Adjust Your Senses!
I’ve been wondering, watching Internet relationships — how they are virtually the same and different from those in the real world. I’ve found patterns behaviors and looked through my experience to see whether those patterns hold up when I test them out.
My conclusion is that folks bring behaviors to the virtual world that don’t always make sense here. We do the human thing of continuing what we feel has worked for us before — without considering whether, in this new situation, it’s still the sensible thing to do.
Some foolish folks are getting this Internet thing wrong. That’s dangerous and annoying.
Read on if you are one of them. Better yet, read on anyway, we never know when a wave of foolishness has taken over us.
Here are the 5 senses that folks need to adjust to stop being dangerous and annoying the Blogosphere.
- Sense of Security Living online is more complicated than living in a real-world community. People here haven’t agreed to one single set of laws. The people can more easily falsify who they are, where they are, whose picture we see. If someone pulls a “fast one,” what you believe and have learned to be your legal right probably won’t mean a thing in this “world with no border.” Either way, it will probably be too expensive to enforce. If you know that, you’ll be more secure.
- Sense of Reality I can route my calls through Montana and answer them in Madagascar. I could be 93. You won’t know for certain until we meet. Most importantly, unless you have and have verified my street address, if I go offline, it’s possible you’ll never find me. On the other hand, you might find people who can trace back to my IP and the route my computer took to get to your to your computer’s door.
- Sense of Privacy Sitting at home locked in safe doesn’t make what we say secret. Writing in the middle of the night alone can feel personal and private. Remember the Internet is public and always open — forever. There is no eraser. In times of high emotion, stress, or other serious consequence, type into a word processor not your blog. Anything can wait 24 hours.
- Sense of Entitlement The woo of a “free” Internet can make us think everyone should serve up what we want — get over that. Re-read the story of “The Golden Goose” again. Or to put it another way, everyone has their own. It’s annoying to be asked or to be told to fulfill a request by folks who can’t bother to be polite or finish a sentence. First impressions last and last . . . and often are the last some folks will want to know of you.
- Sense of Humor Words in text don’t have the same context as words shared verbally. Tone is implied and easily goes askew. Here where many cultures meet, sensitivity means we use humor carefully. Make sure that everyone knows when you’re going for a laugh. It’s sad to say something seriously not funny when it was intended to be.
These five senses are critical to a successful experience in the Blogosphere. What other sense can you add to the list to make the Internet less dangerous and less annoying?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!
Hi Liz
You are a good teacher!
How about sense of perspective: not getting carried away by diggs and hits and stumbles – it doesn’t suddenly make us superstars, the tide can drift away again (Chris Brogan had a good post on this the other day
http://chrisbrogan.com/the-effects-of-digg-on-my-blog/). Likewise when people aren’t stopping by so much it doesn’t mean they’ve stopped being interested or stopped reading – maybe there’s other things going on like work, their own blogs, real life even…
How do we stop ourselves getting overly up or down about these drifts and tides… I don’t know – keep focused on your blogging purpose? Be grateful for the good stuff – but keep your feet on the ground?
Joanna
Hi Joanna,
I really like the Sense of Perspective notion. I’ve been through the highs and lows. You’re right about preserving the focus on our purpose; I just wish it wasn’t so hard sometimes. 😉
Mike
P.S. Liz, I guess I’d better stop with the russian mafia custom Klondike routine…
Hi Joanna!
A sense of perspective! I like that too. It’s so hard, especially when we know each other by name, not to notice when one of us goes missing for a long while — not to wonder whether we’re the cause . . . because it has to be about US doesn’t it?? [grin]
No ME in perspective. Every morning, I try to remember it’s not really my blog. 🙂
Hi Mike!
I think you do a great service at helping us all keep our perspective. I also think that folks know when you are playing. . . 🙂
Whew! That’s a relief.
I really enjoy the cautionary notes in this post, especially the “it’s out there, forever, for all to see” part…
Make it a marvelously beautiful day!
Mike
Hey Mike!
I sure am trying at that marvelous day thing. 🙂
Hi Liz! I was going to add “Sense of Propriety”, but I think you covered it already. Besides, I don’t think I have any, anyway! 😀
“Sense of Humor” was something I was quite cautious about at the beginning, having taught ESL classes for a while. It’s amazing how humor can be both universal and untranslatable! I found out it’s mainly dependent on a cultural context. Keep THAT universal, and you’re OK.
Hey, how about a Sense of Community? We have to understand that what we do has an eventual affect on everyone else in the blogosphere (and possibly even beyond, for that matter). If we choose to be “bad”… we all get the blame. Likewise, if we choose to be “good”, then the community as a whole gets uplifted as well.
Hi Mike and Robert (and Liz!)
Definitely some sense of community going on between here and the Middle Zone – just been talking to you both over there!
Now I’ve thought of another one – how about sense of the absurd?
Joanna
perhaps a sense of warmth and aroma – i am told my recipes from the heart section make folks hungry and that the stories remind them of their own foodie memories??
I also agree completely with the sense of community – being a good citizen and all – the ever present liz-ism – be nice!!
I also appreciate the reminder that words are there forever – it’s easy to express in the moment and then think oops maybe i should have not published that
Mother Earth
http://www.bestwellnessconsultant.com
Well said Liz,
The topic of online etiquette is becoming much more popular, especially with the explosion of social media networks. Some people are polite and pleasant while others can be very demanding rude, I tend to ignore the latter.
Thanks for the thought-provoking tips about privacy, sometimes it’s easy to forget just how public our online activities are.
Hmmm. I’m not sure what to add. I guess I just echo your sentiments about how to refrain from ranting when emotion is high. It seems that negative emotion comes through much stronger than the writer had intended.
I’d be curious to know if there was a backstory to this post that prompted you to write or if this is just a long time in the making.
Hi Robert!
Sense of community! Gosh I remember when you wondered about that . . . now you have a thriving one of your own! YEA! for you! Community is something we have to serve and protect. 🙂
Joanna!
I love your sense of the absurd. It surely fits around here and in many ways describes all of us in the blogosphere. 🙂
Mother Earth,
Every tidbit of what you describe sounds so delicious and worth sharing. Sharing is the value worth keeping that you’re getting to isn’t it?1! 🙂
Hi Alez!
You betcha! I have sure experienced both extremes! I have stories that could be describing situations in which young men (yes they were all guys) took rudeness to an art form. It was sad really.
Hi Sully!
No, no back story really. This morning when I wrote this I coud have told you what inspired it, but I don’t really remember now. Oh wait, yes I do, it was watching someone comment who forgot that lots of folks not in the comment thread were also reading. 🙂
I think the the most useful way to make the Internet not dangerous is trust others. Only when people trust each other, things will go safely.
Hi Clark!
Trust is a powerful catalyst. If we trust and verify, we are strong. If we trust with a blind eye, it’s likely that we will be wrong, at least once . . . tragically. That would be sad.
You should re-publish this list every three months.
Hi Roger!
Thank you!
sense of civility
gp in montana 🙂
it IS the sharing — your absolutely right on Liz – it’s the most satisfying thing, and when you actually have something to share that is worthwhile and it makes someone smile or HUNGRY ( because as you say it’s delicious )
then it is really worth it
Mother Earth
http://www.bestwellnessconsultant.com
Hi Liz! Great list (yours and the other contributions to the initial one) that we all should keep in mind. Because sometimes, when our virtual and real life are so interconnected, getting carried aways is really easy. About tracking a route…well, yes, it can sometimes happen. But not always! And as we all know there is no such thing as full proof security, trusting our sense is sometimes the best protection we’ll ever have.
Ah GP!
I think those horses have taught you to communicate in only a word or two. You do that so well.
Sense of civility. Yes. 🙂
Hi Mother Earth,
You make me think of the word satisfying. It’s a gift to feel satisfied in a genuine way. Wonderful food, wonderful ideas, a wonderful story fills us with a sense of life that has a completeness we don’t often get to feel . . . you provide that with a great meal. 🙂
Hi Alina!
You’re right we need to understand that people act differently when they don’t have to look other people in the eye or meet them on the street. Not everyone does so in a big or untrustworthy way, but we take more personal risks and say things that we might not say. 🙂
Common Sense? How do you teach that?
Sixth Sense 😉
Sense of a Shared Experience.
Grazie mille, Liz, Robert, Alex, Joanna, Mother Earth, Agent Sully, Roger, Alina, gp, et al. Always inspirational
Hi Valeria!
I’m so tempted to say, “with a baseball bat.” (You know a good game of . . . ) Just kidding. 🙂
I would definitely have to agree with Valeria, common sense is the most important yet the most elusive sense of all.
Beau
Yeah, Beau,
If only we could teach common sense . . . think of how much less stress there would be. 🙂
Hey Liz, what about a sense of ‘genuinety’?
Since a) there are so many bloggers/Internet users out there, and since b) Internet allows not to show ourselves completely, why not take this opportunity to allow ourselves being truly ourselves – being genuine in other words?
As Nietzsche wrote, “become who you are”!