February 18, 2008
New Improved ‘Work with’ Page: Round Two
ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 7:23 am
Ready for Round 2
Last week I invited you to critique my “Work With” page. Those of you who stepped up offered so much insight and information. I had to put your suggestions to work. After a few hours and quite a few revisions, I’m bringing it back for another look.
Here’s what I did.
- I made the Opening headline about the reader. I didn’t make it a question. Do you think I should?
- I also rewrote that opening section to reflect the final page once it was rewritten.
- I made the entire page more specific.
- The emphasis on connecting began to feel forced so it went away.
- Everything is now more concrete.
- At first I didn’t think adding the testimonials would work — I was trying to keep the page short. Finally, I put them in. I like how they add to the conversation.
- I used her suggested three parts and added a fourth that was missing.
I also changed the picture and made all of the writing parallel.
Now What?
First, a huge thank you! A special thank you to Joanna, Mike, and Shama for writing their thoughts out here for all to see. I thought it only fair that I show you the result. To see the full page, click on the link above the screenshot.
All of the credit goes to you. Thank you again. It’s true that
No person can be inside the thinking and outside the thinking at the same time.
I’m one lucky blogger to have an incredibly cool team you!
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!
Filed under Marketing, Successful Blog | 10 Comments »
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10 Comments to “New Improved ‘Work with’ Page: Round Two”


Joanna Young said
Hi Liz, how funny, I was going to e-mail you this morning to say how much better your about page looked and what a fabulous lifelong learner you are, taking what you’ve learned and immediately applying it!
I think it’s much better now, a lot more specific, and I have a much clearer idea of what would happen if I was going to work with you.
Joanna
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Joanna!
I thought that you all should get credit for how your imput contributed to what I think is a fabulous improvement. Thank you for your help!
Mike DeWitt said
Hi Liz,
Very nice work! Now you’ll have to figure out how to handle all the new biz…
Mike
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Mike!
I think the universe will work things out on that part.
Thanks for checking in.
Steve Olson said
I come around once in a while, but don’t comment often.
The trick is making a headline about the reader without making it corny. I think you did that with this makeover.
I have a hard time with testimonials, they can make you look spammy and take away from credibility. But I like it when they are done right, and you did them right here.
My only question is…
In your call to action, could you use something more direct? Something that includes the benefits to me if I take action?
ME Liz Strauss said
HI Steve!
Thanks for coming around! I know you do. I visit you the same way.
Your opinion matters. The testimonial thing is what made me hesitate when it wa suggested. I’m going to look at that call to action. I’m guessing you’re talking about the big one.
Shama Hyder said
Love it Liz!
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Shama!
Thank you for your help!
Brad Shorr said
Hi Liz, the new page looks fantastic. The testimonials work well – they break up the narrative into bite-size pieces (thanks for including my words of praise!). My opinion on the headline – it’s quite effective as a statement, though I don’t know if putting BE in all caps adds anything.
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Brad!
Thanks for the words of encouragement and the observations. Can’t wait until we get a chance to work together again.