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NEW POWER WRITING FEATURE: An Editorial Makeover

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Why Powerful Writing Is Important

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One of the ways I work with clients is to help them improve their writing. It might not be fair or accurate, but people judge our ability to reason by how we express ourselves in writing.

Thinking . . . writing . . . business . . . thinking . . . we can’t separate them.

business thinking writing

Together they determine our place in society. Whether you blog, write for business, or only email, writing is critical to your future.

New Feature: An Editorial Makeover

I’m introducing a new feature — An Editorial Makeover. It’s a Content Edit — a Before and After — where you can look over my shoulder. Every editor edits differently. You won’t agree with all of my choices. That could make for great conversation.

I’m starting with a paragraph from my own work Bad Boys of Business: That’s Not “Real” Work.

Turn the page to see the first Editorial Makeover.

___________________________________

Before — What I Actually Wrote

Look who came riding in behind the Bad Boys of Writing. It’s the Bad Boys of Business. They’re just as seductive and tricky as their counterparts, and they do [see insert] just as much damage. Get these con guys in your head and they can totally blow your productivity.

Meet their leader [see insert], Bad Boy 1: That’s Not Real Work. [see insert]

Stressed Out Before We Start

We’re about to sit down and get to work, and then we realize that our desk is still covered with remnants of our last task [see insert]. Time to clean up before we start a new one. Get [see insert] a fresh view in our head.[see insert]. That’s when this bad boy shows up. [see insert].

“That’s not real work. [see insert],” he says.

_____________________________________

After — How I Actually Revised It

Look who came riding in behind the Bad Boys of Writing. It’s the Bad Boys of Business. They’re just as seductive as their counterparts, and like their writing friends, they do damage. Get these con guys in your head and they can blow your productivity.

Meet their point man, Bad Boy 1: That’s Not Real Work. You’re wasting time.

Stressed Before We Start

We’re about to work, and we realize that our desk is covered with stuff. Time to clean up, to get a fresh view before we start. That’s when this bad boy starts talking.

“That’s not real work. You’re wasting time,” he says.

__________________________________________

Want an Editorial Makeover?

Send 2-3 paragraphs of your writing. I’ll use your work for the next makeover. I’ll be gentle and I’ll keep it confidential. If you’re worried, you might have a friend send your submission for you. Email your work to Editorial Makeover at lizsun2@gmail.com.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
If you’d like Liz to coach you with your writing, visit the Work with Liz!! page in the sidebar.

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See the Power Writing for Everyone series on the SUCCESSFUL SERIES page

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Comments

  1. Jim says

    Dear Liz,

    What a fantastic idea! In one of my grad school classes we spent more than 30 minutes editing just a couple paragraphs. Some students found the exercise defeating and excessive, but to me it was a valuable lesson about cutting through jargon and getting to the point. Needless to say, I’m still learning.

    I’m sending you three paragraphs from a recent post on my website. I’m researching Muslim immigrants in Berlin, and my excerpt is from a recent post on language flubs. I’d be delighted if you gave my writing a makeover!

    Thanks for your time and generosity!

    All the best,
    Jim

    Reply

  2. ME Strauss says

    Hi Jim,
    Welcome and thank you for your comment!
    I’d be happy to make yours my next Editorial MakeOver. I’m thinking next Thursday might be the day for it. . . .

    I’ll let you know what it’s up and send you a copy so that you can see it.

    Reply

  3. Roy Jacobsen says

    The idea of showing a makeover is great. Can I offer a suggestion? Spend a bit of time next time explaining the reasons behind the changes you make. In the example above, not everyone is going to immediately understand why you deleted so much of the text you had originally written. (Not everyone has internalized Strunk and White’s “Omit needless words.”)

    I’m looking forward to looking over your shoulder as you do this. (Heck, I may steal the idea for my blog!)

    Reply

  4. ME Strauss says

    Hi Roy,
    Nice to meet you! I always invite suggestions. I started to write what I was doing, but then I realized that omit needless words and and find more vivid synonyms were going to be the same points on almost every makeover.

    If you steal it, send me money. I have kid in college. 🙂

    Reply

  8. ME Strauss says

    Hi Joe,
    That’s and interesting challenge. You’re the third to ask, but your request is a different kind. I don’t mind taking a look at it. It might take a few days to get there . . . Could be fun. 🙂

    I’ll be gentle. 🙂

    Reply

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