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August 22, 2007

I’m the Life of the Party . . .

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 6:13 am

Can we talk about . . .

parties.

Don’t feel bad if I don’t come to your party. It’s not that I don’t want to be with you to celebrate. It’s that parties scare me.

People at parties act differently. They talk differently. They smile party smiles. They chat party chatter. I watch people at parties, and I see them waiting for the fun to begin. It’s intimidating. I end up like Alice in Wonderland at the Tea Party. My words seem to be in another language.

If I get there early, I’m sure the fun hasn’t happened. If I come in the middle, the fun seems to have started without me. I’m not sure how to join in. If I get there too late, the fun seems to be over.

People say, “Hey, here comes the life of the party.” I think, Uh-oh my life is now over. I’m about to do something too big or too foolish.

To me parties are more like the Serengeti than like my natural habitat. Navigating a party is much harder than a photo safari.

It works better, if I don’t call it a party. If I call it a few friends “getting together,” the pressure seems to come off. I can talk to friends without feeling that “fun responsibility.” Friends don’t expect friends to be effervescent and fun every minute, . . . except maybe at a party.

Fun is so elusive and undefinable. I don’t want to be in charge of it. Sometimes I don’t know I’ve had it until I look back long after it’s over.

I know I had fun once, but don’t ask which time it was.

Oh yeah, then that one special party happens . . . when I lose self-consciousness. Fun falls from the sky like stardust on me . . . yeah then, going back to the real world no fun at all.

I guess I pack too much into when the word parties. I wonder whether I’ll ever outgrow that.

Until then, I’ll keep thinking of them as visitng my friends who are getting together for some occasion. Then, I can have a good time and even be entertaining.

Sometimes I can be the life of the party, as long as it’s not a party.

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8 Comments to “I’m the Life of the Party . . .”

  1. August 22nd, 2007 at 8:03 am
    Sanne Roemen said

    Oh dear Liz, sometimes it scares me to recognize so much of myself in your posts. I don’t only feel like you do at other people’s partys, I feel that way even if I would throw my own! I never celebrate my birthday.

  2. August 22nd, 2007 at 8:07 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Sanne,
    Lots of folks feel the same way about parties. :)

    I’ve gotten to naming all parties something else for that very reason. :)

  3. August 22nd, 2007 at 9:45 am
    Leo said

    Hi Liz,
    I was invited to a party first of September yesterday. At the local gym.
    My problem is that I it’s often too loud at parties and that you are always sort of supposed to go after the other sex. While I do not know how to do that. Maybe I’ll go though. Far worse is my own birthday party in September ( 50 Years of age then ).

  4. August 22nd, 2007 at 9:49 am
    Joanna Young said

    Liz, I feel like Sanne, I thought you were writing about me!!

    I don’t know if you’ll have heard the Jona Lewie song “you’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties” - that’s what reading this made me think of. Maybe we could all meet up in the kitchen somewhere sometime :-)

    Joanna

  5. August 22nd, 2007 at 9:51 am
    ME Strauss said

    There are a whole bunch of us, Joanna!
    We make too much of an event like a party and get all uncomfortable about it. :)

  6. August 22nd, 2007 at 9:54 am
    Sanne Roemen said

    Uhm… I just don’t ‘do’ parties. That’s nice and quiet. No matter what I call them I will always feel the same.

  7. August 22nd, 2007 at 10:03 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Sanne,
    I understand. :)

    I like dinner for four at the most best of all. :)

  8. August 22nd, 2007 at 12:00 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Leo!
    It’s nice that you’re having a birithday, but that does present a birthday party conflict . . . Do you mark the day or do you ignore it? I saw find a sunrise some cheese and wine and some really good friends. :)

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