Why Our Heroes Will Always Be More and Less Than the Pedestal We Put Them On

March 28, 2011 by Liz

All the Stories Are True and Un-True too.

I was 13 when my grandmother died. I never got to know her well. My experience of her was a tall, loving woman who smiled often and spoke only Italian. So you can see the gap.

However, I grew up with a wealth of stories about her to add to my small set of interactions. And because she was and is a hero of mine I was a always curious to know more to fill in the picture of this person I wished I knew better and more deeply as a person.

Now as each day brings closer to the age she was when I knew her, I realize she was more complicated and had more experiences and feelings than I’ll ever know. She will always be more and less of the hero she’s come to be defined in my mind.

It’s important to realize that stories and small sets of meaningful interactions can’t reveal a person to us.

Why Our Heroes Will Always Be More and Less Than the Pedestal We Put Them On

Stories and meaningful interactions are powerful things. But the very essence of what makes a good story or a meaningful interaction is that it highlights one quality, one action that reveals something about the person in question. But no person is only one quality.

Ask my son what he knows about me.

What I’ve learned is that, like great characters in movies, we’ve all got our great strengths and weaknesses. We’ve all got our stellar qualities and our deep flaws. And any one of us that gets put on a pedestal is destined to fall. Here’s why and why I never want to be on a pedestal myself.

The heroes we put on a pedestal don’t really know what qualities or traits got them there. They can guess, but they didn’t define the “character” who was raised up and so they’re destined not to live up to the definition.
The people who put the heroes on the pedestal can only see the heroes from far away. The closer we get to people the more we see their complexity, the more likely we are to change that hero-worship into friendship. True friends see a whole person and accept the humanity — what’s great and what still needs growing about them.
Sooner or later every hero will be human and step outside of pedestal definition. Suddenly the hero-worshipers will feel a betrayal that the hero was less than they thought, but really he or she is also more … the more that they couldn’t see.

So let’s give up the Pedestal mentality. Heroes are only infallible from faraway. It’s unfair to make them one-dimensional and expect them to live up to a definition that no human could possibly be.

I love the stories of my grandmother. I’ll always keep her high in my heart, but I also know that she had to work for what she got and that she faced real decisions and couldn’t have possibly always chosen right. No human ever does.

If we truly want community, it’s our job to remember and protect our heroes as the humans they are so that they can keep growing and showing us what they’ve got. What kinds of fans would we be if we made all of the protection go one way and left all of the heroism to them? Where would Harry Potter be without his band of friends who have his back? No pedestal takes the place of a community of friends.

I think I like her better knowing that. It makes it easier to imagine she’d also be proud of me.

How do you protect your heroes and see them people not characters on pedestals?

–ME “Liz” Strauss

Social Networking: Make It Imperfectly Human for Me

June 27, 2008 by Liz

New York City, Seth Godin, Ann Michael, and a Paper Flower

In August 1998, I was wandering the streets in New York City. Later that evening our company sales conference would start. As I turned the corner somewhere near 33rd and Park, I was enjoying the view in a florist window. I walked two stores past. Stopped. Something I’d noticed had taken me. I literally backed up ten paces and went into that flower store. I came out grinning.

What had stopped me were handmade paper flowers — taller than I am. I had found a new friend for my presentation the next day. I left the florist with giant flower with a stem down to my ankles and greeted New York like a giant kid with a huge balloon. The flower has shared my office ever since. On occasion, it even sits in my desk chair.

In 2006, I returned to that same New York neighborhood for a Seth Godin seminar. I met Ann Michael. there for the first time. As we walked around the city, I’m sure I told her the story of that flower and the people who opened doors for me — the strange tall woman with a bag in one hand and unhelpful flower friend in the other.

I keep a white silk flower in a blue glass vase on a shelf in my living room. I bought the vase from a catalog. Then I bought the flower. They look stunning together, but they have no story.

This morning at Seth’s Blog something he said in May made me stop, like I did that day in New York City.

If you want to get noticed, don’t be so polished. . . . When in doubt, ~~scrawl~~ make it human.

White rose in a blue vase by Liz Strauss

I looked around for examples in my life — and I found two flowers . . .

That white rose in the blue vase is elegant, but that that paper flower connects me to people — people who’ve seen it in my office or heard the tale of how it got bought. That paper flower calls up so many stories, it could fuel a blog.

When you make a blog, a social network, or product for me, could you make it imperfectly human? It’s human touch that lingers and connects.

What do you have that’s like my paper flower?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Images: Liz Strauss

Creating Chemistry

October 17, 2007 by Liz

chemistry?

I think six degrees of separation really should be many paths of connection.

Every person connects to the next one. Every person I meet connects to you and to me. Each person brings a path to what we all have in common. Those paths connect us in network of humanity. Every path goes to who we’ve been and who we might be.

I look for high roads we’ve strayed from and backyards where we chase clouds and stars. I see weight of crowds with heavy loads that need setting down. It’s hard not to respond to one person’s journey. Every journey is about how alike we all are.

Humanity is brains and hearts seeking each other out. One human thought, one human feeling jumps a synapse of air to bridge the gap between two human beings. We call that chemistry.

I can’t help but wonder . . . if we valued our paths more, could we create more positive chemistry?

Humanity in the Virtual and 3-D World

January 4, 2007 by Liz

I’m a People Too.

Click the logo to read this week’s column in the Blog Herald.

It’s about blogging and real life.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

Brand YOU–2 Keys to Leadership

April 3, 2006 by Liz

Keeping It Going

Now that you’ve got the basics of your brand YOU in place, you might start a log. Keep track of ideas that work for you and things that you want to work on. You might keep notes on feedback you get that applies to your brand strategy–statements folks make about you, such as “Gee, you’re always so good at getting things done.” Keeping track of such things is important because other folks really decide what your brand is. You only decide what you want it to be.

The first notes in your journal might include notes on leadership such as this.

2 Keys to Leadership

Leadership is an essential part of any personal brand. A living leadership brand has two vital keys–humanity and communication.

You show humanity when you accept your own mistakes and the mistakes others make. There is leadership in that big word forgiveness that too many would be leaders often miss. How nice it is to work for, and with, someone who not only forgives others, but forgives himself or herself as well. Leaders who never err, make everyone nervous, so don’t try to be perfect. That only makes others think they have to be perfect too.

Part of being human is talking to other humans. Communicate. The free flow of information is critical in any leadership role. Communication not only lets people know what is going on, it lets them know that you care about them. Share your thoughts with discretion, grace, and humility. They will return the favor by sharing their thoughts with you.

An Ongoing Task

Building a brand and keeping it going is an ongoing, organic, living, breathing task–just as being you is. Check in on your brand every day or so to see how it’s going. Check your desk to make sure that it still looks like your big idea, too. Each time you reach a benchmark–a great sale, a promotion, a new client–check in on your brand and decide whether it needs a new coat of paint.

Your personal brand is an investment in you and your future. You’re a leader now. Let’s work together to keep your brand a perfect example of the unique valuable you.

–ME “Liz” Strauss