Stuck in the Weeds

What a week! Sick as a dog! Seriously. I lost the battle and became all about me. I was center of the universe and the universe was ALL WRONG!!

The sun when it shined hurt my eyes.
Folks weren’t responding — gee I wonder why?
I wanted someone to fix me.

It wasn’t the universe that was wrong — it was ME.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with myself about decisions and irresistibility. It went something like this,

Aren’t you the only sick person on the planet? Aren’t you the only one who has lots to get done? If you don’t like where you are, move your location; change your disposition; get out of the center of the universe.

So I did. I just decided that the universe and my friends are already supporting me more than I was noticing. I was so right about that. Heroes and angels were all around me — clients, sponsors, family, friends, folks who hardly knew me were suggesting how to lighten my load — They weren’t asking anything in return.

Once I got out of the weeds I could see that it had been raining wildflowers!!

I saw their smiles. Each made me just a little bit better. Quickly those little bits added up to big bunches. I’m back in the world of living color.

Thank you to every wildflower I know.

being bent.

I know a few things about myself . . . I know that I’m not always such “a prize.” When time — a true sense of urgency enters in and details begin to pile up — I get focused on answers and moving things forward. It’s at those times, I try to be extra nice, because I don’t want to be. What I want to is get things done.

It works something like this . . . I focus on the tasks at hand, but people who know me, aren’t used that. So they expect me to be my usual laid-back self. When I call and ask for a few minutes, they say how busy they are. I get confused. I say I only need a five-minute answer. I hear their whole schedule.

I feel put in a box — made less — by people who don’t have time and don’t remember that I always have time for them.

Right now with SOBCon, I have many things to handle all lined out and organized. I only have exactly enough time and bandwidth to get it all done. Some folks started to help then faded away. I know we all can’t give a lot.

The irony is that ones who don’t have time for a quick question are the ones I’ve helped the most. So I’m doing something wrong, because I would hope they would know me the best.

Have I talked too much at them? Have I not have been respectful of their time in the past?

I’d sure love to know what you see. Straighten me out. Would you? I’m obviously bent.