Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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October 2, 2007

Personal Identity: ROI of Behavior in Business and Life

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 4:47 am

Identity and Relationships

relationships button

I read this on John Henry Clippinger’s blog for his book, A Crowd of One. Clippinger was quoting David Brooks.

Even David Brooks – conservative U of Chicago grad -in a recent editorial in the New York Times – acknowledges – begrudgingly that a new narrative is in the making..

“The logic of evolution explains why people vie for status, form groups, fall in love and cherish their young. It holds that most everything that exists does so for a purpose. If some trait, like emotion, can cause big problems, then it must also provide bigger benefits, because nature will not expend energy on things that don’t enhance the chance of survival.

Nature doesn’t do things that don’t pay off.

People don’t either.

Yet the payoffs we go for don’t always enhance our chance of survival. Think of these people

  • Stevie who stays in a bad job because she thinks that no one else will hire her.
  • Tyrone who shuns a formal resume when going for a job he needs
  • Wally who tweaks the blog all day rather than trying to contact potential clients.
  • Gerald who is cranky and complaining and treats most people — those who work for him, those who sell to him, and his customers — as if they are stupid
  • Dot who says “I’m too ____ to learn how to do that” though she is brilliant.

    • All of these “example people” seem involved in behaviors that are keeping them stuck in less than ideal situations. Yet, in every human action we realize some return on how we invest ourselves and our time.

    What payoffs do you see in these situations? How might you convince one to look for a stronger investment — one that will give them a positive return?

    –ME “Liz” Strauss
    Check out the Work with Liz!! page in the sidebar.

    Related
    About that Word, Brand, that Keeps Coming Up
    Finding Your Frequency in Business and in Life
    See the Successful Series page Brand You Series.





    Filed under Inside-Out Thinking, Successful Blog | 18 Comments »




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    18 Comments to “Personal Identity: ROI of Behavior in Business and Life”

    1. October 2nd, 2007 at 6:33 am
      Brad Shorr said

      Hi Liz – When we become apathetic or prisoners of a negative mindset, we simply drift. Maybe the first step is to ask a person in this situation, “What do you want out of your career? What’s going to make you happy five years from now?” One thing I’ve learned, if you go down this road with someone, don’t ask this type of question and disappear. You need to offer steady encouragement.

    2. October 2nd, 2007 at 6:48 am
      ME Strauss said

      Hi Brad!
      Steady encouragement (sometimes in the form of a kick in the pants) is a real tool for helping folks get unstuck.

    3. October 2nd, 2007 at 6:53 am
      Brad Shorr said

      Agreed! But Liz, how do you know whether a person needs a kick in the pants or a hug?

    4. October 2nd, 2007 at 6:56 am
      ME Strauss said

      Hi Brad,
      This answer is totally serious. I usually ask which one works for them.

    5. October 2nd, 2007 at 7:01 am
      Brad Shorr said

      That’s interesting, and a good idea based on my personal experience. When I get stuck in a rut, I’ll act in a way (not intentionally) that leads people to treat me gently, but what I really need is a kick in the pants. And if anybody asked me, I’d say so. It’s a simple question that people tend not to ask, don’t you think?

    6. October 2nd, 2007 at 7:25 am
      ME Strauss said

      Yeah, Brad,
      Most folks don’t ask the obvious questions. But anyone who’s had the experience of hugging a non-hugger learns to ask quickly after that. :)

    7. October 2nd, 2007 at 7:54 am
      Alina Popescu said

      Hi Liz,

      Interesting question. All you can do is be there and try to show reality as you and others see it. Try to think of pros and cons and have enough patience until that person realizes they need to change something. From my experience, those really close to you need both the kick and the hug :P

    8. October 2nd, 2007 at 7:57 am
      ME Strauss said

      Hi Alina!
      Some need both the kick and hug AND a bucket of water over their heads ?)

    9. October 2nd, 2007 at 7:59 am
      Alina Popescu said

      Yeah, that too, sometimes :)

    10. October 2nd, 2007 at 9:35 am
      Scorpia said

      It comes down to fear, Liz. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of taking a risk with something unknown. Fear of appearing foolish.

      You can’t help such people with logic; this is an emotional thing.

      There’s a saying: “Better the devil you know than the one you don’t”. All the above examples fit that.

    11. October 2nd, 2007 at 10:18 am
      ME Strauss said

      Hi Scorpia!
      I know what you mean, FEAR motivates us to stay and to move. “What if I move, and it’s even worse there?” That’s the fear in every case above, I think.

      Safety and proof it are the only answer, I guess. :)

    12. October 2nd, 2007 at 2:37 pm
      Mighty Blogger - Today’s Top Blog Posts on Blogging - Powered by SocialRank said

      [...] Personal Identity: ROI of Behavior in Business and Life [...]

    13. October 3rd, 2007 at 7:38 am
      Karin H. said

      What payoffs do you see in these situations?

      I might put ‘my foot’ in here, but the payoff I see mostly in these ‘people’:
      Taking the easy way out.

      When you stay in the same job, or in the same mentality then you don’t have to invest in changing yourself.

      Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)

    14. October 3rd, 2007 at 8:52 am
      ME Strauss said

      Hi Karin!
      Some folks are looking for an “easy.” Some folks are worried about losing what little they have, I think. It’s sad really.

      Change has a different effect on different people. The difference is probably a function of self-worth, I’m guessing.

    15. October 3rd, 2007 at 9:02 am
      Jonathan Fields said

      Fear of failure…but it goes deeper. It’s one thing to try and fail at something when you don’t really give it your all. I makes the failure easier to tolerate and explain away.

      But, when you do give it your all, when you try your hardest, expose your authentic self…and then still fail, now that’s a tough pill to swallow. And, I believe it’s what underlies many peoples’ seeming unwillingness to take that final step to truly put themselves on the line.

      We all want a fallback. We want to be able to say, “okay, so it failed, but I didn’t really give it everything, so it’s not my capital-S Self who was judged a failure, but more just the effort that failed.” Giving ouselves the option to spin failure this way makes not stepping up to the plate easier, but it also keeps genuine opportunity for change eternally buried.

      Authentic success comes from authentic risk. And, that scares the ____ out of most people. But, for those who are willing to take it on…look out world!

    16. October 3rd, 2007 at 9:49 am
      Mike said

      Hi Liz,

      I think Jonathan very eloquently states what I was thinking. We want that comfort of a safety net (even though there really isn’t one, so why not go for it!).

      Mike

    17. October 3rd, 2007 at 9:56 am
      ME Strauss said

      Hi Jonathan!
      Damn the torpedoes! Yeah, Steve Farber calls it an Extreme Leadership OS!M . . . Oh ___! Moment. He says if you’re not feeling that regularly, that you’re not an extrreme leader. I know that thought has been a comfort to me over the past months. . . .

      Being scared can be thrilling, but it’s not my preferred style. :)

    18. October 3rd, 2007 at 10:16 am
      ME Strauss said

      Hi Mike,
      I don’t want your “safety net” reference to slide “under the radar.” You are so right. There’s no such thing as job security, no life security for that matter . . . so why no go for it!

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