about fear . . . a lot.
I know it seems that we’ve all lost our manners. Our humanity and compassion seems to be scatter shot, when it’s there. Some of us seem to care more about plants and animals than the people nearest us.
Have we really all gone bad . . . or are we afraid to admit we’re afraid?
For most of us, it’s not the most fun time to be living. We see ourselves and our friends in truly precarious positions. Clients go south. Jobs go with them. Healthcare shrivels up and stress makes that an issue.
Do we think it’s brave to deny that it’s scary? We can’t fix a problem, we’re pretending isn’t there.
It’s braver and smarter to admit where we are and act on it. Here’s how to do to be brave and smart about what scare us …
From “Oh F#@&” to OK Speed Drill
“Oh F#@&” — Reaction
Identify and acknowledge your feelings.“I’m scared. I could lose my job. I could lose my home soon.”
Go somewhere that you can say it out loud. The act of exhaling while you talk will calm you physically. Close your eyes for a minute or two. Hearing the thought will lessen it’s power over you.
“Oh God” — Release
Regain your balance. Keep your eyes closed and breathe deeply through your nose, until you feel the thought let go of it’s hold on you.“Oh Jeez” — Recenter
Keep breathing deeply and if it helps, keep repeating through these phrases as you breathe:
“Oh F#@&” “Oh God” “Oh Jeez” “Oh Well”“Oh Well” — Refocusing
Now you can start to think about damage control and making the best of the situation. If you find yourself negative again, go back a step or two.“OK” — Re-engaging
Plan what you need to do and get moving.
—Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
So you’re stranded in a situation you never expected. We all are.
We can all push aside the fear and get to how brave we are.
The brave and smart survive because we turn fear into action. We don’t allow another option.
Hi Liz
My believe in humanity and compassion has been firmly restored this week.
I’ve seen a supplier and former employer jump right in when we had to tell him the sad news one of his former employees and now client had passed away suddenly. Our friend too – like us Dutch and living working in the UK, that’s why we got the phone call from the police.
Our friend’s English girlfriend at a complete loss what to do with the to her still unknown Dutch family, but still trying to organise the sad things that need organising in these situations. Supplier went out his way to contact the Dutch family and help them out; and in between panic, sadness, despair on both sides of the English Channel we are trying to translate, help, find out and business wise (friend is business man) stabilise between the grieving parties.
Grieving but brave persons all around – humanity all around, even between those who’ve never met before but are not afraid to admit they need/can-will give help.
Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
Hi, Liz,
Great, great article. Full of good and pertinent advice. Being overwhelmed can either paralyze us or motivate us depending on how we respond. You’ve given us some great advice as to how to respond so as to be motivated.
I agree with you that much of our anger and lack of compassion comes from fear. I think that the biggest thing to remember is that it is OK to be afraid.
Courage isn’t the lack of fear, it’s more about taking rational well-thought-out action in spite of our fear. The most important thing is to maintain a rational mind-set which faar tends to destroy.
You’ve done an excellent job of showing us how to keep rational while looking our fears dead set in the eye.
Thanks. I appreciate your wisdom.
Dave
Thank you, Karin, for that story of humanity. I wish I had been home to respond in real time. As it is I write this on my iPhone, feeling uplifted tonight that you shared your experience of the genuineness we can rise to … In that is the thread that holds together.
You are so right, Dave.
Courage is what keeps us walking, believing, holding each other, and talking even when we are afraid.
No worries, I know you’re there/here
Karin H
Thank you, Karin.
It’s good know you’re there too. 🙂
Well, feels like you wrote this post “just for me.”
Thank YOU to the divine inspiration that connects us all and allows the “brave and the smart” to stumble, fall, scrape its soul’s knees, and be lucky enough to have someone like you to offer a hand.
BRAVO-BRAVA!
Hiya!,
I didn’t write this for anyone. I wrote this for all of us. 🙂
We need to remember how human we can be.
With love to you.
Liz