Successful Blog

Self Improvement for Dummies

by

Are you in self improvement hyperdrive at the end of 2017?

Have you bought a new planner, gone over your successes and failures from this year, anxious to do better in 2018?

Once the champagne from New Year’s Eve is digested, you’ll be an energetic, resolution-achieving machine.

Or not.

Or maybe just through Februaryish.

I have a radical suggestion.

Let’s take a break from self improvement, just for a little while.

First of all, you’re beautiful just the way you are. Second, constant focus on self improvement is actually constant focus on yourself. It might be nice to turn that gaze outward once in a while. Third, how much disposable income have you spent on books, courses, athletic gear, bullet journals, etc.?

I’m not suggesting that we’re all perfect. I’m just saying let’s take a brief breather from calling ourselves names (fat, lazy, dummy) and just enjoy life. Every time you buy one of those books “for Dummies,” you’re shredding a tiny piece of your soul.

It’s good to aspire to be better, but when it manifests as constant self criticism, it’s not healthy.

My idea is that we all take the first quarter of 2018 and be a source of joy to others. That’s it. The more joy you spread, the more you’ve achieved.

If I catch you surfing Amazon right now, looking for a book about “how to spread joy,” you’re in big trouble.

Just live. No diet, no crazy exercise regime, no elaborate resolutions.

You can still set up goals for your business and plan your fiscal year. That’s outward-focused activity that’s fruitful. What I’m calling “time” on is the idea that you can’t eat a piece of chocolate cake without feeling guilty. Go ahead and make a chocolate cake for someone else as a surprise, and have a slice with them.

Make your children happy by playing tag with them instead of hopping on the treadmill.

That’s your task. Spread joy for Q1. I’ll bet we all love it so much that we forget to make resolutions for Q2.

What do you think, are you on board?

 

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Author’s Bio: Rosemary O’Neill is an insightful spirit who works for Social Strata — makers of the Hoop.la community platform. Check out the Social Strata blog. You can find Rosemary on Google+ and on Twitter as @rhogroupee

Every moment is January 1.

by

A Guest Post by
Rosemary O’Neill

cooltext443809558_authenticity

It’s the end of the first week of January. Did you already start slipping on some of those resolutions? Well quit beating yourself up, you’re not alone. The mystical pull of January 1 gets us every year. We take deep breaths, ponder the future, and muster up the guts to make some decisions about our lives and our businesses. And then….life happens.

Here’s the most important trick: Every morning is January 1. Every moment is January 1. You can make a decision right this very second to take action on one of your primary goals. In fact, stop reading this right now and go do one thing that will get you closer. Send that email, follow up with that customer, finish that report, call your grandmother. We’ll wait.

……….if you’re back, then you did your one action, right? If you didn’t, go away and do it now!

…and…see how easy that was? Now keep the momentum going by allowing yourself to have space in the day (or evening) to proactively plan the next day, week, month, in increments you can handle. If you want to wake up on December 31, 2012, having accomplished something big, then you need to chip away at it all year long. And you need to have periodic check-ins with yourself so that you can course-correct if necessary.

I’ll share my check-in secret sauce. It’s a hot pink Moleskine that goes everywhere with me. In the front are the big goals for the year, and then broken-down goals for each month that will draw me closer and closer throughout the year. There is no one-size-fits-all method, but the key is to avoid drifting.

Now go and take the second step. And write down what the third, fourth, and fifth steps will look like.

Feel free to brag about your audacious action in the comments. We’ll do this together.

_____

Author’s Bio: Rosemary O’Neill is an insightful spirit who works for social strata — a top ten company to work for on the Internet . Check out their blog. You can find her on Google+ and on Twitter as @rhogroupee

Thank you, Rosemary!

You’re irresistible!

ME “Liz” Strauss

New Year’s Resolutions, No! How to Make Positive Changes that Have Meaning and Stick

by

Never Made One Yet

Finding Ideas Outside of the Box logo 2

The first time I encountered the term, New Year’s Resolution, was in the comic strip, Peanuts, by Charles M. Shultz. I was 8, maybe 9, years old, and Peanuts was the top comic in the Chicago Tribune. As I went through the comic strips that day, making resolutions was a recurring theme in them.

I found the idea of New Year’s Resolutions curious, and I wondered why I’d never heard of them. I sought out the only available expert I knew. I asked my mom.

My mom answered, “Because most folks make resolutions and forget them the very next day. That’s just not how most people change.”

I can still tap into the relief I felt when she said that. My imagination had made this ferocious picture of what a resolution was. I had seen myself climbing into a splintery, wooden shipping crate labeled “FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH NO HOPE OF EVER GETTING OUT.”

Thanks to that conversation about New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve never made made one yet.

New Year’s Resolutions a New Approach

On Open Comment Night December 5th, the subject of New Year’s Resolutions came up. We agreed that they don’t work as a list. Christine Kane explained her approach was to choose a word. Ben took that idea back as the Absolute Best Way and described it on his Instigator Blog.

Boy, I sure like their ideas a lot!

But I need more than that to execute — if I want to make a positive change that will stay with me. So if Ben and Christine don’t mind, I’m going to expand on the spirit of their ideas, knowing they already “get” it.

How to Make Positive Changes that Have Meaning and Stick

Changing habits is hard to do. The hard part is getting the new ones to stick. It’s easier when we approach our habits the way we approach our tasks and our skills — knowing our goal, not taking on too much, and making use of the “do over” rule when we need it.

Here’s how to make your positive changes stick.

  1. Choose one thing to change. One thing done is always better than 12 things started. If you’re working on gratitude, you might narrow it to saying thank you and meaning it. If you’re working on snacking you might replace one snack food with a healthful one or one time that you snack with another activity.

  2. Write your choice down and define it as an objective. I will say thank you out loud and give a brief reason for my gratitude when folks do things simple for me, such as listen to my ideas, and I’ll note their response. Now you know it is that you’re going for and you’ve got a clear objective.

  3. Make it measurable and make a measurement goal that increases. The measure can be simple. It might be how many smiles a day you get. Without a measure though, a goal is easy to lose track of or forget. How will you know if you’re getting better without a measurement?

  4. Check in at the end of the day to see how you did. Record your measurement and compare it to yesterday. Plan for tomorrow, but don’t think about next year — that’s a lifetime away.

    Forgive yourself when you slip or have a bad day. Everyone does that. Don’t give up — with that response no one ever would learn to bicycle, skate, or be a leader in any sense. Pick up where you left off, knowing the practice you already have will make the forward momentum that much easier.

    Celebrate your successes when you have a great day. When you live up to the change you are going for, let yourself know that by doing something really cool with a friend, taking in a great movie, CD, or book, or whatever else feels like a reward.

  5. When the change is fully a part of you, go on back to choose another positive to add to what you do.

Changing habits is like taking on new skills. We need to make room to learn, see progress, dust off our mistakes, and celebrate our successes. We’ve been doing that since we went to school. It’s what learning is.

Take a word from Christine and Ben, don’t make a resolution. Make a change that is meaningful.

When you make a positive change that sticks, other positive things will happen too. You’ll also be changing the world just a bit.

New Year’s Resolutions. Positive changes in the world. Have you thought about this? The quickest way to change other folks’ behavior is to change our own?

Thank you for that.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

Related articles
The Mic Is On: We’re List Crazy!
Flow: Zen and the Art of Having Fun Writing