Whenever I give myself room to breathe, everyone around me gets nicer.
It’s an odd thing to write under the masthead Successful Blog. It’s such an opportunity, such an “Okay, Big Shot,” moment. It’s a chance to model best practices, not just write about them.
The writer’s credo is Don’t tell, show. How much closer to that could I get than this?
I can talk about building community by answering comments relentlessly, but it’s so much more powerful when I do it and my readers actually experience how it feels. I can explain how to correct your public mistakes, but again how much greater impact it has when I actually do what I say. If I do this job right, everything I do has the potential to have a tiny positive effect on the blogosphere.
So I share with you my learning curve at the end of one month. I’ve learned.
- That people respond positively when you treat them like people who are worth talking to. They pitch in, share ideas, and form a community that’s fun to be part of.
- That when someone takes a negative viewpoint, it works better to take the conversation offline.
- That the blogosphere doesn’t need me to keep it working right.
- That keeping focus on my readers takes care of almost every problem. (Except how I’m going to pay for my son’s college. 🙂 )
In 1972, a friend said to me “You always leave the other guy a place to stand.”
That advice has served me every day since. It works with everyone from 6 to 106. We all need a place to stand–no matter how scary we look. It can be the smallest thing. Here’s a fun read about Giving the Other Guy a Place to Stand that explains what I’m talking about.
If I could choose one best practice to pass on, that would be the one–that everyone in the blogosphere leaves lots more room for the other guy to stand.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Love it! Great Post!
Tho’ lately it has seemed to me that there are those who would disagree with “That the blogosphere doesn’t need me to keep it working right” I very much appreciate you mentioning it 🙂 (Yeah, I know – that was a “bit” of a dig at someone else but I couldn’t resist. Maybe some day I’ll learn to listen to my own suggestions hehe)
I’ll bet Michael is either growing up to be or has grown up to be, a fine young man. WTG!
Mark
Hi Mark!
Thanks for the feedback. It just seemed the right time to let folks know where I stand on things. “Stand,” she giggled, “being the operative word here.”
I hate it when people stand on my self-respect, so I’ve learned how not to let them. One of the ways to do that is give them plenty of room for their own so they don’t need to grab yours . . . besides, I’m such a harmless thing–who’d want to pick on me for real? I’m like a 0 point link–with crayons. 🙂
smiles,
Liz
You are definitely welcome 🙂
A very fine lady taught me “Either stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.”
A fine gentleman taught me about self-respect (paraphrased) “If I do the right things I’ll have my self-respect. If I’m doing the right things and somebody doesn’t respect me, that’s THEIR problem.”
It worked for those folks and it works for me.
Another fine lady also taught me the reason it’s called “nonsense” is… because it makes no sense! Doh…
Ah – there may come a day when I figure out how “this brain” works but I’m not in a rush LOL.
Out to buy some crayons (yeah – you got me – 0 point link hehe)
Mark
In 1972, a friend said to me “You always leave the other guy a place to stand.�
Wow Liz… that was a long time ago. I was born in 1973. 🙂
About your point that the blogosphere doesn’t need me to survive, that’s a good point to keep in mind. It’s so true especially in the marketing arena where some ‘gurus’ act like gods.
Hock
Yeah, I must say I am mightily impressed that you can recall a year that someone told you something. I can’t even remember that one girl’s name last night.
Hey, Mark,
Thanks for adding your words of wisdom gather through the years to this conversation. We all need to respect the fold who are our readers and colleagues. Can’t do that without respecting ourselvse to start with.
Got you buying crayons. Do I? 🙂 🙂
Liz
Hi Hock,
Yeah, because we can write and people read us. It’s tempting to think our words are more important than they really are. We need to keep friends around us and took look in the mirror to see that we’re just regular people like everyone else.
PS. Don’t make a lady feel old. 😛
smiles,
Liz
Oh Scrivs,
I’m sure it was just that she wasn’t as memorable as I am.
Liz
Through the years!!! ??? LMBO… (and then I see Hock was born in ’73 and Scrivs can’t remember last night – geeesshhh, these “kids!”)
Oh yeah – ’bout the crayons? Thankfully it’s been many years (???) since I’ve said “all the pretty colors” LOL so I thought I’d check them out, ya’ know?
Never know where I can use them, after all I’m remodeling our house 🙂
Thanks for adding to the fun I’m having today – great day!
Hey, Mark, you come by any time you need a little more fun and crayons in your life.
Liz
Dang it Liz ! You have to quit teachin’ me stuff !
You say ” You always leave the other guy a place to stand..”
I really wish I could learn this riddle, but 6 years of being a US Gov’t trained ‘eliminator’ made me like being an intimidating “presence”. I’m 6’2″ & 245 and enjoy being a “presence” in the room. Unfortunately, my middle daughter needs me to learn this, because she’s just like her daddy. She gives no quarter and asks for none.
You say ” The blogosphere doesn’t need me to keep it working right.”
Well, we all could use this as a button/banner on our sites. We saw ANOTHER instance of this lately.
Get your button maker to do one of these, too. Or should I have my staff do it ? They won’t mind and I’ll host the site.
We’ll put up a page and put some info/advice there and when we see someone get too big for their britches, we’ll send them there for a time-out.
Thanks for the teachin’s, O’ Mighty Blogger…I will TRY to learn this lesson for her sake and mine.
BTW – I was 9.
Hi Mike.
Who’s teaching who here I wonder? That button idea sounds like a good once again. And I love the idea of a TIME-OUT room.
Heck why don’t we just get the world to link to this post and make my weekend? 🙂
Liz
Obviously, I don’t have the slightest idea about how to get the world link to a post. No kidding, you’re thinking.
My email is mike [at] simplenomics, if anyone has an idea for a domain name. I’ll buy it and host it.
But you have to get people to populate it with advice and things to help people understand that they are not all that and a bag of crackers.
I’ll have my staff do the CMS work and design, but I ain’t no thinker as far as domain names go.
Everytime they add a bit of advice, we’ll post it with a link to their site.
It’ll give people a place to send those that are just needin’ a time-out. Or beggin’ for a whuppin” !
Maybe we can get some traffic out of this…or at least become famous and richer.
Good post, Liz.
You write, “…When someone takes a negative viewpoint, it works better to take the conversation offline.”
Do you really mean “offline,” as in, continue the conversation by phone or in person? Or do you just mean off-blog, as in “take it to email”?
Hi Honey Girl,
Thanks!
I meant to switch over to email–out of public view. Automatically, the bravado goes away and a conversation has a chance of taking place. Think I should reword that?
Liz
Hey Liz,
’72 was a good year – I was 3 🙂
Leaving a Guy a Place to Stand – that’s right out of “How To Win Friends and Influence People” … leaving people an opening to be themselves, to have a say usually brings out the best in them, versus backing people into a corner which makes them strike out.
It’s kind of a dorky book to admit to reading nowadays – but it’s timeless and it seems your ideals are the same – not bad company there, Liz 🙂
Shhh, Martin!! I was a very precious 6. Old enough to beat you up and still am. And my big brothers don’t like when you pick on their baby sister. 🙂
My own version of the saying is that you always find a way that lets people be generous. I believe that everyone gets a really good feeling out of being the generous party in any situation. I know I do. So why not Allow them that dignity?
Liz
Yes, it’s probably better to write “take it offsite,” or “take it to email.” For as long as I can remember (’80-’81), at least, “take it offline” has meant to disengage or disconnect something (a computer, a peripheral, a discussion, a conflict) from its online state.
And don’t feel too old, Liz. In 1972 I was 24….
Hi Honey Girl,
Good to see you again!
Thanks for making sure that what I’m saying clear to everyone.
Thanks too for letting the young folks know that I’m not alone. 🙂 I’m liking you a lot, Honey Girl.
Liz
I don’t think us 3 and 6 year olds would have had much of a chance against a 24 year old Honey Girl in ’72 😉
I’ve heard that about big brothers and there little sisters – protective to the extreme comes to mind.
Honey Girl – I knew exactly what Liz meant when she wrote “take it offline”, I didn’t bat an eyelid with this one and I’m sure that most people would know what she meant.
That’s the problem with us people not born and raised in the internet/pc age, heck I remeber when I got a Walkman one Xmas (biggest thing since slice bread in my street) and “take it outside, guys” was quite common for us boys growing up in the 80s, these days, it’s “c’mon, take it offline guys.”