Successful Blog

What Tony Lawrence Said … About Commenting on Blogs

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A community isn’t built or befriended,
it’s connected by offering and accepting.
Community is affinity, identity, and kinship
that make room for ideas, thoughts, and solutions.
Wherever a community gathers, we aspire and inspire each other intentionally . . . And our words shine with authenticity.

Getting Folks to Follow You Home

When new bloggers ask how to get more readers, one of the first answers offered is usually to comment on other blogs. Connecting with like-minded thinkers with a thoughtful response to what they write is a strong way to let folk know who we are. The key is in the quality of the comments we write.

Here’s what Tony said . . .

I don’t think I like the idea of commenting on every post.

If you are really adding something worthwhile, fine. But how many of us have something useful to add on each and every post? And if it IS that useful, I’m probably going to blog about it myself and include a link back to my inspiration rather than leaving a comment. Of course that does zilch for building traffic links, but if I’m really saying something important, it may be better for me long term.

In fact, whenever I start writing a comment and it gets over a paragraph or two I start thinking “Shouldn’t this be a post?”

This comment qualifies, but I’ll leave it here just this once

I also don’t necessarily like putting links in my comments. If I honestly feel that I have something you really have to read, I might, but I’m more apt to just say “I do have a post on this at my site” or (most often) say nothing at all. I just don’t like using other people’s comments to promote myself.

When someone comments on one of my sites for no apparent reason than to get a link, I delete their comment entirely. If they have added something at least marginally useful, I’ll leave it be. I’m not draconian, but I’m not going to be spammed.

If somebody asked a question and I have a good answer on one of my sites, yes, of course I’ll link to it. But sometimes, and particularly if the post at my site is short, I’ll just cut and paste from the post instead of linking.

I’m probably too conservative in that regard.

Tony Lawrence from a comment on October 31, 2005

A successful and outstanding blogger said that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

Do Try This at Home Over the Holidays

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The Real Test of Our Social Skills

Families — fond memories, sentiments that bring us closer together. I’ve sure we’ve all got those. Unfortunately, it seems families aren’t absolved of people who aren’t a joy to the world, of incidents involving human error. Bad times, miscommunication, and conflict come along with the package family deal.

I know more than one person who has thought of starting over — electing a new family, demoting those currently in familial roles — she just doesn’t know how to tell the family she was born into.

It’s not a solution as far as I can see.

I have noticed that we often cut our new friends and new clients more slack than we do our families. Family history gets in the way of our relationships moving forward again.

It sure seems that where we have relationships — yeah even those stuck in a time warp — we might try our best social practices for connecting in positive ways when relationships aren’t happening.

Here’s a four-point plan to reconnect with people that you’ve had a history with.

  • Smile. Be joyful to see them. It’s a chance to change history. Be the change you want to see. The surprise alone often changes their demeanor.
  • Live that smile through and through. Folks we’ve had history with have put us into a content and context box. They use their experience and how we look, what we say, what we do — to recognize signs that might validate that smile. Belief and consistency in the smile through every test gives you and them a place to stand.
  • Never let ’em see you sweat. When we’re at our best we’re authentic. If they ask, tell them life is good and that you’ve decided to look at the world with a positive view. If they bring up bad events, agree that the events were bad and be glad that they’re over. If you need to point out that the happy occasion isn’t the best venue for sorting out history.
  • Make everything about everyone in the room. Be a great guest who is helpful, curious, and interested in the folks who came. Talk about what they want to talk about. It’s an afternoon with the audience who knows you better than any client ever will.

We know how to meet, interact, and build communities with our friends and customers here. What if we do that with our families too? If we let go of old stories, we might find that the curmudgeon in our family is really someone who wants to be listened to. The hardest ones to know can be holding great bits of wisdom. What if we made it a quest to get to it?

Lots of us know that our families don’t see us clearly. It seems only logical that it must be true the other way too. If we start connecting, imagine what we could be learning. We’ve got the skills and the tools.

What if we try this at home over the holidays?

Meet someone you already know this holiday season.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

The 26th Trait and Maybe the Most Imporant …

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Yesterday I wrote about 25 Traits I Admire about Social Media Folks.
Today I realize I should have made it 26 …
This last trait isn’t complicated.
So hang with me as I lay it out.

26. The social media folks I admire …
don’t take their personal value from some list — not a list that anyone makes — certainly not a list made by me.

For those of you who might wonder . . . I admire far, far more than 25 people and NONE of the people I admire use back channels to talk down other people. They respect themselves too much for that.

Thank you to everyone who took what I said in the joyful way it was intended.

Remember this, to include people isn’t the same as leaving people out.

If you know me, you know my heart.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

If You Remove the Social from Social Media Tools …

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Hammersmith or Nail Banger?

This weekend on Twitter, I passed along Beth Harte and Geoff Livingston’s fabulous post, Top 25 Ways to Tell if Your Social Media Expert is a Carpetbagger. I encourage you to read it.

Not everyone who does things differently than we might have them do it is a carpetbagger. I’m sure Beth, Goeff, Jason, Chris, Amber, Mack, or any other well-respected social media adviser would agree with that statement. Individuals and individual companies need to find their own voice and their own path.

Yet in this fast growing context and culture of experiments and experiences, the chance is high that folks may not have found the information they need for every decision. The world is full of “Swiss cheese knowledge.” Some folks get taught by bad teachers. Some things get past all of us.

Add to that the creativity factor, the drive for innovation, and the necessity that is the mother of invention. Experimentation is a good thing, especially as we test new tools. No one gets to pick who’s qualified to experiment and who’s not.

I’ve used a wooden-heeled shoe to pound a nail when I didn’t have a hammer.

What happens when the experiments change the nature of the tools?

If You Remove the Social … What’ve You Got?

Social media tools — blogs, social networks, Twitter, Facebook, Ning — what happens when you take out the social and just use the tool? What happens when messages and conversations become automated and future dated? What have you got if you don’t know whether you’re responding to a person or a bot?

It’s a fair question.

Some folks see the world with a different filter. They find uses for books and hammers that I’d never imagine. Some folks find uses for social media tools that, in my mind bypass the social. Allow me three extreme — of course no one actually does these things — metaphors to explain what I mean. Here are three people who would surely not see the social in social media tools.

  1. The person who sends a singing telegram rather than meet for coffee. That person probably won’t understand why socially inclined social media advisers don’t take to auto responders.
  2. The person who enters into a new neighbor’s house, saying “Cool boxes! Glad you picked my neighborhood! Check out my roller skate store.” That person probably won’t see the problem folks have with a “Just found you. Will you review my blog?” requests that come before “hello” has been mentioned.
  3. The person who interrupts people at parties to hand out business cards might not put together why a Twitter profile page filled with his / her website links and no @ signs would be considered unsocial.

Don’t get me wrong. Tools are meant to solve problems and experiementing is how we learn. Guy Kawasaki says there’s no wrong way to use tools such as Twitter. Within reason I have to agree.

I’m just sayin’ … when I use a wooden-heeled shoe to pound a nail, I’ve not become a hammersmith or a journeyman carpenter. I’m a nail banger who reconfigured a shoe.

For a hammer to be hammer, its design, function, and use involves setting nails. When I use a hammer as leg on a artfully made table, it’s no longer a hammer. It becomes a table leg.

The primary design, function, and uses of social media tools involve community, conversation, and relationships. A social media advisor brings social skills, relationships, and conversation into the mix. Without using the tools as they were designed, the tools change into something else.

If you remove the social from social media tools, what have you got? More Internet Marketing tools. Spammers and bots figured that out.

Scary thought.

How do we keep the social in social media tools?

If you disagree with what I’m saying, please set me straight. If you agree, please help me explain.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

How Many Followers Make a Demographic?

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Seeing Numbers Instead of People

It happens in art and in science. I’ve seen the market flatten and demolish educational best practice. Exceptional music has been remixed into muzak. Groundbreaking movies have been merchandised into plastic toys.

Commercial culture depends on the theft of intellectual property for its livelihood. Mass marketers steal ideas from visionaries, alter them slightly if at all, then reissue them to the public as new products. In the process what was once insurgent becomes commodity, and what was once the shock of the new becomes the shlock of the novel. Invariably, early expressions of sub- or alternative cultures are the most fertile sampling grounds, as their publications or zines are the first to be pilfered. Invariably, pioneers of radical form become wellsprings for appropriation. Rebellion of any kind breeds followers, and many followers become a demographic.
Underground Mainstream [emphasis mine]

Any idea, philosophy, or culture that gathers a large enough number of followers has the potential to become a demographic. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Identifying a demographic can be a good thing. When blogging moms became a demographic, their voices were elevated, strenthened, more respected. When they formed communities and networks — BlogHer, Sparkplugging, and Mom Central, they became visible, listened to, reachable. It’s a benefit to consumer moms everywhere. Products offered will serve moms better and moms in customer outreach will be portrayed more accurately.

While awareness and understanding of the influence and collective wisdom of group can be a good thing, sheer aggregation of a group opinion is not conversation or even effective communication. Individuals still matter. Not every mom wants the same things. Geekmommy doesn’t write a blog about her kids.

How Keep Your Followers from Becoming a Demographic

Once we pass some number of followers — Dunbar says it’s 150 — it’s hard to know every invididual in a group personally. Howdo we keep the conversation personal and valuable without flattening it to numbers and global traits of people we hardly know?

The question has been whether the conversation is scalable. It seems it can be. But as Amber Nashlund says, “It’s not a plugin, people … It’s a serious approach to business communications and customer service and if you’re to succeed with it, you had better take it that seriously from the outset. You are making a commitment.”

We can do what great communicators and community builders have always done. Here are some ways to keep sight of the people who are following you.

  • Listen individually. Pay attention to people as they speak. Listen for the differences in how they say things. How they react to the same situations.
  • Before you answer someone new, take a peek at his or her profile. Visit a blog. Read a blog post. Know something about the person you’ll be talking with.
  • Ask intriguing questions that invite individual opinions. Encourage people to elaborate and to ask questions.
  • Reach out to folks who don’t talk much and always answer the new person who makes a comment.
  • Get the whole community talking to each other.
  • Set aside time to talk to new people. Make a special point to invite them to participate in the conversation.
  • Be interested in every person’s experience. Ask for details.

Thinking demographics reduces people to numbers and flattens our understanding of why they do things. It washes out the rich, diversity and individual details. When we get into “demographic think,” we can lose sight that every person brings unique wisdom, experience, and history to make decisions based on their own criteria. Know the demographics, but talk to the individuals.

<a href="http://www.sxc.hu/browse.phtml?f=profile&l=wilhelmien">m. ricquier </a>

Have you felt like you were a number — not a person — recently?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Image: sxc.hu
Work with Liz!!

Why I Like to Know Who’s Following Me . . . Extreme Twitter Personalities

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Not everyone who does these things is a faker, some are just learning how things work.

Before Twitter got to be such a phenomenon, it seemed only the natural thing to say “hello” and follow back folks who followed me. Every person was an opportunity to learn more about the dynamics of the blogosphere, who hangs out here, and how the conversation really works.

When business conversations came to Twitter it became even more. Client relationships are being formed and forged there. New products ideas are being born there. People are finding jobs and recruiting people fill job openings. Opportunities like that get people talking and that got more people Twittering. It’s almost an explosion of fast and furious growth. Fast growth always has it’s problems — on the people side of Twitter one of those problems for me is how to sort the fakers from the followers.

Who’s Following Me?

You may have bumped into them, the Extreme Twitter Personalities. I’ve seen my share. Some follow you so that you’ll follow them. Then they disappear hoping you won’t notice they’re gone. Some do more nefarious things.

Because we talk about who we are and sometimes say personal things, such as where were going or who we’re with, I like to know who’s following me. I follow almost everyone who follows me, but I check them one at time. I use these traits to watch for Extreme Twitter in my Twitter Stream.

The ones I notice first do of these things:

  • The GAMER — sends an auto Direct Message that says “Thanks for following me! … ” It asks me a question or to click a link. When I try to Direct Message a reply, I find out that the person is not following me. The gamer never has an interest in learning about the other person.
  • The CLUELESS — sends an auto Direct Message that says “Thanks for following me! Would you tell me, how did you find me?” I followed this person because he or she followed me.
  • The MURDER MYSTERY WRITER — follows 2000 people without a tweet. I was feel like I’m in slasher novel where a group of people have been invited to a weekend at a mansion where there is no host. I suppose this could a silent listening account.
  • The SEX SELLS SHILLER — has a sexy picture and a tweet or two about how I can make a six-figure income. Again this Twitter usually has a girl’s name with Candylim12 and is following thousands. She’s a friendly girl with lots of accounts.
  • The TWITTER TROLLS — talk to people who don’t know them or jump on sentences out of context to criticize or pick fights. The controversy the cause, though entertaining at first, is a waste of time. They do it for followers and attention.
  • The INFORMATION FONT — only passes on links to things people might want to read — the links come too quickly for the Twitter to have checked them out.
  • The BROADCASTER — has a home page filled with tweets with his or her own url.
  • The RETWEETER — reads links that others tweet and passes them on, hardly ever talks. This is a service.
  • The INTERNET MARKETER — only tweets about why people need his or her product.
  • The MAGPIE — puts ads in an already overly chatty twitter stream.
  • The ROMANCER — quickly switches to IM to try to talk about personal romance ideas.
  • The PARTY TWIT — Can’t spell on certain occasions and parties every night.
  • The LIVE TWEETER — wants you at the conference too and seems to be at a conference every day.
  • The CAT TWEETER — tweets as if channeling animal he or she has bonded with.
  • The STALKER — is this square box avatar is following 1, 2, 3 people only.

    • The NOOBIE — Could be doing almost any of these things by accident.

Keep in mind that Twitter does have its glitches and beginners don’t always get everything right from the start.

What makes Twitter so fun and useful is that connects people to converse about almost anything … my guess is most of us have been a few of the above on a given day. And we’re all extreme to someone who thinks far differently from the way we do. Twitter seems to have room for all except those who cause danger or harm.

Some I hope I’ll never be. Some I block right out of the box. Some I wait to see if they’re just getting started. I’m grateful when noobies say so in a tweet so that it’s obvious what’s going on.

If I’m not sure about someone, I usually

  1. look at who’s already following them
  2. ask someone who might know
  3. or do what @KurtScholle told me he does.

When something looks just a little off @KurtScholle told me his solution is to keep a file called Twitter to Consider when he’s not sure whether he wants to follow back. Great Idea.

What other Twitter Extreme personalities have you found? What’s your response to each?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!
Image: ADOdesign