21 Comments to “Bloggy Question 40: Um er . . . Your Enthusiasm Is Killing Our Ebook”

1. March 11th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
   Adam Kayce said

   How do I respond?

   Gingerly.

   We’ve been friends a lot longer than we’ve been in business, so a hearty phone conversation has got to be first and foremost. But my intention wouldn’t be primarily be on me… it’d be on him.

   “What’s going on for you? Are you getting nervous? Something bothering you?” Because it’s pretty clear he’s responding to some fear or anxiety which is making him get “grabby,” and if that can be resolved, he can find his balance again, and get back on track with the strategy that brought us here.

   As I see it, it’s an inner issue, not a “strategy” issue, per se.

   And if our friendship has been strong enough to get us this far, it can stand some honest inquiry, and we’ll find a solution together.

2. March 11th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
   ME Strauss said

   Hi Adam!
   What a pleasure to see you! Boy I love your use of words, especially “grabby.” That’s a friend’s way of thinking — so much nicer than ‘greedy.”

   It most likely is an issue about the person, not the strategy. He’s gotten into a “self-promoting” mode that’s turning people away. That almost always is caused by looking in the wrong direction.

   You sound like a friend someone would be lucky to have.

   You’re not a stranger here anymore, Adam.

3. March 11th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
   Karma said

   My experience says never go into business with long time friends. But since the endeavor cannot be undone by hitting the undo button, I would suggest a good arbitration meeting with an unbiased third party.

   Also, I would ask the question, How highly do you value a friendship? Maybe the friendship wasn’t as strong as first thought. If that’s the case, cut your losses. If that sounds harsh, it is just life.

4. March 11th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
   ME Strauss said

   Karma,
   I’m not sure that the guy is aware that he’s gone over the edge. Wouldn’t you want to check that part out first?

   I agree with the idea of avoiding business endeavors with friends . . . It works out better if you do business and become friends after.

5. March 11th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
   Karma said

   Liz you are so right. A friend would sit down with a friend and try to find out what is really going on.

   You and Adam say it best.

6. March 11th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
   ME Strauss said

   Karma,
   I think a point comes at which your answer is the only one. It’s not harsh then, it’s become reality. I find it is always good to have a realist on my team. Thank you for keeping our eye on what might be happening.

7. March 11th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
   Chris Cree said

   I think I’d give him some version of a “Dude! You’re embarrassing yourself.” speech.

   I don’t believe in letting my friends walk around with broccoli in their teeth, toilet paper on their shoes, or their flies down.

   I’d talk with him quietly, privately on the side. Try to find out what he’s thinking on the book thing, where he’s coming from.

8. March 11th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
   ME Strauss said

   Hey, Chris, It’s good trait you have there. It makes it one more reason that folks want to be your friend.

   Suppose he says he’s just pitching the book and that you should be too?

9. March 11th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
   Martin said

   Nice blogging question, Liz.

   This is a very tough one. Long time friends into business partners…

   If you’re a real friend then you’ll have to take the risk of losing that friendship by bringing to your friends attention whats happening.

   Better to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later.

   If it’s true friendship it should survive - either way you’ve done good by your friend.

10. March 11th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Martin!
    It’s a tricky one, isn’t it? One man’s idea of promoting a book is another’s idea of going overboard.

    Yeah, I’d be quiet for a time, but sooner or later, I’d have to say something, especially if I realized other folks were saying things.

11. March 11th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
    Martin said

    Definitely if other folks were saying things - that’s where true friendship should overshadow any business relationship.

    I know from my pov, I’d expect my friends to look out for me in this way just as I would them.

12. March 11th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
    Meikah Delid said

    Yes, like Cree, I’d tell my friend, too, about what’s happening. That’s what friends are for, right?

13. March 11th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Yeah, Martin,
    But when some folks change you sometimes wonder whether they want to listen. It would stop me from telling them what people are seeing. The scary would be whether they care.

14. March 11th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Meikah Delid,
    Yep that’s what friends are for. Though they’re not always appreciated.

15. March 11th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
    Martin said

    Well Liz, it becomes more simple in my view.

    If they’ve changed so much that they might not even want to listen or care, then it turns more into business area - more so if it’s affecting you professionally.

    Because “not caring” would pretty much put a hold on the friendship.

    … btw, you still serving them nachos?

16. March 12th, 2007 at 12:08 am
    ME Strauss said

    Always got nachos for you, Martin.

    And I agree once the other guy stops listening and caring. There is no friendship to worry about. Time to pull the plug.

17. March 12th, 2007 at 12:48 am
    Rodney Rumford said

    do a one off “Come to Jesus” talk with your friend and express your concerns. Help them see the light. There is a dark side to self promotion and it is easy for people that have not had the limelite before to get seduced by the attention.

    Tell them if the want credibility and the limelite the best road to take is “the high road” and just do what they do best. Self promotion will tend to turn most people off (his previously loyal readers) and ultimately it hurts them. The are damaging their “BRAND NAME”. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way. Damaing your brand for minor sales of an ebook that makes nominal money is just not smart business. Remind them not to cheapen, damage or sell their brands for shinybeads (ebook revenue).

    Without knowing the specifics about the situation it is hard to tell you more. I wish you the best.

18. March 12th, 2007 at 6:16 am
    Chris Cree said

    Liz, I guess I’d start with the facts. Old comment counts vs new comment counts, ask him for old traffic numbers vs current traffic, etc. Talk about it with him to see if he’s right. It’s always possible I’m being hyper sensitive.

    Then regardless of the numbers, I’d start talking about my attitude towards his approach. Since he’s my friend he’ll expect me to speak my mind and share my opinions (that’s how I am).

    Finally, as Rodney points out, we’re not talking about a big deal in the scheme of things. As long as he stays simply obnoxious and doesn’t cross the line into unethical stuff to promote the book, I’m OK. I’ll give him permission to be wrong.

19. March 12th, 2007 at 6:47 am
    Robyn McMaster said

    Guess I’d take another whole approach to this. Since you’ve done so well, I’d publish and more up-to-date ebook on my own and get it rolling. No doubt it would surpass the first and would free up up from something that’s causing you lots of stress…and that’s simply not good.

20. March 25th, 2007 at 12:25 am
    Whoa said

    Friendship comes first. Bearing in mind that i know him/her, i would touch the subject politely trying to get why this is happening, what’s his/her reasoning behind this behavior. Then i would try to see things from his/her shoes and try to get to a point where both ideas (mine and his/hers) meet.

21. March 25th, 2007 at 12:38 am
    ME Strauss said

    I think I’d end up making a deal with Charlie. Something on a time line that would allow his method to have room for action without me having to watch over him. Hopefully that would fly.