We Think a Lot
The other day, we were talking about being shy and telling stories in the context of self-promotion. I said something about the “ME” in self-conscious. I’ve always thought about it. RK came back and put to words in a pair of comments that said exactly what I always had wondered about . . . am I shy or am I egotistical?
Then, oh then, the killer sentence was this one.
I’d say the ME in the Self-Conscious could be very much due to hyper thinking and analysis. — Comment by RK
Guilty.
How Too Much Thinking Used to Screw Me Up
This is one of my best stories . . . ever.
The company had a feeling about people that was good. Some folks were larks and some were owls was how the president described it. So no one really watched what time anyone came in the door each morning. Everyone assumed we all knew what our role was and that we did our fair share.
Except well, it started to get noticed that my team was coming in later. Then later. Soon it was after 9:30 when the last ones were trailing in. Okay so maybe I was the only one who noticed . . . but I don’t think I was.
In any case, before anyone else said something I thought maybe I should.
We had a short meeting at 11 a.m. I explained that we were kind of pushing the envelope on the time we came in, that maybe we should be aware that other folks might misinterpret things. After some conversation, everyone went to lunch.
Two hours later, two people still weren’t back.
This is the part where I did too much thinking. . . . I had two completely different arguments going on in my head at the same time.
- They’re good people. This is a coincidence. I should handle this as I always would. Treat them as adults. Assume they have a reason. Move forward.
- We just had a meeting about taking advantage of time. If I don’t say something, I’m not doing my job.
I bet I had this argument going on for at least 20 minutes as I kept looking at the clock on my wall. I got absolutely nothing done during that time — talk about not doing my job.
As I’m in the middle of this argument, the two return. I hear their manager say to them, “Are you NUTS!?”
It was the perfect response for the two people and the situation.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Check out the Work with Liz!! page in the sidebar. She’s much better now.
It sounds like I’m working in your shoes, separated by time and distance, but the same shoes nonetheless.
What was the outcome? I’m dying to know.
Hi Jesse!
They heard her. Apologized. The issue was immediately resolved. Not a hurt feeling not a bad mood. Everything smooth as silk. She had said it with just enough irony. That they realized their misstep.
I knew as soon as I heard her voice she chose right. She went with her amazed reaction.
All was well. 🙂
Yeah. When dealing with people issues sometimes the obvious, with a touch of humor, can take you exactly where you need to go.
It’s not about making the one who made a mistake feel small. It is about communicating their mistake in a way they understand. Humor can be a great tool to get that job done.
Liz, thanks for the story. I’m glad to know that others struggle with the same things.
Hi Chris!
Overthinking means I was making the issue about ME — it wasn’t about me. It wasn’t about them. It was hardly even an issue. That’s what my manager saw that I overthought into a monster. 🙂
Hey Dave,
This story at the time was agony. Now it totally cracks me up. I was so silly. When she said, “Are you NUTS?!!” I all but said, “DUH! What the heck is wrong with me?”
Luckily I was alone in my office at the time. No one would have understood why I was laughing.
Good thing I read the comments. So these two were peers of yours, not staff? And it was YOUR manager who chided them?
That makes it a lot better story! 😉
Hi Mike!
No I was everyone’s boss! They were just smarter than me!
>It was hardly even an issue.
Although certainly as a stand alone issue, coming back late from lunch might merit a raised eyebrow. However, after talking with them about their tardiness they’re very late coming back from lunch.
A. They’re not the brightest stars in the night sky.
B. They’re making a statement.
C. They’re oblivious to their tardiness and it’s timing. (See ‘A’)
Am I missing something here?
Liz, been there, done that 😉 LEARNED Kiss principle
Jeff, do we take you with a pinch of salt? (Hope so, otherwise….)
Hi Jeff!
I’m more awake now. Last night I didn’t have the mind to answer your thoughts coherently.
You made an assumption about the people and the act. That’s similar to what I was doing. If we look too much at the act, we take the value of the people out of the equation.
These weren’t two screw ups who constantly flouted the rules. They were two top designers.
Sometimes really intelligent folks hear a change in the rules and think, “Oh that doesn’t mean me.” I’ve done it.
Many brilliant folks don’t ever get to work on time or haven’t for years. I work with those folks to help them change their values around that issue, because I know it’s to my benefit and worth it beecause I value them and their work.
Everyone makes mistakes often within minutes of being told something.
And the culture was on of “you’re adults” we trust you. They just hadn’t transferred “get in before 9” to lunch — both of stayed regularly until after 7pm.
Hi Karin!
What eventually saved me from this awful overthinking was that I learned to get the WHOLE STORY, before I decided what was going on, how I felt about it, and what I would do.
I know, What a concept!!
Hi Liz,
I just got redirected to your blog by Mike Sigers over @ simplenomics. After reading through a few of your posts, I will definitely be subscribing. Keep up the good work!
Hi Aaron!
Welcome!
Mike has been a friend since the beginning at Successful-Blog. It’s nice to meet someone who knows him. 🙂
Thank you for letting me know you’re here. You’re not a stranger anymore. 🙂