One Note and 42 Days Later
My husband and I got married 42 days after we met. He says he fell in love when he read a welcome note I left downstairs when he came to pick me up for a date. He still mentions it now, 23 years later.
We had a small wedding — 12 people in our living room.
My mother-law-in didn’t approve. She wanted us to wait. She also cried showing her husband what I wrote her on our wedding day. She told him I must love her son very much.
Both son and his mother heard what I said and knew I meant every word.
Using your authentic writing voice isn’t hard once you know how. In fact, it’s natural and works with all writing, not just lovey stuff. You only need to remember five things to do. Would you let me show you how?
5 +1 Steps to Your Authentic Writing Voice
Your authentic writing voice is the one that sounds like you. It comes from you, your thoughts, your insights, your innovations, your opinions. It rings and resonates with your humanity and sings with the uniqueness of your personal brand. Anything less might go unnoticed, but when your authentic voice is present readers respond to you not just to your words.
Your authentic voice will serve whether you write about Linux, or puppies, new fangled guitars or astrodynamics. Use these 5 plus 1 steps to find to your authentic writing voice and to start using it.
1. Tell your own truth, but don’t think that doing that is special. Calling attention to the truth, or to your telling it, makes the message sound too precious and feel manipulative. To write with an authentic voice I had to learn to let go of what people might think of my truth or of my saying it. Authenticity is risktaking with a marvelous reward.
2. Write simply, using the words that you think with. Sharing the language of conversation is small-talk writing. Sharing the language of thinking is deeper and more revealing. Readers recognize that. Let the words bypass your internal editor to hit the keyboard as you think them. Use the next point to make sure they’re the right ones.
3. Care about one reader — real or fictional. To touch a reader, a writer’s head and heart have to be hot wired together inside every word. Whether the subject is humor, or tech, or how to drive a car, it’s this connection that will give you the words that will resonate enough to draw readers to you. Even when your reader is a teacher, a friend, a learner, or a colleague that you have trouble tolerating, care a lot about him or her. No matter your feelings, that is a person, a human being, who is reading what you are writing. Respect is crucial to your authentic writing voice.
4. Until you know your authentic voice well, read what you write aloud and change it until you could easily say every word without tripping. I still do this whenever I can. We all have vocal patterns and phrasing that mark how we talk. Learn what yours are and you’ll start to write to them. Your readers will hear them. Your writing will sound like the person who wrote the words is inside their computer or on that sheet of paper.
5. Use metaphors and stories to be sure that your message is clear. Your stories and metaphors are personal and feel like gifts to me. What’s more authentic than showing me who you are?
PLUS ONE: Know that you can’t do my voice, and I can’t do yours. We might come close, but unless we have reason to, why bother? You’re not me. I’m not you. We’d probably both end up doing a laughable facsimile of each other. Readers have a way of seeing right through our attempts being what we’re not.
It’s easier for me to relax and write real thoughts for readers I care about. It’s also much faster. More than that, the readers I know seem to value the bond that occurs when I talk about important stuff truthfully, without putting flashy things in between us.
Some days I wish I could talk as well as I write. I don’t. Though my conversation has considerably fewer typos — that I know.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
If you think Liz can help with your writing, check out the Work with Liz!! page in the sidebar.
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Liz,
I think this is exactly why I like blogging but I don’t like writing. To me, blogging is like thinking out loud but writing requires too much thought.
My writing voice comes across much better when I blog. Blogging has helped me get past some of my issues with writing and I noticed that the last writing project I did (web audit report) was much easier to write and was well received by the client.
Wow! I spent 4 years (well, 5 if you count campus riots and antiwar protests in ’69 & ’70) in Journalism School at Kansas and didn’t learn half of what your five points just taught me.
I should ask KU for a tuition refund and forward it to you. Of course a refund in 1967 dollars would equal about 37 cents today.
Under my “What I Learned Today” column goes, caring about, touching, talking with one reader. I’ve got some promotional copy to write this afternoon and I’ll define my reader and reach out to her or him as I construct the message.
Good stuff, Liz! Thank you!
Hi Char,
Yeah! It’s much easier to be authentic and tell the truth once you get used to it isn’t it?
That formal writing is getting harder and harder for me too. 🙂
Wow! Scott.
Those are some words! Thank you so very much. This is probably one of the easiet posts I’ve written in a very long time. I guess I know this one well.
It’s great to hear your support coming from a guy who’s going to write promotional copy. I’m just grinning. You obviously understand permission marketing and have respect for the folks you promote to. That puts you pretty darn high in my book.
Nice point :-). 23 years! Wow!
Hi Amrit,
If we hadn’t gotten married so quickly, we might not have gotten married at all. 🙂
Thanks for the smile. 🙂
Liz — My brain is reeling as I try to keep up with everything I want to say in reply:
I’ve heard about whirlwind romances my entire life. My parents married less than 3 months after they met, had 8 kids in 10 years and are still happy together after 53 years. It must have been the most uncharacteristic thing either of them ever did but somehow it worked.Know that you canââ¬â¢t do my voice, and I canââ¬â¢t do yours. — This statement sang to me. It’s one of my pet blog peeves when people in comments say, “you should have said” or “you shouldn’t have said” or “you should have said it like this” — I know they’re just saying that they disagree and that’s a part of discussion. But we don’t get to tell people what they should have said. I always assume the writer has said exactly what they wanted to say. And that’s exactly what they should say. Even if I disagree with what was said.Scott — I followed you to KU in 1974 and had several friends in the journalism department. And lots of friends who were there during those exciting years, ’69 & ’70.’ Have you gone back to Lawrence recently?Liz — every point even the bonus is spot-on. Thanks!
(that was supposed to be a neatly numbered list. I’m very sorry for the total lack of formatting.)
Katie,
Thanks for the conversation and the comments. I agree. A writer says what a writer says.
It’s not a reader’s job to tell a writer what to say. It’s a reader’s job to read and respond with a reader’s thoughts, not edits.
I think that sometimes readers edit because they don’t know how to respond to ideas. Teachers should work more on teaching kids how.
That’s so sweet and informative, Liz. But, sometimes, it’s scary to write your [mine in particular] thoughts down. I find comfort in vagueness and prefer metaphors over the authentic “me”.
Sasha,
I don’t blame you. There are certainly times and places where I NEVER do.
You don’t always have to write in your authentic voice. But gosh it’s great to have it as a choice.
You’re right. It is great. I guess, from experience, it just didn’t work out the way it did for you when I chose that route. Hahaha. Ah, well — that’s why it’s called a risk, eh?
I find number 3 interesting.
When I first started blogging (not that long ago) I was blogging for the masses I think. Which is not in my nature as I do much better one on one. When I started to realize that it really didn’t matter how many people read my blog. I really needed to write it as if one person was reading it. That one person being the most important reader in the world because he was reading my blog.
I’m still working on it. But I’m trying to make it a conversation between me and one other person. I’m not even sure if this what you were trying to say. I often take your ideas and run with them and put on my own spin.
Roy,
That’s it exactly! Thank you for saying it so elegantly. Yeah, the most important reader there is. That’s showing you care. 🙂
I like that a lot!
You never know how many people are reading. It’s the same way when writing for books . . . a writer can’t make adjustments for all of them, or what happens is what I call sit-com writing.
I like your way, Roy, a whole lot better. 🙂
Hey Sasha,
Yeah, sometimes it’s risky, you gotta know that going in and you gotta know what you can afford to bet when you do it. 🙂
So, is it safe to assume that this writing option is not for the faint of heart since you can find yourself in a certain vulnerable position? But, then again, I did find the experience liberating somehow so that’s a positive thing. Hehehe.
Yeah, Sasha,
I suppose it’s something you try in bits until you get the hang of where your own limits are and your own voice is. That would be the authentic place for you, anyway wouldn’t it?
I love your site! There can never be too many people like you in this world. You are encouraging others to free themselves, to be who they are and flower in their own authenticity. In the process, you have renewed my courage. Keep on blogging!
Endless Thanks,
Drea
“Know in your mind that you’ve got to remember your name.”
-Days of the New-
Hi Drea!
And by saying what you did, you did the same thing for me. 🙂
Thank you,
Liz
Some days I wish I could talk as well as I write. I donât. Though my conversation has considerably fewer typos â that I know. ——- I’m the same way! Thanks for this great post, excellent advice. And I’m like you, if only I was as good at talking as I am at writing, lol. But alas I’m not and I’ve learned to live with it. Thanks again for the great post! 🙂
Warm regards
C
Great post Liz!
I am relatively new to blogging with one year behind me.Finding your own voice and I would say personality in wordas is and has become more important than ever as myu Blog is beginning to bloom.
I started blogging with no pre-concieved plan or ideas other than I wishedto tell a story of my life.
Telling the truth and exposing your weaknesses as well as triumphs wins readers over.
Money was never the goal or objective for me!
I am starting to think though,
Will be following your posts
Greg
Hi Greg!
The more you find your own voice, the easier it will be for people to hear what you’re saying. You’ll be consistent and understandable, but better than that. You’ll be a voice we can trust, because the you inside that voice will be coming through.