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Give to Yourself First

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I've been thinking . . .

about what we give away. Most folks I know give away what they need most.

If we need to feel we belong, we give that feeling to everyone. If we respect, we’re respectful in every way. If we need a hug, that’s what we give.

Does that make us saints? . . . people pleasers? . . . victims?

The answer is in whether we give to ourselves.

When we give away what we need — that connection, that respect, that hug — to everyone, but ourselves we still need what we give. We give from weakness. We hope that someone will see and give back. Other people control whether our needs are met. We end up trying to please them. If they don’t, we can feel used.

If we give to ourselves first, we give from strength. That connection, that respect, that hug is given without needing a return gift. It’s easier to choose who deserves such gifts, because we’re giving without need. We’re stronger and more attractive.

Appreciation. Respect. Trust. Love.

Give them to yourself first.

The world needs us to do that.

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Are You Listening to Loud Voices or Your Own?

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I've been thinking . . .

about loud voices.

Ever notice that in some conversations, the loudest voices, not the wisest voices, seem to win? The Internet can be that way sometimes. Sometimes we pass on broken ideas as if they are the only way something should, could or would be done. Loud-voice logic is not always the most compelling, though it may be the most passed on.

When too much information is coming my way, I fall victim to this “loud-voice listening.” When I’m unsure and looking for answers, I find myself following loud voices, because they seem so certain themselves.

When I’m tied for time, I take the first answer that works. That first answer is usually the loudest voice nearby. Unfortunately the first answer is rarely the best answer for me. Best answers happen when I follow my own voice — not that I get it right every time.

Loud voices are wrong just as often as I’ve ever been.

It’s work sorting through voices, especially the loud ones, to figure out my own thoughts. It takes time to decide what’s worth action and what’s not. It’s an effort to see behind the words to the possible missing or broken thoughts. Time and energy aren’t resources that come in unlimited supply.

So I find the voices I trust and listen to them.

Then I wonder . . .
When I sound certain without even knowing I do, am I just a loud voice to someone else?

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Work with Liz!! SOBCon08 is May 2,3,4 in Chicago. Register now!

Fast Food, Fine Restaurants, and Extraordinary Details

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In Every Person and Every Moment

The experience of a fast food restaurant doesn’t take much thinking — stand in line, get your food, and then eat. Sometimes we go through that routine without even noticing how the food tastes.

The experience of a fine restaurant is tuned and timed to whet our appetite. The service, presentation, and atmosphere are choreographed in extraordinary detail so that we savor every bit.

Blue rose in detail

Unfortunately, most life experiences don’t come served up like a visit to a fine restaurant. A sunrise, a gorgeous flower, or a new friend enters our life, and it’s up to us to see the extraordinary.

The world serves up beautiful experiences with incredible people — all through our ordinary moments. What waits in them is deeper, richer, and more valuable than a fast-food glance will ever reveal. Every person and every moment offers a wealth of ways to connect, to belong, to make our lives easier, more meaningful, and more fun.

The extraordinary details of life are the fine food experiences that feed our souls.

Where are the extraordinary details in your life?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!
SOBCon08 is May 2,3,4 in Chicago. Register now!
Image source: sxc.hu, standard restrictions

THAT's Reader Appreciation!!

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Not Everyone Would Do This Much

Ronald Huereca, of The Reader Appreciation Project, was in the audience of WordCamp Dallas. This week he posted a 25-page transcript, called Liz Strauss at WordCamp Dallas Transcript. Imagine the incredible work typing and rewinding the video to get 45 minutes into a transcript. Ronald did it so that folks who don’t hear well could participate in the session.

Wow! That’s Reader Appreciation! If you have a minute, click the logo to go over and leave a comment.

Ronald deserves some appreciation for a job well done! He’s an example of everything we like about the blogosphere!

Thank you, Ronald.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

Have You Felt the Power of Being Fully Present?

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I've been thinking . . .

about the power of being fully present.

I’ve noticed a power that comes from being present. It’s state of mind. It’s a heartfelt state of fact. If I give myself over to what’s happening, I find myself fully alive and able to enter into the moment.

Problems, difficult conversations, and huge misunderstandings take on smaller proportions when I let them have my full attention. It’s the distractions, the noises I let in, that complicate, that cause friction and pain. When only my mind is listening, I can find myself over analyzing or adding false context to a situation. When it’s just my heart, I can be overly generous or getting confused about what I “should be” feeling. When I’m only part there, I’m only getting part of the available information.

When I’m at the head, heart, and purpose of the moment. I’m complete and connected. I’m not looking for something from another person. I can take in all of the information. The integrity of who I am — like the structure of a building — holds me strong and sturdy. I can give attention. I can give and forgive, and understand.

The power of being fully present is that we have nothing missing.
We don’t need anything when we listen.

Have you felt the power of being fully present?

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Connecting by Being Connected

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I've been thinking . . .

about connections.

When my head, heart, and purpose are aligned, life is in working order. Words and ideas come easily. Work is a pleasure. People are a wonder and joy.

When I suffer a disconnect from my head, heart, or purpose, I lose track of that smoothness. Colors fade. Tasks get big and boring. Smiles get harder to find. I see with tired eyes. The disconnect disturbs me.

When I look for angels everywhere, they appear in all generosity. When I speak with care and confidence, people respond with the same. When I trust myself, people are trustworthy, and they trust me. When I work hard, people offer help.

I see in other people what I first see in myself.

Community begins inside me.

It’s huge thought.

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