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Why Our Heroes Will Always Be More and Less Than the Pedestal We Put Them On

March 28, 2011 by Liz Leave a Comment

All the Stories Are True and Un-True too.

I was 13 when my grandmother died. I never got to know her well. My experience of her was a tall, loving woman who smiled often and spoke only Italian. So you can see the gap.

However, I grew up with a wealth of stories about her to add to my small set of interactions. And because she was and is a hero of mine I was a always curious to know more to fill in the picture of this person I wished I knew better and more deeply as a person.

Now as each day brings closer to the age she was when I knew her, I realize she was more complicated and had more experiences and feelings than I’ll ever know. She will always be more and less of the hero she’s come to be defined in my mind.

It’s important to realize that stories and small sets of meaningful interactions can’t reveal a person to us.

Why Our Heroes Will Always Be More and Less Than the Pedestal We Put Them On

Stories and meaningful interactions are powerful things. But the very essence of what makes a good story or a meaningful interaction is that it highlights one quality, one action that reveals something about the person in question. But no person is only one quality.

Ask my son what he knows about me.

What I’ve learned is that, like great characters in movies, we’ve all got our great strengths and weaknesses. We’ve all got our stellar qualities and our deep flaws. And any one of us that gets put on a pedestal is destined to fall. Here’s why and why I never want to be on a pedestal myself.

  • The heroes we put on a pedestal don’t really know what qualities or traits got them there. They can guess, but they didn’t define the “character” who was raised up and so they’re destined not to live up to the definition.
  • The people who put the heroes on the pedestal can only see the heroes from far away. The closer we get to people the more we see their complexity, the more likely we are to change that hero-worship into friendship. True friends see a whole person and accept the humanity — what’s great and what still needs growing about them.
  • Sooner or later every hero will be human and step outside of pedestal definition. Suddenly the hero-worshipers will feel a betrayal that the hero was less than they thought, but really he or she is also more … the more that they couldn’t see.

So let’s give up the Pedestal mentality. Heroes are only infallible from faraway. It’s unfair to make them one-dimensional and expect them to live up to a definition that no human could possibly be.

I love the stories of my grandmother. I’ll always keep her high in my heart, but I also know that she had to work for what she got and that she faced real decisions and couldn’t have possibly always chosen right. No human ever does.

If we truly want community, it’s our job to remember and protect our heroes as the humans they are so that they can keep growing and showing us what they’ve got. What kinds of fans would we be if we made all of the protection go one way and left all of the heroism to them? Where would Harry Potter be without his band of friends who have his back? No pedestal takes the place of a community of friends.

I think I like her better knowing that. It makes it easier to imagine she’d also be proud of me.

How do you protect your heroes and see them people not characters on pedestals?

–ME “Liz” Strauss

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Filed Under: Community, Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, heroes, humanity, LinkedIn, relationships

Comments

  1. mckra1g says

    March 28, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    The longer I live, the more that I realize that we are each other’s mirrors.

    Therefore, in terms of a hero/pedestal, I think that we select our heroes based upon a subconscious realization of our own abilities in that particular arena. We see in them what we aspire to achieve in our own lives.

    When we “get closer,” we have an opportunity to understand the dimensionality of our hero and to also gain a greater awareness of our own shortcomings (as reflected by the “disappointment” we may feel when we are “let down” by our heroes. This is an opportunity for us to look within and to develop ourselves more fully.

    Great post. Thanks for sharing! Best, M.

    Reply
  2. Ali Handscomb says

    March 28, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    Fab post and is so rightly understood by the great poets and writers. Shakespeare never leaves us thinking that any hero is without flaws and usually it is the flaws we love and which demonstrate our humanity.

    We admire people without knowing them though for one or two particular things about them or their work, or public persona. Ultimately though we dont really know that person but remain hopeful that the rest of their life is a great as that little but we know and admire.

    Reply
  3. Angela Shelton says

    March 28, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    The more a fan or “follower” puts you on a pedestal, the longer you have to fall. I stopped putting others on the level of hero long ago after I met many of mine. Respect and admiration is one thing, hero worship and the all mighty pedestal is quite another. That’s why I like to have deep connections with those I love, a trusted tight knit inner circle and a safe home base. Not only can you fall from the pedestal, but some people can become violent and vindictive when they realize you are not the person they created in their mind. I like to remind people who I don’t know personally to not put me on a pedestal for any of the work I do, because I have gas.

    Great post and fantastic reminder!

    Angela

    Reply

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