about what we give away. Most folks I know give away what they need most.

If we need to feel we belong, we give that feeling to everyone. If we respect, we’re respectful in every way. If we need a hug, that’s what we give.

Does that make us saints? . . . people pleasers? . . . victims?

The answer is in whether we give to ourselves.

When we give away what we need — that connection, that respect, that hug — to everyone, but ourselves we still need what we give. We give from weakness. We hope that someone will see and give back. Other people control whether our needs are met. We end up trying to please them. If they don’t, we can feel used.

If we give to ourselves first, we give from strength. That connection, that respect, that hug is given without needing a return gift. It’s easier to choose who deserves such gifts, because we’re giving without need. We’re stronger and more attractive.

Appreciation. Respect. Trust. Love.

Give them to yourself first.

The world needs us to do that.