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March 3, 2007

The Road: A Simple 4-Part Psychological Survey of Attitudes

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 10:40 am

You’re on a Road

When I was 26, I went out to dinner with a highly respected psychologist. Over a glass of wine, while waiting for our table, we discussed conversations people have, when they get to know each other.

He asked my permission to share a “psychological survey,” saying that he would explain what it meant after I gave four descriptions. Being of an age and in my “take any challenge phase,” I agreed. Here are the four “questions” my PhD friend asked.

  1. You’re walking on a road. It’s your road. Tell me about it.
  2. As you walk, you pass a body of water, describe it.
  3. Directly in your path is an empty bottle. What’s your response to it?
  4. You continue until you find yourself facing a wall that crosses your road perpendicularly. What do you do?

NOTE: If you want to answer for yourself, now is the time. My answers and the interpretation come next.

Roger, Ann, Wendy, Robert, Lisa, and Valeria, if we were out dinner I ask you to play along by describing your road to me. You’ve just been virtually tagged with, what has been, a real-life meme.

I’m Walking on My Road

What follows is the conversation as best I remember. The memory is clear because I’ve shared this story so many times.

PhD: You’re walking on a road. It’s your road. Tell me about it.

ME: It’s a country road — blacktop in parts, dirt in others — with a 2-foot shoulder, but there’s plenty of room to pull off to go exploring, if you want to. On both sides of the road there are trees, but on one side, a break in the trees sometimes lets you see all the way to forever. The grass by the road is populated with colorful wildflowers.

The skies are glorious with clouds and color. The sun shines on the road most days. It only rains when it needs to. Then the sky turns dark, dark gray– a color that turns leaves that bright, special of shade of yellow-green that makes trees seem more than three-dimensional.

PhD: As you walk, you pass a body of water, describe it.

ME: It’s a lake. It’s still. It goes far deeper than people think. There’s a dock with rowboat, and the water is clear and reflective blue-black in the moonlight. It’s the kind of water you would want to go skinny dipping in.

PhD: Directly in your path is an empty bottle. What’s your response to it?

ME: Pick it up and set it gently alongside the edge of the road.

PhD: You continue until you find yourself facing a wall that crosses your road perpendicularly. What do you do?

ME: Climb it, of course.

My PhD friend told me what his answers were the first time that he heard this little test. Then he explained what each part is supposed to tell about. He said it’s a survey of attitudes.

    The road is your attitude about life. A man I know described his life as interstate highway with a car wreck. That also described his real life.

    The body of water is your attitude toward feelings, intimacy, and sex. The same guy, no kidding, said his body of water was a stagnant pool.

    The bottle is your attitude toward other people. The choice is to move it or leave it alone. The man I’ve been talking about walked around the bottle.

    The wall is your attitude toward problems. The highway-walking, stagnant-pool, avoid-the-bottle guy said, “Turn around and go back. There could be guys with guns on the other side.” I’m not making this up. He really said that.

Of course, this isn’t a scientific test, and no valid truth can be assumed from it. Yet, I’ve shared this “real-life meme” hundreds of times since that dinner — with people I know well and people I just met. No one has ever said the interpretation didn’t ring true — even the stagnan-pool guy, said it was “on the money.”

I share it here because, it’s a great conversation starter. It works in most any group. Also I’m interested in how you would answer. That’s why I went first, thinking maybe you might go second, or third or . . . twenty-seventh . . .

–ME “Liz” Strauss

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19 Comments to “The Road: A Simple 4-Part Psychological Survey of Attitudes”

  1. March 3rd, 2007 at 11:20 am
    ann michael said

    My road goes through a city. There are office buildings, funky stores, and quaint cafés. There are tons of people going in every different direction and stopping along the way to spend some time with people they meet, to take in their surroundings, check out a shop, or get a cappuccino (my road, of course, has many coffee options!). The architecture is eclectic - century old ornate buildings and churches and glass towers. There are statues and murals. Wifi is available everywhere.

    The water is a tall fountain with a statue in the middle of it. People are sitting around it and eating lunch, talking, taking in the sun, reading, or on their computers (remember the wifi).

    I pick up the bottle and throw it away. There are tons of trash cans available. I can’t believe someone just left a bottle on the road!

    The wall has a door in it. You can’t see it right away, but it’s there. I walk through.

    (that was fun!)

  2. March 3rd, 2007 at 11:26 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Ann,
    I really like your road. It sounds like a vacation to me. No wonder I like to come visit you! :)

  3. March 3rd, 2007 at 11:35 am
    Valeria Maltoni said

    Hi Liz:

    I had heard about this story. In Europe there are many more of these kinds of conversations than here.

    1. On the road, which is a tranquil and green path flanked by cypress trees, I am with my mother and we’re talking about life (funny, yes?)

    2. It’s a river that runs calm and clear at points, and deeper and faster and others, carving the rocks and stones smooth and splashing on the banks in the twinkle of the sunlight.

    3. I pick up the bottle and carry it until I can deliver it to a safe place.

    4. The wall is only wide enough to walk around it without losing our path. It has beautiful bricks and some flowers have sprouted from the grout.

    Sometimes life is nonlinear, and what may seem a temporary obstacle becomes the defining event what for what comes next.

    It’s good to be comfortable walking alone; it’s also a wonderful feeling to know that what you bring with you (mother in my case) contributes to the richness of your experience.

    I prefer to leave a place and a person in a better condition than I found them, whatever that ends up being. And often I end up walking in the company of giants who had momentarily forgotten where to go next…

  4. March 3rd, 2007 at 11:49 am
    ME Strauss said

    Oh Valeria,
    What beautiful road. What a beautiful comment. So much wisdom, thought, and insight. You make me long to visit the town of my grandmother. She and I were walking with you just for a second there. That was my dad who went by on the bike. :)

  5. March 3rd, 2007 at 6:06 pm
    Lisa said

    Hi everyone,
    Valeria and Ann, such incredible responses. I was walking on the beach today with my son and suddenly I had an idea about this meme. When he was younger, I used to make up little pedagogical tales at bedtime to help him “feel through” the challenges of his day.

    Since I’m having trouble figuring out the trackback thing in Squarespace, my response is on my site.

    Turn this real life meme into a writing exercise

    Thanks for your lovely self, Liz.

  6. March 3rd, 2007 at 6:11 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Lisa!
    I’m coing over to see where you’re going with this. :)

  7. March 3rd, 2007 at 6:11 pm
    Lisa said

    Hey, did you do that liz???

    Yeah, Lisa, I added the link for you. :)

  8. March 3rd, 2007 at 6:15 pm
    irishlass said

    Hi Liz

    Maybe you could remove the photo. Because I was looking at it while reading the question I was influenced. I did however bolt over the wall like a marine in boot camp. ;^D

  9. March 3rd, 2007 at 6:19 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Irishlass,
    Good idea. I will. Thank you for telling me. Sorry I influenced you. :(

  10. March 3rd, 2007 at 6:25 pm
    irishlass said

    no worries. ;^D

  11. March 3rd, 2007 at 6:34 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Yeah, Irish lass!
    I would suppose you did okay if you bolted over the wall. :)

  12. March 3rd, 2007 at 7:11 pm
    Roger von Oech said

    What a day! My wife’s birthday, and 75 degree sunny clear weather. Lunch with the kids. Presents later.

    ————————–

    As to your question:

    1. My road: It sure varies a lot. Sometimes I can’t see around the corner, and sometimes I can all the way out to the horizon where the plain meets the sky. Sometimes it’s undulating and sometimes flat. Sometimes there are trees and wheat fields on the sides, and sometimes cheering fans, and sometimes buildings.

    2. It’s a big lake, and I take off my clothes and swim around in it. The sun is shining and it’s two in the afternoon with big cumulus clouds.

    3. The bottle. There’s note accompanying the bottle that says, “Prick your finger and let a few drops fall into the bottle. Then seal it.” I do so, and keep walking. About a mile later there’s another bottle that says, “You’ve been selected to be a semen donor. . . . ” I keep walking and every few miles there are more and more empty bottles with notes attached to them. Sometimes I follow the instructions, sometimes I improvise, and sometimes I do nothing.

    4. A wall. I try going around, and lo and behold, I discover a different route, this time a river. There’s a canoe there so I get in and start paddling.

    Fun exercise! Thanks for the virtual tag.

  13. March 3rd, 2007 at 9:21 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Roger,
    Thanks for the virtual answer. I should have know it would have me thinking more than the original questions did. Wow! You have an interesting life. Dont you? :)

  14. March 4th, 2007 at 9:28 am
    About that Road . . . - Liz Strauss at Successful Blog - Thinking, writing, business ideas . . . You’re only a stranger once. said

    […] As soon as I saw Robert’s post I was reminded of a silly psychological test that asks for four descriptions. (You might want to read that test, to find out about your road and my road, before you read on. Go ahead, I’ll wait here.) […]

  15. March 5th, 2007 at 6:48 am
    What, On the Road, Again? | Middle Zone Musings said

    […] Said What… What, On the Road, Again? | Middle Zone Musings on The Roads Not TraveledThe Road: A Simple 4-Part Psychological Survey of Attitudes - Liz Straussat Successful Blog - Thinking, writing, business ideas . . . You’re only a stranger once. on The Roads Not TraveledBob on Welcome! Come on in…Terry Starbucker on Welcome! Come on in…Bob on Welcome! Come on in… […]

  16. March 7th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
    Where Does Your Road Lead? « LivingLeadership said

    […] Lisa Gates of Design Your Writing Life posted it as a Writing Exercise and urged me to create my rendition. Lisa writes a story about her road, and leaves it for you to interpret as you wish (right-brain, creative) She borrowed the idea from Liz Strauss of Successful Blog, who had originally posted it as a Psychological Survey of Attitudes.  Liz lists her answers and gives some explanation to the interpretation (left-brain, analytical). Ah, I can already see where my story is headed. Come on and join me as I take a walk down my road… […]

  17. March 8th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
    C. B. Whittemore said

    Liz, what a wonderful story, and what a great way to generate discussion. Thanks so much for sharing it and your response.

  18. March 8th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi CB!
    That story is a great way to get to know people. We like to get to know each other around here. :)

    Thanks for your comment. You’re not a stranger. ;)

  19. March 23rd, 2007 at 2:52 pm
    Where Does Your Road Lead? (continued) « LivingLeadership said

    […] Below, in italics, I’ve copied the original exercise for this post from Liz Strauss’ Successful Blog. One thing that very much surprised me in the responses to her post was that most people when confronted with the wall at the end chose to veer off the road, stop or even turn around and go back. I’m guessing it shows that some either a) don’t read with comprehension or b) aren’t used to taking ownership of their own direction in life. […]

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