For those who come looking for a short, thoughtful read, a blogging life discussion, or a way to gradually ease back into the week, I offer this Blogging Hypothetical Question.
We’ve been talking a bit about favors lately. That’s what this question is about. Here you go. . . .
You’re outgoing and helpful to everyone. You do favors all of the time. You understand that relationships make the world go around, and you want to be part of the world. You’re fairly free with your link love, and you let people know about someone who’s done a great job by posting about it.
In fact you’re so nice, you make me look like a piker. 🙂
You come up with a really good idea and ask a friend–someone on your blogroll, someone you did a favor for just last week–to mention what you’re doing in her next post. She tells you to eat her dust. No way.
What do you do?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Related article
Bloggy Life Question 9
Sunday Night Bloggy Question 8
Bloggy Book Title Discussion 7
here’s what I’d do….nothing. Just remember what people do for you and don’t do for you. Then go about your business.
Some will,
Some won’t,
So what,
So who’s next ?
When they won’t help, just eliminate them from your world. If they don’t care to reciprocate, remove them from your world.
IF you happen to be a blogger and this happens to be in the blogosphere…..remove them from your BlogRoll and your feed reader, so you won’t ever be tempted to write about one of their posts.
Here’s a big caveat…if they acted like they were going to help, but then didn’t…you might give them another chance.
‘Scuse me for a second. I’ve got some ” eliminating ” to do. Has to do with a feed reader and a blog roll !
Life is full of surprises, if someone behaves likes THAT, you should not take it to your heart, you should not blame yourself, but just like mike said -delete them from your life, BUT not because they rejected to help you, that would be so childish. It would be like not talking to your friend who refused to share her toy with you. but you should eleminate them from your life so that they don’t hurt you in the future. say thats your way of protecting your heart and your feeling from such insensitive people. Do the right thing for the right reason.
Jack
Both of you make a lot of sense to me. It seems like someone who can accept a favor, but not give one is of another culture and doesn’t understand. That’s not the same currency of friendship.
yes thats one way of putting it 🙂
I’m very tired tonight. I guess I’m not so eloquent. I still have my metaphors though 🙂
Hi Liz,
This is Peter of Blogger for Dummies. Regarding your suggetion of an interview. Yes, I am interested. How do we go about it?
Hi Peter,
How about if you email me at lizsun2@gmail.com to give me your email address.
Meanwhile, I’ll finish the post that I’m about to publsh.
smiles,
Liz
Whoa horsie….. slow down. I’ll probably agree but, slow down.
I did her a favor last week? Okay. In the currency of society, what was the level of that favor?
And, in the currency of society, what is the level of the favor I’m now asking?
I.E. – for ex., I mentioned her in a post and linked back. Am I now asking her to promote a morally questionable product for me?
What I’m saying, before we go off on some ridiculous tangent, is to weigh it all out before we eliminate another human being from our world. I’ve “surgically removed” many from my world (including an ex.) who “violated” me. I believe the penalty ought to fit the “crime.” But some thought and communication needs to go into it first.
Did she offer an explanation why she wouldn’t? If not, I’d like to know. If yes, I might want to at least consider it’s merits (or lack of).
“A man/woman is as wealthy as the number of friends they can count.”
Just my two cents,
Mark
Good points all of them. Yeah we need to consider the size and scope of the favors. I was, of course, assuming that they were in balance with each other, but that’s not stated. Is it?
You bring up a really good point in that sometimes folks–not the folks here–usually self-centered ones–look for a reason to be righteous. My experience is the second someone feels righteous, he or she is really, really wrong.
“look for a reason to be righteous.”
I’ve made enough mistakes in the name of righteousness that have caused me emotional pain. That may be why I try to think things through before I make decisions like these – or ask for help, as you’ve done here.
Maybe thats why someone told me to come down off the cross – they needed the wood, LOL…
Mark,
You are such a good man. I love your authenticity and your transparency.
The insights you bring to the discussion are always so rich and wise. I know that’s because you have your head fully wired to your heart.
Liz
hehehe – Now , if that would only get me some kind of special dispensation with all this blog spam and email spam, I’d be livin’ the life o’ Riley ROFL.
I.E. – gee – gosh – blushing, thanks for the compliment 🙂
Go ahead blush, I always said you look fabulous in red.
😛