Thanks for your smiling comment. I agree about asking nicely, but I only give links to SOBs and that’s about relationships. . . not one link stands.

    I’m glad you like what I said. I’m a writer — that makes me smile. 🙂

    Reply

  37. Like what you said? Liz, I LOVE what you said, and agree 1 million percent. If you EXPECT link love, you get ZERO. If you ask nicely, you probably get a little. If you add value, or better yet, if you can help out in any small way, then you’ll probably get a LOT. But expecting link love? Heck no! It’s a gift, like a bonus at the end of the year. 🙂

    And you’re a darn good writer. Thanks for sharing all that you do here. I’ve never seen a blog with such great conversations in the comments. WOW!

    Reply

  38. Sorry to butt in, Liz. I can’t help laughing on this statement of yours “I’m not easy,”

    Girl, you go tell them this…”I’m blonde but I’m not dumb and easy. ‘One link stand’ won’t work for me.” 😉

    Reply

  43. Hard to believe you got about 40 comments and weren’t even a big part of the conversation until it was that far along.

    You have really talented readers !

    Reply

  44. but I only give links to SOBs and that’s about relationships. . .

    Liz, it took me about 5 minutes to figure that out the first time I came here. I mean, you’ve got your thoughtful links and your network and your SOBs — who can’t figure that out just from spending some time here?

    And shouldn’t a person spend that time on a site before asking for help?

    Reply

  47. I rarely get asked straight out for links and I would not give them. I don’t see giving links like swapping baseball cards. I use links to tell people who visit my blog that there is something interesting or valuable to find if they look somewhere other than my blog. To me, as I keep trying to say on my blog, the link is not the key element. neither is your rank. What’s inportant is that you have interesting conversations.

    Reply

  48. Ok — I’m late to the party (as always), but here’s a question I want to throw out.

    When a link is asked (and I’ve never been in the position where it has … so I throw this out to all the wiley vets out there), is it usually accompanied by a request for WHERE the link is placed?

    When you do accede a request, where DO you put it?

    Does it get front-page real estate? (blog roll)
    Does it get relegated to a link page?

    Here’s why:
    The person asking for the link is probably doing so with an aim to improve their own position in the search engines and /OR their own page rank.

    My understanding with this is that the quality of the inbound link matters.

    If that inbound link (what they’re requesting from you) is on a link page and its diluted with all sorts of other links, it really is no use to them.

    If that’s the case and most bloggers aren’t willing to give a link a spot in prime time real estate — is it worth even asking for a link?

    Cheers
    t @ dji

    Reply

  49. Hi Shel,
    Welcome.
    Thank you for your visit and for providing me with the words I needed to tell the folks who have no manners exactly what I wanted to say with a bigger megaphone.

    Your book and your comment here say it all. Blogging’s value is in the conversation and the relationships.

    Our saying here is “Half the show is in the comments.” Sometimes the comments carry as much or more relevant content. Say for example This particular post . . .

    Thank you for your visit. As with everyone else, you’re no longer a stranger now. You’re a friend.

    Reply

  50. Hi Tony,
    The folks who ask for links are just trying to collect links — period. My guess is that most of them haven’t even thought that far, and that most assume that they will end up on the front page in a blogroll, because that’s where they’ve seen most links go.

    If they had a sense of strategy, they would be far better at how they ask in the first place. At least that’s how it seems to me. . . . 🙂

    Good question though, Tony. And I wouldn’t consider yourself late. You came in right after Shel Israel. I would consider that quite an entrance. 🙂

    Reply

  51. I’ve so far never asked to be linked, but do appreciate any links to my blog, and I usually ask (not always mind you) if I could add you to my links sidebar.

    Reply

  52. TechZ — I think I’ve seen you somewhere before? 🙂

    I’m in your situation — I usually ask, but not always. And the one person who asked me, knows me and asked very, very nicely.

    Reply

  53. TechZ and Katiebird,
    You’re most gracious to ask folks if they mind being added to your blogroll. I doubt many if any say “no” to blogs as upstanding as both of yours. 🙂

    Reply

  54. Hi Liz,
    I don’t know if it’s graciousness exactly … although I mean the question sincerely. If they don’t want me to post the link, I won’t (and you’re right — no one has said, “no”).

    But the main reason is open communication. By posting a link to a site I’ve opened a line of communication. And I’m missing an opportunity if I don’t announce it to the people who would be interested.

    And while I’d never ask for a link in return, I’m happy if they add one out of the goodness of their own hearts!

    Reply

  55. Hi Katie,
    Sorry it took so long to get back, I’ve been working on a document due today. . .

    What a great way to open communication and start a relationship! I’ve done that once or twice, but not for a while. It’s a fabulous that you do that.

    Reply

  56. Thanks Liz for sparking such a great conversation! It seems to me that if we operate by the “it’s better to give than receive” motto when blogging (as well as the rest of life), we will do just fine. I suppose the “pay it forward” concept also applies. If we link to place we like AND deliver good content, then over time we will receive links. Those links don’t always come from the same places that we link to – and that’s ok.
    Stay positive,
    Kirsten

    Reply

  57. Hi Kirsten,
    Welcome. What a great interpretation of the entire situation. It sure is a great way to look on things.

    You’re right links don’t alway come from the place that we link to. In real life, friendships don’t often from from those we might wish we were friends with. That’s okay too. 🙂

    Reply

  60. Hey katiebird, yep you’ll see my name alot more from now on 😉
    After being SOB’d, I’ve found a whole world of interesting blogs to read via Liz’s great site.

    Infact, I’m going to add SOB to my links bar right now!

    Reply

  64. Right 😀

    I honestly don’t see how you find the time to read all our comments and give us such a well written reply, that’s what I call taking care of your blog.

    Reply

  65. Katiebird and Liz –
    Thanks for the nice words! I try to live by those concepts and that extends into the blogosphere.

    Liz – While I may be new to your blog, it is obvious (as Tech Z said) that you tend to this blog very well. What a great example for all of us!

    Reply

  66. Hi Kirsten,
    Thank you. If you read My Blogging Goal, up there on the left under Pages you’ll find out everything you need to know about me and this blog.

    You’ll also find out why I say to you now.
    Old or new to blogging, you’re not a stranger anymore. You’re a friend.

    Reply

  67. How about some honesty?

    The truth of the matter is that I link to blogs that are relavent to the readers that I am lucky to have visit and read my work. This post and its self-involved banter is not worth much. I link to many blogs that I have read, continue to read, and find worthy.

    Tina, your poetry on The Peace Tree was indication enough for me to want to add you to my blog, but that is no longer the case. See how that works? I was not looking for a lesson in Blogging, nor do I need one, but you, my friend, have just been given one in reverse etiquette. See how that works?

    I sent you this email-

    Liz,
    Hello. Found your site via The Peace Tree… Would you like to exchange links with A Poetic Justice (Don’t burn the flag. Wash it!) ?
    Thank you. You can be found on my Peace n Links sidebar.
    Peace,
    Mark (thepoetryman)

    To which you replied thus:

    Mark,
    Apparently you haven’t spent any time at my blog. If you had you might have come this post that I wrote in just the last week or so. I’d love to talk with you after you’ve read it and the 67 comments (more seem to get added each day) that follow it.
    https://www.successful-blog.com/1/how-to-ask-for-a-link-and-stand-a-chance-of-getting-one/
    See you then, I hope.
    Liz.

    Your post states this- When you talk to me, be personal and act nice to me.
    If you want my attention talk to me, not sir or madam, and let me know how you see your link improving my readers’ experience. I want to feel like I was lucky to have met a clear thinker like you–someone who is worth getting to know better and for a long time.

    You, my friend, need to get to know people. I am sorry that you see fit to include your work on The Peace Tree and then act as if someone owes you some sort of standard as you see it for “kindly asking for a link exchange”. Tripe. Pure and simple.

    I have many blogs linked on my own and visit them as often as possible. You, according to this exchange and your ego-filled softshoe plea for acceptance in the fast-paced free world of blogging have now been rejected based on what I know of you now. The poetry I read was not of the same spirit…how sad for me that I have not gained a friend, instead a small void exists for what might have been.

    Peace.

    And great luck with your “C’mon Let’s talk!”

    Mark (thepoetryman)

    Reply

  68. Mark,
    My apologies. You’re obviously not happy with me, but I think you should know that what you call “ego-filled softshoe plea for acceptance . . .” Is possibly something that is a misunderstanding.

    What prompted this post is a history of rude requests for links that I fear you got thrown with. If you read some of them, you would understand. At least I think that, as a poet and a human with sensibilities, you would.

    I apologize for thinking you might another of those. It was my mistake. I make them. I’m sorry.

    Sincerely,
    Liz

    Reply

  69. Liz,
    Thank you for the apology… I still have removed your blog from my site.

    Good luck with your endeavor… Learn to “speak” with less of a caustic tone in your everyday writing, apply your poetic touch, and perhaps you will not be so offensive or even defensive when you get what comes with the virtual territory. I receive comments on my site and emails about the site that are not flattering, but I do not jump to conclusions… With some of them it is rather easy to see their intentions, others, if they ask for a link exchange will always get a visit from me beforehand. Your site and post of that particular nature smack of hubris. If I were you I’d remove that post and its comments completely, for they have done nothing to further your cause, nor will it do any such thing. As a matter of fact, it reads as an advertisement for a How to Blog about Blogging…it is certainly not that.

    I will give you an example of what I mean by your tone- “If you read some of them, you would understand. At least I think that, as a poet and a human with sensibilities, you would.”

    You wrote this to me not ten minutes ago. Do you understand how this sounds? It’s a soft-shoe upon I my supposed sensibilities and an attempt to squeeze out the end-result you seek…

    Again… Peace and good luck.

    Mark (thepoetryman)

    Reply

  70. Mark,
    I appreciate your point of view, but here is the place where you and I must be different. I would never think to go into your comment box to lecture you on how to write.

    You say you do not jump to conclusions, but you have jumped to conclusions about both me and my writing.

    I thank you for your wish of peace and good luck.

    I wish you the same in all you do.
    Sincerely
    Liz

    Reply

  71. Liz, Speaking of links, I just realized that while I have the SOB link posted at my site (I’m a proud week 35 SOB for those who missed it) I never added you to my blogroll. That’s fixed. And you’re on.

    By the way, I keep my blogroll from getting totally out of control by displaying a random 15 from the list. I may have to rethink it sometime but, for now that seems to work.

    Reply

  72. Hi Katie,
    I like those rolling random links. They make visiting a blog and refreshing it fun! It’s silly, but it’s true. 🙂

    Thanks for telling me. You’re a great one.

    Reply

  74. You chose the path of resistance. You directed me to this post in your blog…I did not seek it out to debate the tactics on your site. If you choose to respond to me via your blog route instead of private email than you are giving me permission to respond in kind and disagree where I see fit. If you do not want a frank and honest assessment of your method then do not direct me toward your “other” blog for the one I emailed you about was not this one. This one smacks of you and not of my intentions. You wrote- “I would never think to go into your comment box to lecture you on how to write.” but yet you emailed me a response about my simple query that directed me toward a post that was full of rhetoric about something that bothers you, not me, so I took it personal. I was and did and will not lecture you on how to write. I didn’t and you know this. I responded in kind to your email which directed me here. don’t spin it to fit…let it fit. I do not wish any ill will toward you, but what bothered you about the “insensitive” link exchange question is no different than what bothered me about your tone and lecturing me about “if I had spent any time on your blog…” It bothered me because you assumed too much. Apology accepted and all that jazz. Yet still it is not out of spite or any trite reason that I do not retain your link on my blog… I follow my gut instincts and that is what it is telling me.

    Peace.

    Reply

  76. Mark,
    The original email was a misunderstanding. A request, I took to be for a link to this blog. I fully expected you to return to the email after reading.

    You did indeed tell me how to write. In the form of a lecture. You were the teacher. I was the student and I was was being told in no uncertain terms exactly what was wrong with my work. I been to your blog then and now and I would never do that.

    I believe a writer’s work is a writer’s work.

    I respect your right to link to whomever you choose to link to. I don’t see it as a fit of pique in your situation it would be ludicrous to form a link now.

    Please do enjoy life without my causing you any more trouble.

    Sincerely.
    Liz

    Reply

  77. Liz,
    I decided, or my soul decided that one more visit was needed.

    You made your apology and I accepted it. It is my fault for continuing the debate which began when you originally emailed me a letter that lumped me in with the, I must assume, many requests that were not legitimate. I should never have attempted to engage in such a futile debate nor should I have tried to tell you how to write emails to me…oh the irony! It is, my friend palpable…I know you have to see this. It is most ironic that as you were telling me how to engage you and how I should ask you properly for a link exchange that I came back by telling you how your response was innappropriate and unfitting!

    I find it odd that this conversation ever took place.

    I think our paths have crossed and left us at an impasse that shall remain in limbo and that is all the better for now. Someday we may cross paths again and when we do we might not recognize the other and find that we get along famously and neither of us try to sell the other one anything. Until that time keep writing poetry and visiting blogs that you feel might stimulate you, you never do know. As far as bloggers haunting you for links…well you do advertise such a “linkage gimmick” so stick with it and prepare to see the occasional, or any number of abusers of the priviledges you may offer, it is afterall the territory, a territory which none of us want to see regulated into extinction by the government, or anything outside of our own personal choices for our own personal blogs.

    Peace.

    Reply

  79. hello Liz, how’s you?

    I like very much that point :

    When you talk to me, be personal and act nice to me.

    While blogging now(I’m a new one makes < than 1 year to blogging). I would try to ask myself why blogs, I mean really good ones, the one shining with thousands of hits and seeing their comments meter rise and rise : wouldn't be like what you described? I mean they actually just focus(in my opinion) to what they've posted and that conversation would just evolve around that. Coming with/talking something other would just make a dull comment that might not get a reply. I think you read the blogger that I want to be, blogging to talk to persons I really don't know, infact I like much talking so behind my posts you would see me trying to open some conversation of any kind? Talking wouldn't be blogging? Trying to convince my readers to talk to me 😉 I mean that's the real joy that I find in blogging not when siding to a big star blog finding that next to his comment box, there's a box telling you to keep conversations 'only only' to the thing posted above. I mean won't talked blabla but won't that put you away to talk something. For me anything that flashes to my mind after having read a post must be put down onto a comment 😉 (I'm doing it right now but going a bit away from the whole idea I think, would I? I even thought of pulling a post some days back onto just that : how would you value blogging? wouldn't it just be an activity to get you thousands of links to make your blog value in the eyes of technorati or some other crawling machines or would that really be being "YOU" behind every post, getting those that read it to find that very "YOU" the one behind it, for me that's what "real blogging" : talking to anybody ; after some comments become somebody and then gets a name that you would remember ;} a relationship that ties you with your reader. That's why I love your blog and won't get bored even if it's only on writing. Behind each post, your mood, the randomness of your mind ;} For me it's giving back freedom to our thoughts, emotion and that time that we're paying to read out a post ;} You asked to read you but I think you read me ;} see ya Liz

    Reply

  80. hello Liz, how’s you?

    I like very much that point : When you talk to me, be personal and act nice to me.

    While blogging now(I’m a new one makes

    Reply

  81. Hi Hans,
    Great to see you.
    Thank you for your comment and for taking the time to make it. You’re a good man.

    You say so much about the point of blogging and of conversation and commenting. I agree with what you say and though you speak from a different primary language. I find your thought and sentiments come thought quite clearly with the heart of a real blogger.

    Thank you, Hans for your comment. I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and getting to know me. The pleasure of getting to know you has been mine indeed.
    You are a special blogger.
    Liz

    Reply

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