Ready for Round 2

Last week I invited you to critique my “Work With” page. Those of you who stepped up offered so much insight and information. I had to put your suggestions to work. After a few hours and quite a few revisions, I’m bringing it back for another look.

Here’s what I did.

Joanna’s Observations

I made the Opening headline about the reader. I didn’t make it a question. Do you think I should?
I also rewrote that opening section to reflect the final page once it was rewritten.
I made the entire page more specific.
The emphasis on connecting began to feel forced so it went away.

Mike’s additions

Everything is now more concrete.
At first I didn’t think adding the testimonials would work — I was trying to keep the page short. Finally, I put them in. I like how they add to the conversation.

Shama’s Suggestions

I used her suggested three parts and added a fourth that was missing.

I also changed the picture and made all of the writing parallel.

Now What?

First, a huge thank you! A special thank you to Joanna, Mike, and Shama for writing their thoughts out here for all to see. I thought it only fair that I show you the result. To see the full page, click on the link above the screenshot.

Work with Liz!!

All of the credit goes to you. Thank you again. It’s true that

No person can be inside the thinking and outside the thinking at the same time.

I’m one lucky blogger to have an incredibly cool team you!

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Work with You or Work for Them?

Last night, I enjoyed a delightful, long conversation with Shama Hyder from After the Launch. We talked about how her business and mine match up. Shama”s strongly drawn niche is in marketing. She offers service professionals a six-month marketing makeover plan. My background is product, community, and strategy. I help businesses and people find their vision, develop compelling new products and services, and write irresistible offers about them.

During our conversation, we talked about that topic I mention so frequently . . . that you can’t be inside the thinking and outside it at the same time.

Our conversation got me wondering whether my ‘Work with Liz’ page is doing what it’s supposed to do as well as it might.

Is My ‘Work With’ Page Doing What It’s Supposed to Do?

So often I say, “Everything needs to be about THEM — the customer, the reader — not YOU (or in this case, me). It’s time I took a look to make sure that I’m following my own advice.

Section 1: Outstanding and Irresistible

This section is most certainly about the clients I want. It’s a little sparse on words. In the world of needs-benefits selling, this puts forward the needs. The subhead might be stronger if it said, Outstanding and Irresistible Business, because that’s what the three questions are about.

Connector and Performance Manager

This section is about the features and benefits of the “product,” which is me. [Each phrase in bold is a feature — something that is delivered. The words that follow are the benefits that each feature offers the “buyer.”] The execution could be more tightly done. The YOU in each benefit phrase is hidden. I need to state it outright as I did in the fourth bullet. This whole section could be a whole lot more YOU.

Connecting All Parts of You

This section does what the section above should do. It’s interesting that I added it several days after I wrote the rest of the page. Distance from what I write helps me.

What Folks Have to Say about Working with Liz

This is the proof and the call to action. If I don’t ask, people don’t know that we seriously want them to buy what we’re offering. I think this does that clearly enough.

Overall, in most places I seem to be selling the right things. My heart says I could do it more concretely.

What changes do you think would improve things?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!