Thinking smal-L —> B-ig Thinking
Everyone should have a dream, something they strive for, somewhere they want to be. What’s yours? Do you really want your dream or is it a romance and a fairy tale that you talked yourself out of a long time ago?
I’ve been thinking about dreams and goals. I’ve figured out that only three roadblocks keep dreams and people apart. All 3 are things that we think and what we do because we think them.
If I tell you what they are, would you change the way you think to chase after that dream of yours?
3 Ways of Thinking smal-L
In order to change the way we think, we have to know what we want to change. The thinking in question here is the way we discount our own abilities — the way we think ourselves to be small, smaller than we really are. We focus on the things we lack and talk ourselves out of our dreams because we
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Lack confidence and the character of a winner. We think only other folks get to have that brass ring, that great idea, that warm place in the sun. We see their winning and not the work that they went through to get there. So we think it’s luck and not in our cards. We don’t push, don’t persevere, don’t question and test, and stay the course.
Lack of money. The road to the dream we want requires investment of time and effort, maybe education too, all of which translates to m-o-n-e-y. We don’t want to risk what little we have on a dream we don’t believe.
Lack of knowledge or comfort. We have to do things we don’t know how to do or do things we don’t like to do — We stand facing things they didn’t teach us in school. There is no path set before us. It might be talking to lawyers or finding clients. It could be learning how to book ourselves into a music venue and all of the steps in getting our first CD made. It would be so much easier if our dreams came with a built-in assistant and a teacher.
Those three Ls talk plenty of people out of perfectly wonderful dreams they’ve had.
3 Ways of Thinking B-ig
We can replace that kind of thinking. We don’t have to make ourselves small. With a shift in the way we do things we can remove all three of those roadblocks. By focusing on the things we’re going toward, we can talk ourselves into our dreams, if we
Build a plan on facts and information. We can research how other folks got where we want to go. Thinking bravely enough to test our dreams isn’t a problem, as the dream becomes a possibility.
Barter when we can’t buy. That’s what the pioneers did, and it worked quite well for them. We’re in a world of cottage industries again, and again folks are bartering services to get to where they need to go. If we look around us with creativity, we’ll see have skills and opportunities to help and promote others. We can use them in trade for skills and services that we need. It’s surprising how easy it is to do.
Bank on our support system. Be a learner. Be a friend. Find the folks we know who have done the things we’ve never done and who like to do the things we don’t. Almost everyone likes to be generous when they can. If they can help, they most likely will. If not, often they’ll tell of others who might be available. Friends do those kinds of things.
I didn’t say it would be easy, but anything worth having is worth an investment. We are talking about our $Million Dollar Dream here, aren’t we?
Would you be willing to change three things to get there? Some folks do.
I’m one who’s doing all three right now.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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See the Thinking Outside the Box series on the SUCCESSFUL SERIES PAGE.
Liz,
Thanks for the post. I think you nailed this one.
I started my first publishing company on a dream, lots of long hours, bartered extensively, and received plenty of support. It’s all about implementation. Once you launch your idea, you’ll be surprised how many people are willing to help.
Get started! Sooner than you think you’ll be living your dreams.
Enjoy,
Greg
http://www.eoecho.com
Hi Greg!
Thanks for your comment. It’s great to hear from someone who knows and has been there. I’m pedalling as fast as I can to get my dream off the ground. I can see and taste it. It’s right around the corner.
You’re the best for stopping by.
Liz
I had an interesting experience today.
I left a comment on a blog because I thought it was an interesting article. The blog is one of the “Know More Media” blogs. Which from what I understand it’s a group of blogs owned by one person and he hires writers for the different blogs. I’m not exactly sure of the financial arrangement. I should also point out that this was a new blog. The article was about India maybe having a manned moon mission. Here is my comment:
“I have always been fascinated by India, the culture and the people. This may sound silly but I remember seeing the “Amazing Race” with episodes from India, and it was “amazing.”
As an American I would love to see the largest democracy in the world, India, do a manned moon landing. Though it seems they will have to budget much more than $84 million.”
Awhile later the author of the blog came to my blog and left a comment. The comment was nothing about the article, here it is:
“Roy,
thanks a lot for visiting my blog and putting a comment there. Well, I wanted to know about you but I could not find anything in this blog about you. May be, I failed to find the About Me Page but I feel that it should be more visible in your blog.”
I may be new to blogging but it seems obvious what’s going on here. He only came to my blog and left a comment because I left one on his. He didn’t even talk about the article he was commenting on. And he took it upon himself to point out a problem and a suggestion that I didn’t ask for. It seemed like that could have been handled in an email if he felt it was that important.
I know there are people who only blog to get traffic for ads. It’s rampant on the internet. Personally I don’t want to be associated with that type of blog. Am I being too critical of this guy or is this kind of activity to be expected? Should I expect other bloggers to leave obligatory comments simply because I commented on their blog? I would much rather have real readers leave comments about real issues. I guess in the future I need to be more careful where I leave a comment.
Sorry if I hijacked this thread. But it is a “bloggy question.” I hate too that it’s so long and thanks to those who actually read it.
Big Roy,
It’s okay. That was a reader who wanted to know more about you before he read your post and wrote his comment in the usual place. Most people have a rule not to use the email from the comment you leave in protection of your privacy, unless they personally know you or you have emailed them in some way first.
So the commenter might have been telling you in the only way he or she knew how, thinking that you could delete the comment after you read it.
I don’t think any “correction” of your style was intended. I think it was a helpful gesture. My experience is that most bloggers, particularly those at KnowMoreMedia, are really friendly helpful people who care about other bloggers succeeding.
No worries about hijacking this thread. My comment box is here for the folks who read my blog.
Hi Liz,
For my case, it wasn’t so much about me thinking small but I allowed others (family, English teachers and Drama professors) to convince myself I would never make it as a writer or journalist or just about any job that requires writing and speaking. I won’t bored you with their demoralizing remarks but I will tell you that their skepticism could easy kill anyone’s dream if s/he isnââ¬â¢t mentally strong enough.
Thanks to my stubbornness and having faith in myself, I started writing seriously only four years ago and now I’m an author of one romance novel and a blogger for a number of blogs. I still have a long way to go, but at least I dare to make my childhood dream come true.
Wow! Renee!
Talk about having faith in yourself against the odds! Nothing is harder than going against the folks who love you, the ones who put the original tape recordings in your head.
Congratulations! You deserve a standing ovation.
I’m wearing a giant smile for you tonigh!
Big Roy: thanks for sharing that anecdote. Know More Media is run by my friend Jeremy Wright, of the famous Ensight blog, a marketing site.
While that “reciprocal comment” was OT (off topic) to you, I do the same thing all the time. I will try to post a comment at the blog of a person who posted a comment at my blog.
In fact, I refuse to post comments at blogs run by selfish bloggers who don’t reciprocate. There are few exceptions to this rule of mine.
The blogger who “scolded” you actually was giving you precious free advice, though if I did it, I would probably toss in some relevant remarks on a specific post within your blog.
But I never thought much about your type of reaction to what we hardcore bloggers do. Thanks for sharing that insight.
The blogosphere is a battle ground, and don’t let anybody tell you different. Female bloggers generally tend to avoid confrontation, conflict, and combat, but most male bloggers enjoy jerking each other’s chains and even harshing.
The blogosphere was built on sharing technical information and arguing about computer games, computer operating systems, etc.
It was never meant to be a jungle of digital journals or a paradise of nice people acting like passive chumps, vulnerable to con artists and such.
See how you inspired me to ramble on endlessly? Keep up the good work, my friend. Oh, and grow a thick skin too while you’re at it.
;^)
Well said, Vaspars, especially the part about the historical perspective on the blogosphere having an impact on how folks, i.e. guys comment. It’s like the Puritan ethic only tech style.
Jeremy, however, runs b5. Dan Smith runs KnowMoreMedia. Techie typo.
Great post, Liz.
As the starter of many things I’ve found one thing that separates the successful from the also ran’s.
It’s listed in a small frame on my wall with a slightly faded card entitled, “Persistence.”
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not;
Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not;
Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not;
The world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and Determination alone are omnipotent.
–Calvin Coolidge–
John,
Great Calvin Coolidge quote.
I’d not run into that one before, but as life would have it, we were just discussing persistence at dinner on Thursday night.
Go Figure.
ME Strauss: (that sounds so authoritative, like a composer?)
Thanks for correcting my mistake about Know More Media. Good bunch of folks over there.
I am studying this blog to see what your magic is for having so many comments per post. Isn’t it weird, or maybe clear?, that many fine blogs get almost no comments at all?
Blog Business Summit is a blog I really like. I used to agree with most of their posts, but lately I’ve been in conflict with some ideas expressed and have laid into them. I even feared being banned, but they assured me they will not ban me for disagreeing with them.
They get very few comments, but the blog team is very busy with clients and books and seminars, so that seems to limit their reciprocal commenting and interactions with other blogs. This probably has an effect on the low number of comments posted.
What do you think? You have a very healthy, smart comment thread arena here. You are an expert at building blog community of shared interests.
I notice how you encourage and support your readers, a motherly/sisterly kind of interaction, very nurturing.
Women nuture, men fight? And I’m not sexist, in fact I fight against patriarchy and use that word, which is not used much anymore for some reason.
I am about to write a post about Why We Fight Online, why blogodebate is pretty much mandatory for every blogger now and then.
Anyway, keep up the good work. The ability to subscribe to replies to comments is a very good feature, wish I could implement it on my Blogger blogs.
Hi Vaspers,
Here’s my secret. I really like talking with the people who come here about the ideas that they leave in the comment box.
I also truly believe most people know more than they believe they do — that’s my experience as a teacher coming out.
In real life, I’m more of a tough love teacher than a nurturer, but I don’t like conversations that raise the atmospheric stress because they change the tenor of an “argument.” Personally when debate gets too heated, I can’t hear anymore. I get like a deer in the headlights from the information.
I also notice that in the heat of the battle that men often twist the argument premise slightly to get back on a winning track.
I have to go to a meeting. Sorry I can’t talk more.
Great article Liz.
There’s no doubt that those things have stopped me on many occassions. My other problem is I have too many dreams and wonder if I’m followig the right one which makes me a “starter of many things” as another comment said. I believe i need to put that Calvin Coolidge Quote somewhere prominant, where I can see it every day.
Hi Rita!
Glad you returned to talk some more. I too have many dreams, but seem to only follow those that pull me along with them in as time keeps calling in that direction. I guess that’s how I seem to know them.
Just as an update. Me and the other blogger have since exchanged personal emails and we are buddies.
To respond to Vaspers, I don’t mind a confrontation at all. If you read my blog it’s all about confrontation. But I have found there is a big difference between bloggers doing this as a hobby and professional bloggers. I don’t mean to say that the quality has to be any less for the hobby blogger. But I do think the goals are different.
Thanks for the comments and thoughts.
Hey Big Roy,
That’s what usually happens. Bloggers talk about what things that don’t seem right and then all of the sudden, you find yourself with a new friend. 🙂