It’s Like Open Mic Only Different
Here’s how it works.
It’s like any rambling conversation. Don’t try to read it all. Jump in whenever you get here. Just go to the end and start talking. EVERYONE is WELCOME.
The rules are simple — be nice.
There are always first timers and new things to talk about. It’s sort of half “Cheers” part “Friends” and part video game. You don’t know how much fun it is until you try it.
It’s Not a Another Life …
When go to another country, when we talk on the telephone, we don’t say that we’re not in real life. But somehow we’ve started thinking that because we’re using our minds to connect online, we’re not in the real world. It’s a different culture with different rules that’s all.
- How does trust work differently in different cultures?
- How is coming online like going to another country?
- How do you figure out who’s good and who is not in different cultures?
- What makes relationships faster online?
- What makes relationships misfire in person, on the phone, and on the Internet?
And, whatever else comes up, including THE EVER POPULAR, Basil the code-writing donkey . . . and flamenco dancing (because we always get off topic, anyway.)
Oh, and bring example links.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
image: sxc.hu
Related article
What is Tuesday Open Comment Night?
Hi Liz, loving your new banner!
Hi Glenda!
Yeah it was time to retire the “astrology” header!!
;)A new header to match the new you?
Ah Glenda,
Lots changing around here. Bringing you with me. 🙂
Question: can I insert a pic into a comment? I took one just for today.
Woo, what other changes?
Howdy! What an interesting topic. Very thought provoking.
Glenda, yeah but it’s difficult. Email to me if you really want it here. Otherwise, it’s probably easier to twitpic is and insert the link.
Hey Becky!
I’ve been watching the two cultures slowly move together since SOBCon08. We ain’t nearly there yet.
People still seem to think this isn’t real life. 🙂
Be right back. Need to upload a pic to Flickr.
Ah Glenda,
Four SOBCon Hands-On Conferences in the works … One for Associations in DC soon. Meeting with the Association for Speech and Hearing.
Hey Becky,
What’s the difference between your two sxsw panel submissions?
Wow, you’re ambitious, Liz!
Yeah, Glenda,
Naturally I have help and I know how now … and these are one day events.
Ok, if this link works – http://www.flickr.com/photos/8684493@N02/3699767854/ – I saw this and had to share it here tonight.
Hi everyone. I’ve never seen it as two different worlds. I guess because I’ve always spent so much of my career in high tech?
#15 Perfect Glenda. LOL
Love that pix, Glenda!
Liz,
Panel 1 is How did this Happen? I’m in business! – That’s targeted at people who have just started or are just about to start a business and need a checklist to get going.
Panel 2 is Escape! Live where you want. – It’s for anyone who wants to take working remotely to a new level, and live where ever they want. 🙂
Great topic Liz.
When it comes to offline, people always take about the “first” impression and the importance of it. In fact there is a cliche that “you don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression.”
This was all fine before the online and social media world.
With the social media in full force, what we are leaving behind is a “zeroth impression” – an impression that will pre-suppose what the first impression might be. Everything that you write (a blog post, a comment, a review) is making a statement (almost permanently) and adding up towards your zeroth impression.
A related blog post on the topic is here:
http://www.lifebeyondcode.com/2008/04/06/ways-to-distinguish-yourself-185-pay-attention-to-your-zeroth-impression/
So my point is that the online and offline worlds are more intermixed than what it appears at the surface. Your online impressions (zeroth impressions) will vastly influence the expectations during an offline meeting and vice versa.
Have a great evening all of you.
Best,
Rajesh
Hiya!
I guess you know which panel I belong on and which on describes what most folks think of when I walk in the room. heh heh
Do you consider people you ‘talk to’ via email but have never met to be offline or online? I have dozens of people I’ve been talking to via email for half a decade but have never met in person. I still feel like I know them, and I’m sure they feel the same.
I have another pic, but unfortunately I cut off his head. “Cold n hot treats” would have been the perfect title. Oh well.
What’s the topic? 😉
Congrats on the SOBCon road show, Liz!
Like I said before, the moment of submission is such a hopeful point. It’s all a rollercoaster ride from there till they finally turn me down! 😀
Hi Raj!
Always love the thought you bring to a discussion. I’m thinking that your zeroth impression can happen before or after, but the mixing effect is everlasting.
#22
Mary,
My feelings exactly. The same happens with the telephone … I suspect most everyone has known someone on the phone long before meeting that person.
… and it’s always so funny when you meet them in person – they never look like you pictured in your mind (unless you’ve actually seen their picture)
So true Liz. I can’t believe that we had not met in person until the last SOBCon but I felt that we knew each other for a long time.
Like Mary McRae mentioned above, you can continue to build online relationships for a long time before you meet someone in person.
After that the first impression is so (positively) prejudiced that it will be GREAT.
Cheers,
Rajesh
#25
This year, Becky, we should rally a crowd to vote it up!!
If you present yourself differently online vs offline, what happens when you actually meet someone from the ‘other world’? And what would the person you’re meeting think of the different you?
Liz, last year, the SXSW panel voting went off while I was on safari. Maybe not the greatest plan on my part.
Look at the date on this, Mr. Setty …
https://www.successful-blog.com/1/a-5-part-interview-with-rajesh-setty/
#20 Hi Raj. Do you really think the first impression is different whether online or offline? I’ll have to check out your post 😉
#31
Mary, what I have observed is that if you know someone for a long time online, (except for the physical appearances) they almost match your expectations in personality and behavior.
Cheers,
Raj
#32
No panel appearance at sxsw is worth rescheduling a safari.
You can quote me. heh heh
#35 absolutely! It’s the phyiscal appearance that always gets me.
#31 Good question, Mary. Its like, “Are the two me’s congruent? “
#33
Wow.. time flies Liz 🙂
Best,
Raj
Hey Liz, Glenda, Becky, Mary and anyone else I missed!
Although there are people I have had a working relationship with that I wasn’t particularly fond of; and then got to interract with them in a social situation (after no longer working for the same company) and discovered he wasn’t such a bad guy after all 😉
#34
Mary, in the offline world, the first impression is probably in one dimension – based on the setting and context (is it a casual meeting, dinner, conference etc..)
In the online world, the zeroth impression is a medley of a number of things (LinkedIn, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube – they all speak different stories of the same person)
Their comments and discussions add color to the personality.
So the more time you spend online with the person, the richer the zeroth impression – more granular.
My $.02 of course.
Cheers,
Raj
#41 I guess I’m tired – got my singulars and plurals all mixed up on that last one. Any English majors around? Mea culpa.
Hey Joe!
How the heck are you?!!
#42 Oh I like that Raj!
Hi Mary,
Work … now THERE’s another culture!!
Mixing online and offline sometimes can be quite difficult.
Take for example, if I offer you all a Klondike here, you have to run to your refridg to get the real thing to taste it.
Anyway, Here! Catch! Klondikes for All! 🙂
Hey Liz, I am the Heck Fine.
[running to my refrigerator]
Liz,
Offtopic but sort of related request. Can you ask someone to implement threading on your comments – like Disqus or something.
I love the Open Mic but sometimes my bird brain can’t handle moving back and forth to catch up with all the fun 🙂
Best,
Raj
Joe, I’ll take that Klondike bar!
#47
Joe, where should we send our mailing addresses. I got them virtually (online) but would also love them physically (offline)
😉
Cheers,
Raj
#48
Delighted to hear that! You are my hero and the original open comment guy.
#46 absolutely. But when you work from home and virtually everything you do is either via teleconference, web conference, email, or chat (and sometimes twitter) it’s impossible (at least for me) to maintain separate personas. You get all of me 🙂
Wait I missed it! Joe, are you handing out Klondikes? Toss one in the direction of NH, would you please?
Here Becky, don’t drop it! 😉
Raj, I think you’d be better getting the real thing at the store, I think they would melt using Snail Mail. 😉
Hey Joe, missed you last week! Klondikes are in #15.
Thanks, Joe!
Have to drop out early, so I can help my husband repair a windmill.
Have a great discussion, everyone!
** wets finger & sticks it in the air for wind direction, lookes towards the Northeast, THROWS! **
Catch, Mary!
Hey Glenda, I checked #15 & 16 etc, ALL GONE! 🙁
Ok, on a semi-serious note.
I am starting a Forum & Blog for Baby Boomers very soon, almost have things set up.
Would that be a good way to connect some of the offline world with the online world?
Sorry Joe. How’s the book coming?
So do you suppose that Internet culture in two different nations is more the same than the offline cultures in the same two nations are?
#59 Joe you should try out for the Red Sox. Perfect.
#58 Becky – a windmill? really? wow.
Joe,
Your boomer forum sounds outstanding and yes I do think that will be an integral group to connect online and offline officially. 🙂
#61
On the Baby Boomer blog, I would love to connect you to the founder of
http://www.boomer411.com
You both will enjoy talking..
Please let me know if you are interested.
Best,
Raj
Glenda, been done for a while now, no sales, but plenty of views.
Liz, totally different worlds, online there is more in common than there is offline, too much cultural divide.
Liz, eg Iran-U.S.
#63 oh good question Liz! I think the people that I come in contact with who are all high-tech geeks like myself share a common internet culture that’s probably very different from their local social culture. But geeks are a culture unto themselves anyway. 😉
#63 Pondering… Maybe, because being an Internet culture, that’s a slightly more specific group, so more commonalities I’d guess. Why do you ask, Liz?
Raj, that sounds like a great idea, could be mutually beneficial. 😉
Hey Liz, i just noticed that you have a MIC in front of you in the new header.
How Appropriate! 🙂
#71
Joe, will you please send me an email with your contact details. Will make the connection soon.
My email is at:
http://www.rajeshsetty.com/about/contact/
Cheers,
Raj
Cool Raj, I’ll em you tomorrow. 🙂
#70
because I’m Chief Curiosity Officer!
#70 Of course, silly me!
Hi folks! I’ve got a slew of friends who I’ve met via blogging and who are just as great in person. How great is the internet?
Glenda,
I love it when you’re silly.
Hey –Deb!
Welcome to my night on the town. heh heh
#77
On a lighter note, Internet is the same Deb, you are great to use the Internet right 🙂
The tools are available for everyone but only few people use it to build long-term relationships 🙂
Cheers,
Raj
When relating online, where its often the written word, do you find its too easy for people misinterpret what was intended, which can result in miscommunication, hurt feelings, etc?
Hey –Deb
Want a Klondike?
#78 Thanks Liz! 😉
Glenda, I’ve found it is pretty much the same as offline…
If you have a real conversation and talk about whatever it is, you can usually work things out.
#81
Glenda,
I sure haven’t found as many misinterpretations of what I said as some might expect. Usually they seem to be on purpose by folks who just want to find things wrong.
I’d love a Klondike … and, since it’s virtual, it won’t even bother my asthma. (Score!)
You can get a few hundred knit-bloggers together and it’s instant chemistry, big hugs, and chatter/connection right away. Huge fun.
#84 But isn’t there a time delay with online where things can fester or go unresolved?
Heya Liz!
Howdy Everyone!
#85 Yes, there’s always those who look for the negative.
Chris Cree!
Congratulations on your own tv stations!!
#84, sure it’s possible, but if it is important then you can always use e-mail, DM on Twitter etc.
Where there’s a will there is a way.
I know it’s probably hard to believe but I’ve already had my fill of Klondike Bars today. Lisa brought home a bunch of the Whitehouse Cherry. Mmmm…
Thanks Liz! It’s been a crazy day.
I see that you’ve started doing video too. I like what you’re doing there.
By the way have y’all seen the new Klondike Bar site?
http://www.klondikebar.com/
Way cool!
Eh, Chris,
I just figured I should do something with the fact that folks keep saying the like my voice … and besides I have a new haircut. 🙂
Thank you!
Hey Chris,
Congrats on your TV show.
#81 I do think it’s easier to be misunderstood when you only have the written word. With phone you have voice inflection, and in person you get body language as well. I try to be careful in what I write, and use emoticons as appropriate.
Chris, Congrats on the TV show.
However, I missed reading about it.
Link?
Best,
Raj
Chris,
How has your offline changed now that you’re online and growing a business like crazy?
#87 same with quilters 🙂 The most fun is when you end up realizing you live fairly close together and have a meetup. Or you meet them at a quilt show or such. I have 6 close friends – we all met online. And now have pajama parties. Our kids (all grown) think we’re hysterical; our husbands are glad to see us go 😉
#98
Glenda, Mary
Emoticons have helped me a ton. Since people can’t read emotions in the written word, emoticons act as the tie-breakers 🙂
Cheers,
Raj
Chris–a tv show? That’s fantastic!
Thanks Joe. Thanks Raj.
It’s really just a video site, not an actual TV show. 🙂 You can just click my name.
I’m rebranding with video.
#92 Long story short: a tight knit online group, very close etc – things were said and misinterpreted etc – sadly the group fell apart. There are still hurt feelings years later. I’m not sure what the solution is.
Hi Chris,
Congrats on the new show. I did see something about it on twitter but haven’t had a chance to check it out yet.
I just bought a dot tv domain is all.
I like the topic tonight, Liz. I spend a lot of time explaining to people that the same networking principles apply to social media as they do in the local small business chamber event.
For some reason people thing the way to network is totally different. But people are people, regardless of whether they are online or off.
#105 I have seen it happen. I have seen huge mailing lists split into two because someone offended someone else. In the situations I’m familiar with, though, hurtful words were said; I don’t think it was a ‘misinterpretation.’ They may have been taken too personally, but the same thing happens in families too. My mother was one of 4; the only girl. She was always trying to patch things up between whatever brothers weren’t speaking to each other at the moment. And it went on for years.
Chris, I’ve used Videos mostly for the weekend wrap up post on Saturdays.
Mostly because I like doing them more than being useful at this point. 😉
#105
One solution is to knit that group by one by one. It takes time but if the rewards are big enough, the investment may be worth it.
I am sure that not everyone had a problem with everyone. So, if a small sub-set of people make up their mind, you could try to resurrect it.
Cheers,
Raj
#108 But I’m really shy when it comes to something like a chamber event. I’m comfortable in my own ‘territory’ and can be extremely sociable at a geek gathering or with customers in my restaurant, but feel I have nothing in common/nothing worthwhile to say at a business gathering.
I figure that people are people, whether they’re on the other side of a keyboard and computer screen or not.
#107 Well you make it sound so simple. You still have to record the videos. 😉
#111 great suggestion, Raj.
Hi strangers! Glad to see this Tuesday night tradition continues strong
Hey Tim, Liz & Chris have their own TV shows, are you going to do a “Cops” version on your blog? 😉
#105
Glenda,
Years later … that’s sad. Also says something about people’s ability to forgive. Apparently someone died from what was said?
I get that, Joe. Videos are still a bit of work for me. But people prefer to get their content in that form and it’s not about me so… I make videos now.
Mary, I’m a total introvert by nature. It has taken me a long time to appear comfortable in big group settings. I’m not. But I can at least act like I am.
The key is to get out there and do it more. The more you do it the less uncomfortable you will be.
#111,
Raj,
That was a beautiful thought. Maybe the group was really bored with each other and looking for a reason to go their own ways?
Heya Tim!
Poll:
Where are you sitting right now, enjoying the conversation (online of course)?
I’m sitting out on my patio, with the tiki lights burning brightly. 🙂
Hi Tim!
Will there be dancing tonight?
Hellooooooooo everyone! Greetings from Christie Lake via slow internet. Been a while since I’ve been here! How are you all?
Very cool, Liz and Chris
Joe – I’ve had my share of producing a cops video… been there, done that six years ago… was a blast
Mary,
I’m learning that if I forget that the room is full, it’s a whole lot easier to talk to one person at a time. 🙂
I thought Miss Glenda and I would do a moonwalk in honor of MJ
Mary – listen to Liz… she is the undisputed champ of working a room – real or virtual
I’m sitting on the floor in my bedroom, which is where my computer is. Leaning against the ottoman of the comfy chair which I almost never actually sit in–because this way, my dog can come sit right next to me if he wants to!
#121
Yes Liz. That is definitely a possibility.
I am also thinking that it would be great for people to dissolve a group with a good note so that if a sub-set of them join another group someday, there are no ill-feelings carried over.
Just a thought.
Cheers,
Raj
#119 Thanks Chris, you’re right.
I’m sitting in my office. Still. It has been a long day. Started at 5 AM & it’s nearly 10. Barely had potty breaks. 🙂
My brain is fuzzy enough I should probably disconnect and unwind a little before I go to sleep.
Thanks Raj & Mary for the follow on Twitter, I guess I should be a bit more active, huh?
#126 Great suggestion Liz!
Chris, you definitely have the knack of appearing comfy in big groups!
Karen, That’s with years of practice. And a bunch of acting lessons. My acting coach truly is brilliant.
Karen – it’s been a while… anything new with Steak n Shake?
[off topic] Darrell just came home. He landed an unexpected [tho hoped for] casual computer instructor position!
Tim, hi there. Yes, settled out of court and they are making some positive changes as a result. Good ending to it.
#136
Chris you also have the ability to look big in comfy groups. Just sayin’ 🙂 heh heh
#138 Congrats to Darrell.
Seriously. I need to shut down. Just spent like 40 seconds staring at my phone. And I don’t know why.
Thanks for the Klondikes! Good night all.
Glends, that sound ON topic to me, computers(online) and instructor (offline)
Perfectg match if you ask me.
Oh, and tell Darrell, congrats… 🙂
Good night Chris. I need to bid farewell as well – still have some work to get done before I can call it a day. Thanks as always Liz!
Karen!
So glad to see you! Did you see #11?
Glenda, hugs, girl and congrats to Darrell!
Nite Chris, you need to bright eyed and bushiy tailed for the camera tomorrow 😉
Wow, Liz, that’s great! What will you be doing with the Speech and Hearing Association?
Hey Mr T! And Karen!
Glenda,
Please tell Darrell that I said he’s HOT!!
G’night Chris
Glad to hear it Karen! Now we don’t have to boycott Steak n Shake any more… family will be thrilled.
Hello Miss Glenda… got time for a quick dance? Congrats to “da man” on his new instructor gig!
LOL Tim, that’s right, go get a milkshake!
Okay, I’m shutting down now, too. I have blog posts to write!
Karen … 18 month boycott of S&S on your behalf has not made me popular with the family!
#150 Liz, “No I’m not. 😉 And hello.”
Hi Karen,
We’re doing an event in DC
SOBCon Hands-on Associations. I’m going there to talk about that.
Definitely, Mr T!
OK all… I need to spend some time with the kiddos… g’night all
Okay you guys, next week we’re playing the backyard … bring your swim suits, bats and balls, and mischief. 🙂
#156
Darn, Glenda.
I thought I’d catch you silly again. heh heh
#160 Liz, you mean I get to be silly without getting in trouble?! 😉
Whether online or off
A Friend is a Friend
I’ve learned from the Best
Just do not pretend
If you are really true Online or off
on Real Friends you can always depend
Burma Shave
Nite Liz
Nite All
Thanks Joe!
Great, will try and join in next week– kids are at camp! Goodnight all!
Night Karen.
Outstanding, Joe,
Goodnight friend,
Sleepy swell!
Liz, can you fix that? There should be a line split between off and on Real/
Please?!?!
😉
Nite Sweetie
Good night everyone!
Thank you!!
Thanks Liz!
Hi guys. I am really late but wanted to stop in and say hello!
Coming online is like building trust in person. you don’t say hi once and walk away. Participate, participate and participate. Add value.
WOW! I try to explain this stuff to my off-line friends (REAL) friends in their minds and they just don’t get it. Great Job! I could send them a link to this article but yeah… that won’t work…
I try to explain this stuff to my off-line friends (REAL) friends in their minds and they just don’t get it.
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