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Do Try This at Home Over the Holidays

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The Real Test of Our Social Skills

Families — fond memories, sentiments that bring us closer together. I’ve sure we’ve all got those. Unfortunately, it seems families aren’t absolved of people who aren’t a joy to the world, of incidents involving human error. Bad times, miscommunication, and conflict come along with the package family deal.

I know more than one person who has thought of starting over — electing a new family, demoting those currently in familial roles — she just doesn’t know how to tell the family she was born into.

It’s not a solution as far as I can see.

I have noticed that we often cut our new friends and new clients more slack than we do our families. Family history gets in the way of our relationships moving forward again.

It sure seems that where we have relationships — yeah even those stuck in a time warp — we might try our best social practices for connecting in positive ways when relationships aren’t happening.

Here’s a four-point plan to reconnect with people that you’ve had a history with.

  • Smile. Be joyful to see them. It’s a chance to change history. Be the change you want to see. The surprise alone often changes their demeanor.
  • Live that smile through and through. Folks we’ve had history with have put us into a content and context box. They use their experience and how we look, what we say, what we do — to recognize signs that might validate that smile. Belief and consistency in the smile through every test gives you and them a place to stand.
  • Never let ’em see you sweat. When we’re at our best we’re authentic. If they ask, tell them life is good and that you’ve decided to look at the world with a positive view. If they bring up bad events, agree that the events were bad and be glad that they’re over. If you need to point out that the happy occasion isn’t the best venue for sorting out history.
  • Make everything about everyone in the room. Be a great guest who is helpful, curious, and interested in the folks who came. Talk about what they want to talk about. It’s an afternoon with the audience who knows you better than any client ever will.

We know how to meet, interact, and build communities with our friends and customers here. What if we do that with our families too? If we let go of old stories, we might find that the curmudgeon in our family is really someone who wants to be listened to. The hardest ones to know can be holding great bits of wisdom. What if we made it a quest to get to it?

Lots of us know that our families don’t see us clearly. It seems only logical that it must be true the other way too. If we start connecting, imagine what we could be learning. We’ve got the skills and the tools.

What if we try this at home over the holidays?

Meet someone you already know this holiday season.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

The Mic Is On: We’re Talking About Fruitcakes!

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It’s Like Open Mic Only Different

The Mic Is On

Here’s how it works.

It’s like any rambling conversation. Don’t try to read it all. Jump in whenever you get here. Just go to the end and start talking. EVERYONE is WELCOME.
The rules are simple — be nice.

There are always first timers and new things to talk about. It’s sort of half “Cheers” part “Friends” and part video game. You don’t know how much fun it is until you try it.

Who doesn’t have a theory about where they came from?

The floor is open … but this fruitcakes is sold out.

And, whatever else comes up, including THE EVER POPULAR, Basil the code-writing donkey . . . and flamenco dancing (because we always get off topic, anyway.)

Oh, and bring example links.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
image: www.classic-fruitcake.com
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The 26th Trait and Maybe the Most Imporant …

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Yesterday I wrote about 25 Traits I Admire about Social Media Folks.
Today I realize I should have made it 26 …
This last trait isn’t complicated.
So hang with me as I lay it out.

26. The social media folks I admire …
don’t take their personal value from some list — not a list that anyone makes — certainly not a list made by me.

For those of you who might wonder . . . I admire far, far more than 25 people and NONE of the people I admire use back channels to talk down other people. They respect themselves too much for that.

Thank you to everyone who took what I said in the joyful way it was intended.

Remember this, to include people isn’t the same as leaving people out.

If you know me, you know my heart.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

A Metaphor: When a Brand New Blog Flowers

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Guest Post by Stefan Knapen

I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some. – Herbert Rappaport

I was thinking, is the opposite happening to blogging? So many blog planters, but are there enough people to smell the blog flowers?

The problem is that readers don’t know where the great flower beds are. In the great field of flowers, it is getting harder and harder to find the unique and thriving flowers, those that keep growing, and keep showing more and more unique and compelling content.

See your blog as a flower — a single forget me not. Give it water, new posts, frequently. Make sure it grows and grows. Don’t be shy to invite people see it. And after waiting, the one who finds it will tell other people to come smell that flower. And the scent of that flower will become known. Your blog is being read more.

The conversation is like seeds and spores on the wind. Given to each other, everywhere. But it isn’t the beginning of a new flower, but it can be the beginning of a new post. So it can be fruitful.

Are there enough people to smell the flowers? Maybe yes, maybe no.

But there are too many small flowers. So for flower to be found in the big field, you have to wait and make it noticeable. Make sure your flower will be seen.

Do something with every seed and spore of conversation you get. Use those words to inspire you to grow your blog even bigger, even better. And after that your blog will be the prettiest flower field of flowers because you used what you had.


Stefan writes as The Dutch SchoolKid

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Stefan,
Your comments on this blog have often inspired thoughts that are like flowers to me.
Thank you for this.

How do you keep your flowers growing, thriving, and blooming?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Images: sxc.hu
Work with Liz!!