It’s Natural
Here’s how it often works. He says. She says.
I say, “Sure you do. You’re just not seeing it.”
If you’re stuck finding out, sorting out, what you love doing, my experience is that what you love doing is so obvious that you can’t believe it is worth counting. Let me tell you about Martha.
Ah Martha, her desk was like it belonged in a magazine. If she wasn’t in her office, folks thought she was out for the day. Everything had its place, and you could bet it was there. Soft-spoken, gracious Martha had a smile that lit up the department of 32 people and thousands of pages she kept track of. Marha was a sea of calm in a world of publishing paper clutter.
For her performance review. I asked Martha to do a self-appraisal. Martha reached outside herself to find many things that she did well and wrote them up in excellent fashion. All of the qualities I described above were missing.
When I asked her about it, she said, “Oh, anyone can do those things.”
I replied, “No, Martha, folks aren’t nearly as organized as you are, nor are they as calm and gracious.” That turned on her room-lighting smile.
I said “You love organizing things and all of us, don’t you?” Her larger smile told the story.
Martha didn’t see what she loved or her most valuable qualities. She discounted them because they were was something that was a natural talent. We tend to discount what comes naturally to us as not as valuable because we didn’t “earn” it. Yet, Martha’s talents were what kept my department working smoothly and without friction. To this day, I miss her.
She didn’t see it because it was obvious and so natural to her.
Yet everyone else knew how valuable her talents were to them.
Look to Your Second Nature
If you don’t know what you love doing, ask those folks who rely on you. Look at what you do as second nature. Think of those defining qualities and the things that you always do and would be nervous or bummed if you could no longer do them. I can’t imagine Martha not being allowed to organize things.
What can you not imagine yourself not being able to do?
Not long ago when talking with the other founders of SOBCon, I said, “I have to be the keeper of the vision.” I explained it in this way, “it’s not ego. It’s not about control or the name of my blog. It’s what I do. It’s what I’m good at. It’s in my DNA. I can’t NOT do it.”
What’s the thing you can’t NOT do? What’s imprinted on YOUR DNA?
C’mon and say it out loud.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Related
To follow the entire series: Liz Strauss’ Inside-Out Thinking to Building a Solid Business, see the Successful Series Page.
I can’t not give advice when asked. That second part is a new personal growth development – I used to be over zealous in my advice giving. But, I hate to see people digging holes for themselves when they really don’t have to be.
I am just one of those folks who think, “If I have food in my teeth, please tell me – don’t let me walk around like that. I’d tell you.”
Hi April,
I’m going to have to meet you. You sound so genuinely aware of who you are. I’m wondering what you would most miss doing . . .
Hi, Liz!
I love the way you presented Martha. I feel as if I know her. Thank you! 😉
– I can’t *not* think through solutions, and share them…
– I can’t *not* encourage others, even if things do indeed appear grim…
– I can’t *not* create…
But, I think the one I would miss the most is: I can’t *not* tell people to never, ever give up — followed up with “let’s make it happen!”
Hi Dar!
You’re particular good with helping folks find hidden streams of income. 🙂
You bet you’re good at what you wrote here. I’ve heard you in action. 🙂
Martha’s hard not to love. 🙂
Thank you, Liz. I think I needed to hear that
tonight, LOL. (Is that terribly selfish?) 🙂
I’m going to work on my ‘homework’ now, and if
I still don’t have an answer by tomorrow, I’ll be sending out an SOS.
I’m enjoying your series. I know you work hard for us here, and I appreciate you sharing it with us, so we can work, too. 😉
It’s a good kind of work…
Hi Dar!
I’m delighed to hear you sounding so confident! You’re homing in on the things that make you spectacular! YEA! for you. 🙂
I can’t wait to talk again. 🙂
Liz – what an awesome way to make my heart smile! You seem to do that a lot for me…thanks.
I would most miss personal growth. Mine and others, personal and professional (the four seem to always intertwine).
When you say I sound like I am aware of who I am, this is true – sort of. I realized sometime ago that I am a dynamic individual rather than a static blender. And I am ok with that. The “ok with that” was a bit hard because I always thought people had to “find themselves.” Nah – I decided, I am not lost! I know where I am at all times…mostly 🙂
That started a phenom journey of discovering, improving, readjusting, deep sixing, dealing, and growing. I would so miss that.
Hi April!
Smiles are great, aren’t they?!! 🙂
I’m with you, personal growth all around is wonderful and I thrive on it also. It’s no fun being lost. It’s more fun exploring the world and wondering about the universe. 🙂
I would miss the same things that you would. 🙂
I can’t NOT write.
I can’t NOT keep trying to be better in all of my roles and responsibilities (woman, mom, wife, writer, hausfrau).
I can’t NOT keep trying to figure out what work will make me happy. 😉
I’m re-entering the workforce after being home with babies. I’ve got some time to figure out what type of writing will be most satisfying to me (or whether writing is even IT). Your blog is most helpful, thank you!
Hi Kris!
It sounds like you’re well on your way to figuring out what you’ll be doing! I’m delighted that I could be even a tiny part of your dream. 😉
Hi Liz! I’m not really new here, I’ve visited a few times, but this article is going to make me subscribe to your feed (finally!). I love the way you make things to easy to understand and think about. Seeing as you don’t know me, maybe this will help:
1. I can’t imagine myself not staying home to raise my kids in the future, but still support the family (monetarily)
2. I can’t imagine not growing, maturing, learning and sharing those experiences with others (hopefully to help them grow, too!)
3. I can’t imagine not being able to create, whether it be through graphic design or crafts
4. I can’t imagine not being able to learn new things–skills, knowledge, people.
And now, I’m no longer a stranger 😀
Lauren Marie!
Welcome friend!
Wow! You know who you are, don’t you! How incredible that comment is. Yep! No hopefully about it. If you do what you say, how could other folks not grow? Don’t back off on your light now!!!
After all you are the FIRST to claim not to be a stranger. How cool is that?!!! 🙂