December 15, 2011

First things first; 5 tips for online relationship building

published this at 7:31 am

A Guest Post by
Rosemary O’Neill

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365 Days of Gratitude

Building a lasting online relationship is a lot like building a fire. You must lay down kindling, and shavings, and a little teepee of sticks, and patiently fan the little spark into flames. Then eventually, you can add the big logs, set them aflame, and warm yourself. If you need a fire that will last a long time, you’ll want glowing coals that will produce serious heat. Building that type of fire takes time.

Following this line of thought, do you think it’s a good method to pile up a bunch of briquets, douse them with lighter fluid, and blow your eyebrows off?

That’s the mistake a lot of well-intentioned people make when they enter the social media world. They try to force a relationship out of nothing, from the merest contact, and then they’re disappointed when it explodes in their face or doesn’t ever catch fire.

Here are five tips that will save your eyebrows:

1. Don’t keep asking for the “like.” If they like you, they will “like” you when they’re ready.

2. If someone follows you back on Twitter, don’t go hunt them down on 50 other social networks and follow them immediately. Establish some rapport on the first network, then you can branch out by mutual consent.

3. Stop the auto-reply that demands something from your new visitor (read my blog, visit my Facebook page, buy my new e-book). Instead, give a human welcome.

4. Always read a blog or forum for a week or two before you plunge into commenting; it will give you a sense of the tone and style of the community.

5. Just as in face-to-face relationship building, be interested in order to be interesting. Ask questions, listen, and then focus your replies on the person you’re talking with. Drop the agenda and make a true connection.

If you take the long term approach, your sparks of connection will light up the world.
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Author’s Bio: Rosemary O’Neill is an insightful spirit who works for social strata — a top ten company to work for on the Internet . Check out their blog. You can find her on Twitter as @rhogroupee

Filed under Successful Blog | 10 Comments »


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10 Comments to “First things first; 5 tips for online relationship building”

  1. December 15th, 2011 at 7:42 am
    Crayon Wrangler said

    Loved this common sense advice. First peeve – Those auto DMs that are nothing but a verbal version of them hanging on the street in their fishnets.
    Second – We smiled on Twitter…don’t request me all of a sudden on FB, LinkedIn, 4sq, Google+…scare me!!!
    Thanks for writing this!

  2. December 15th, 2011 at 7:43 am
    CJ said

    Great blog post. I myself, am a little mystified on how to utilize social media and how to develop meaningful networks and friendships. Good tips!

  3. December 15th, 2011 at 9:34 am
    Andy @ FirstFound said

    I hate autoreplies. The worst offenders are the automatic direct messaging services for Twitter.

    “HI THANKS FOR THE FOLLOW HERE ARE SIX LINKS THAT SHOW I DON’T VIEW YOU AS ANYTHING MORE THAN A POTENTIAL CONSUMER.”

    Eugh. Nothing makes me click “unfollow” faster.

  4. December 16th, 2011 at 4:53 am
    Doug Rice said

    “be interested in order to be interesting.” I love it! Those who succeed will always be those who invest freely in others.

  5. December 16th, 2011 at 9:33 am
    Rosemary ONeill said

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting CJ, Andy, and Doug!

    CJ, stick with it, it’ll start getting easier :)

  6. December 16th, 2011 at 8:46 pm
    Bret @ Green Global Travel said

    Thanks for the great tips. Because we only work on our blog part-time, finding ways to improve our social connections has been one of the most difficult challenges to growth. Fortunately we had a few fellow bloggers help point us in the right direction on things like auto-responses.

  7. December 17th, 2011 at 2:09 am
    Jacob said

    #3 is the most annoying to me – The corresponding email asking me to like or subscribe to some other blogs. I hate it – Thanks

  8. December 17th, 2011 at 8:35 am
    Rosemary ONeill said

    Thanks Bret and Jacob! I’m hoping that with gentle reminders and pointers, the auto-reply will become an endangered species.

  9. December 19th, 2011 at 6:25 pm
    Cheryl Pickett said

    It must be the season for fire/log metaphors :-) I read another piece of advice just last week that pointed out we rarely know which kind of log will catch fire and set things ablaze so the key is to just keep trying, add more logs and tend those sparks.

  10. December 20th, 2011 at 8:45 pm
    Wez Pyke said

    Simple but effective tips. Retweeting peoples content is also a good way to connect with them.

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