Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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April 15, 2008

Give to Yourself First

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 6:38 am

I've been thinking . . .

about what we give away. Most folks I know give away what they need most.

If we need to feel we belong, we give that feeling to everyone. If we respect, we’re respectful in every way. If we need a hug, that’s what we give.

Does that make us saints? . . . people pleasers? . . . victims?

The answer is in whether we give to ourselves.

When we give away what we need — that connection, that respect, that hug — to everyone, but ourselves we still need what we give. We give from weakness. We hope that someone will see and give back. Other people control whether our needs are met. We end up trying to please them. If they don’t, we can feel used.

If we give to ourselves first, we give from strength. That connection, that respect, that hug is given without needing a return gift. It’s easier to choose who deserves such gifts, because we’re giving without need. We’re stronger and more attractive.

Appreciation. Respect. Trust. Love.

Give them to yourself first.

The world needs us to do that.

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12 Comments to “Give to Yourself First”

  1. April 15th, 2008 at 8:18 am
    Barbara Ling (aka Owlbert) said

    I had to stop my current projects to comment on this when it appeared in my feed reader - how so very very, VERY true and insightful.

    From strength comes strength…and while it’s certainly possible to be encouraging and positive even if you wish the whole world would vaporize yesterday…you make a much more powerful impact if you first internalize the goodness you seek to offer….inside.

    Enjoy,

    Barbara

  2. April 15th, 2008 at 8:38 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Barbara!
    You said that so much better than I ever could. Thank you!

  3. April 15th, 2008 at 10:03 am
    SpaceAgeSage said

    Neediness always seems rooted in insecurity, doesn’t it? And thus it is soooo hard to move into a place of strength where we can get our needs met.

  4. April 15th, 2008 at 10:30 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi SpaceAgeSage,
    When we’re ready to be there, it’s a decision. Until then we refuse to go.

  5. April 15th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
    Robert Hruzek said

    The ultimate irony (which as you know is an ancient Celtic word that means made entirely of iron) is that one of the surest ways to gain these things is to give them away!

    This thought inspired tomorrow’s post, Liz! Thanks! … and thanks!

  6. April 15th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
    LaurenMarie - Creative Curio said

    Insightful. And somehow I feel a release of pressure to have this be said. Thanks, Liz :)

    Do you think a way to give to ourselves is to let ourselves be vulnerable and ask for what we need? I do. And I feel better when I ask for what I need, instead of trying to appear like I have everything together. But first, I have to be honest with myself and admit I need. Hard to do, but worth it.

  7. April 15th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Robert!
    Though to be careful, give from abundance and it comes back. Give from deprivation and deprivation stays with us.

  8. April 15th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi LaurenMarie!
    Yeah, it’s a gift to ourselves to let the weight off our shoulders. :)

  9. April 15th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
    donna B said

    not to mention genuine sincerity .. right?

  10. April 15th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Donna!
    Are you saying, “be sincere with ourselves?” I’d agree.

  11. April 16th, 2008 at 6:01 am
    Middle Zone Musings » How to Be Beautiful said

    [...] story was inspired by my friend, Liz Strauss, who give away more than anybody I know, and has no idea how far her gifts go - and doesn’t [...]

  12. April 17th, 2008 at 5:20 am
    Robert said

    Wonderful reflection!
    Robert

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