A Story of More than That
I’ve bought five homes. From the time the real estate agent was engaged until the offer was made not one took longer than a week. Two offers were completed in a single day. The real estate agent in Austin told me that in 25 years we were his only clients who actually purchased the house we said we were looking to buy.
I chose my university the same way.
I married my husband 42 days after we met — 24 years and 11 months ago.
My point is I know how to make a decision. I have a good sense of who I am. . . .
Yet I’ve been thinking about redesigning my blog for almost a year. Obviously it wasn’t a case of finding a new template. It’s a story of more than that.
Unwieldy Blog Unwieldy Me
Sometime around last October I realized that my blog had grown unwieldy. People can’t see the content or how it reflects me. The writing blog, the business blog, the branding blog all sit buried beneath pages. That same October, I realized that my personal presentation was in the same unwieldy state of outward presentation.
I took time to map out how to solve the blog problems. I took even longer to work out the same things about me. That done, I started looking for how to get the work done and get my life in order.
I Was in the Game . . . Not Really
Every day, I kept bumping into things that reinforced what I’d learned or suspected. Some incidents were small. Some events were larger.
At SOBCon08, I came face to face with a fact.
I was in the game, but I wasn’t playing with all that was in me.
I looked around and saw I wasn’t the only one that was holding back.
And the question stood in front of me.
Why play the game, if we aren’t playing for keeps?
And it stayed with me.
They have their act together better than I do.
Oh God, another “bad hair day” video.
Why should anyone believe the shoemaker makes fabulous shoes if his own shoes are ratty? The shoemaker ought to be wearing the best shoes in town.
It’s a rationalization, a total disconnect to think otherwise.
Why do we let ourselves off the hook on that?
No famous shoemaker ever wore ratty shoes.
If we’re not the best examples of our own talents, if we’re not walking our values, might as well hang up our uniforms — why would anyone waste good time and money on someone who’s heart isn’t in the game?
This isn’t just about shoes. It’s about people seeing what we can do.
Can people see you?
I’m Getting in the Game for Keeps . . . How About You?
People have relationships with people they can “see” — real people — people they trust. Social networking, social media, social anything is about connecting people with people. It’s relating, showing up, revealing something about the who we are inside.
We trust people whose inside values are visible on the outside.
That means giving a sign that we see them too and understand their values.
Time to quit talking about blogging in our jammies. It doesn’t make sense to people who don’t know our culture.
I’m getting in the game for keeps.
I’m showing up for the people in my life and my business. Gonna let them and you see me learn as well as let ’em see what I already know.
I used to think “Don’t tell ’em, show ’em,” was just a writer’s line.
It’s more. It’s a way of living.
Talk is cheap.
Showing up, showing who we are is relational gold.
If you value people in your life — business, social, friendship, family . . .
It’s okay to let people see you trying.
Trying happens right before succeeding.
How much
can they hear
if what they see
isn’t all that we could show them?
What would be easier if we got the offline world to take the blogosphere seriously?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!
This great post brought out something that Ive been debating back & forth in my own head for a while now. Most people and the articles I have read, state that when your ‘branding’ your website using social media that you should concentrate on what you want people to see, create your brand.
Probably in my own foolishness, I have entwined my personality with the websites brand. The brand would probably do better if I separated the two, but I just don’t take the time to do it and I’m not really sure I want to do it.
I feel the site is so me and I love that. If I have to separate the two, then will the blog become too much of a business and then will it be fun? If your not making money or are just starting isn’t it the passion behind the blog and I worry that it would all loose some appeal for me if the business aspects are stressed over my passion and the origional concept.
Whenever you truely leave your comfort zone, there seem to be more questions than answers. What would you do? or What do you do? What are the main considerations that made you decide to do it one way or the other.
Liz, shoemaster, we shall shop till we drop and get you some stunning shoes baybee!
Wow that was just what I needed to read at 6:11 in the morning. Yes, I have stood on the sideline of my life too long. What is funny, that is exactly what I have been telling myself the last two weeks is I need to get into the game. You put it into terms that really hits home for me. Thank you, yes, I need to get into the game and play not just stand on the sidelines.
Liz, I’m sure the house you bought wasn’t the first you ever saw or contemplated to buy. And I’m sure in your head you knew how your house would look like, feel like – long before you went for the first viewing.
Same with your University and your husband: it’s not a decision taken lightly and you do spend ponder and comparing time on it.
For ‘outsiders’ – like your estate agent – it might look like a snap-decision, but it’s not.
So yes, it took a year to ponder about changing/redesigning your dynamic and interactive site (aka blog) – because you want to make sure it ‘fits’ the bill of where you are at the moment. Like with your houses, university and husband.
Never a snap-decision.
Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
Vicky,
I’m not saying to take yourself off your blog at all. I’m saying do what’s most YOU. Don’t hold back from what you have to offer. Other folks can only tell you their way, not yours.
You gotta step up to the plate and bat alone. But you’re the one who’ll hit that ball out of the park if you do it. 🙂
Dear shoemaker extraordinaire
I’m looking forward to seeing where this takes you. Thanks for being so open about sharing the journey with us.
Joanna
Hi Lisa,
Welcome. I think it’s something that lots of us are thinking about how to raise the bar for ourselves and the blogosphere — so that offline people see us as serious about what we’re doing.
I’d love to talk to you about where you’re headed. 🙂
Hi Karin,
You’ve always been insightful in what you hear in the spaces. I see changes coming fast and furious. I hope that we’re able to weather them. The values and the relationships we’ve nurtured are important and worth keeping.
But to hold onto that culture as the universe gets large will take credibility among other voices that speak new languages with other values.
Hi Joanna,
Come along with me. It’s going to be something in which everyone can participate.
Hi Liz – I’m excited to be sharing a bit of this journey with you. Talk is indeed cheap, and its everywhere. I’m committed with you – to making this for real – visible, authentic, tangible, whatever you like. And the more we demonstrate to the rest of the world that this business isn’t a bunch of geeks sitting around a coffee shop, the faster we’ll be able to transform businesses, one at a time.
You go, my friend.
Amber
Hey Amber,
It’s a small beginning, but the train’s left the station. Let’s make sure we get to a destination that is filled with people. 🙂
I had a revelation recently while attending several social events in a short time. Many people knew me as the “Steak ‘n Shake” woman instead of the blogger from A Deaf Mom Shares Her World or as a writer. So I’ve been reflecting on how to change that. I have several ideas in the pipeline, but as you said, “Don’t tell them–show them.”
Liz, Lately you have been a blessing to me. When I feel like I can’t go on with anything you seem to have something to inspire me! Thank you so much for all the work you do, I find it valuable to me!
I was talking today with someone about the feeling of being stretched thin. On one hand, that is about doing too much, about being over extended. On the other hand, that can be about being transparent.
“Visible authenticity”
an incredibly powerful verbal image.
thank you.
Hi Karen,
Exactly, it’s be what we want to be known for. Imagine how powerful a message is when shows through everything we are.
Hi Jessica,
You go for it!
Hi Liz,
It was nice meeting you at the Social Media Club gathering. This is a great post for a Monday morning.
You’ve given me great food for thought for the coming weeks as I ponder my own blog redesign as well as personal and professional goals.
The old proverb that the shoemakers children never have shoes came to mind. It made me think “Do you family read your blog posts and are they your toughest customers. Can they see you or another person they can-t recognise in your writing? I had to answer yes to all of these. I try to write not only for my gathered followers and preach to the converted, but to those skeptical about blogging and social media. Being authentic gets you further, but its harder.
Thanks for sharing Liz
Go with the flow of your own feeling regards this larger universe: more new cultures to explore or more recognising the universal values that speak one language?
Value is in what is perceived you give, not what you think you are giving. No matter how large this universe becomes 😉
Karin H.
Hi Jon!
To aspire means to breathe in the direction of. That’s what we need to be doing. Communities can do things that individuals cannot.
You know that you see that every day in your own life. 🙂
Hi Donna!
When we have it all together — head, heart, and meaning — we can pick which parts are appropriate in which situations and never lose sight of who we are. We’re all born authentic. 🙂
Yeah, Karin,
That works if we know who we are. If we don’t we could get run over. 🙂
Perfect timing, as usual.
I realized last week that I’ve been acting like a second-string player instead of pushing myself to the edge of what I’m capable of doing. The cobwebs of too many old, false beliefs about myself gumming up the works, I suppose.
Looking forward to what’s coming, whatever that might be.
Hi Kat,
Wow! If you’re not at your best game, I can’t wait to see what’s coming. But I know what you’re saying about old thoughts getting in the way.
Glad to have you. 🙂
Count me in, Liz. I’m sick of bad hair days too!
I discovered something this weekend–when I’m having a bad hair day, only *I* have the ability to fix my hair! I gave myself a goal, met it, exceeded it, and realized that all this time I thought the goal was daunting, I just hadn’t given myself enough credit. Voila! New hairstyle, along with giving myself permission to mess up my hair along the way.
Jess,
What a great statement! I can’t add a thing to it. Bravo!
#16 Hey Kim!
Great to meet you too!
Welcome!
Looks like lots of us are having similar thoughts. Maybe we should start thinking them together. 🙂
Launch pirate ships into the water, Liz. All the weirdos are doing it. : )
Hey, Brogan,
You bet I’m gonna!
You know that feeling you get watching a gorgeous, big, sparkling new ship launch into the water after someone has christened it with a bottle of champagne?
Yeah. That feeling.
Fair seas and good sailing Liz!!
Thanks for letting me come along for the ride!
(and yeah, you DO inspire me… just wait until I can get my ship out there with you – it may be smaller and less imposing – but it’ll still be champagne covered, thanks to you)
Liz – as long as your alarm clock goes off showing up is easy .. showing up as “you” is what is difficult. wonderful post!
Hi Lucretia,
I’m sitting here looking out at Lake Michigan on a sunny day imagining that image of two ships, actually lots more. Look there’s Toby and Jess and Brogan and his pirates.
Maybe they’ll be renaming it the Information Ocean soon. 🙂
Toby,
What can I say, except that you know, because you do it.
Information Ocean – such an more appealing idea than an Information Highway – because we aren’t limited to just 2 directions and following others in a line any more are we? 🙂
And all of us fit in any order, any combination we want. 🙂
I know I’ll be blogging until I die,or at least until I’m physically unable to do so.
And hope you’ll be doing the same Liz, as I think you are such a positive driving force in the blogging ocean. You certainly setting lotsa waves in motion.
Hi Jannie!
I have no idea where the world will take me. But I’ll be somewhere that’s findable. I’m sure of that. 🙂
Hey Liz
I love what you wrote about “don’t tell them…show them!” Action speaks louder than word.
Giovanna Garcia
Giovanna,
You are one of the best examples of those words I know. 🙂
Crap, this means not only do I need to get my blog in order, but my home as well. (I`m an interior designer, but my home is more like Holly Hobby)
Hi Brandi,
Only in as much order as you think a modern woman should expect of herself. 😉
Hi Liz,
Great post and it swings things back to a discussion we had a month ago about commitment and determination. Determination the fuel in the engine, but commitment define the target. Shame on us if we ever let each other settle for less than the keeps you outline here.
Liz,
42 comments! Looks like you really struck a nerve here.
I’ve been involved in Chris Garrett’s Authority Blogger course and find myself looking at areas where I’m not walking the walk – areas where I’m “trying to be” something I’m not.
However, whenever I am being honest with myself and authentic with others, I don’t even have to ask if I’m walking the walk.
John
I think in order for offline folks to take what we do seriously, we first have to help them understand what we do and how it will benefit them in concrete ways, with real life examples (ones that are actually relevant to their lives). Otherwise, trying to sell virtual leather to a shoemaker is never going to work. (I’ve learned this the hard way, by standing in front of groups of lawyers who look at me like I have three heads… none of which are human.)
Liz, you have something most self-proclaimed “social media” folks I’ve met online don’t have: the ability to put yourself in the shoemaker’s shoes and show him that virtual leather isn’t any less genuine than the physical thing. If that’s not raising a barn and building a bridge, I don’t know what is. 🙂
So now you’re buying new shoes to better relay that message, to better connect with more shoemakers. Yay for you. Too many are the fools who enter wearing the best shoes money can buy without having the right feet to fill them.
“Itâs okay to let people see you trying.
Trying happens right before succeeding.”
That’s precisely what I needed to hear.
I just rented a writing studio. In which… I plan to write. You know, like a real writer. That doesn’t just do it in her pajamas because “oh, it’s just this easy little hobby I could go either way on…”
I’m terrified to tell my readers that I have rented an office because (gasp!) what if I fail? What if I’m not a real writer, after all? What if I’ll just come off looking like a poser?
Because who am I kidding? I’m just some schmuck blogger.
To hell with it.
It’s time to go all in.
I’m a first-timer here, and what a great post to walk in on. A great reminder to step it up a notch and FOCUS.
Off topic – are you in Austin, too? I’m always looking to connect with fellow Austin social media junkies.
Holy Wow! I walk away for a minute and you guy shine a light bright enough to dim a truck stop!
Yeah. We’re the real deal. Authenticity comes in many forms and colors. The coolest part is no one can take away what’s authentically you.
Hi Richard!
Yeah, resistance does play for keeps. Thanks for the Twitter. Thanks for remembering the discussion we share earlier. This is part of that too.
John,
What you said is a profound learning worth repeating.
whenever I am being honest with myself and authentic with others, I donât even have to ask if Iâm walking the walk.
Amy,
You’re brilliant in seeing what we need to do and saying it eloquently.
Megan,
You’re a writer. Don’t talk yourself out of it.
Hi bejewell,
Welcome,
I lived in Ausin, then near Laguna, then near Boston. Now I’m back home in Chicago. But if you want friends in Austin . . . email me I’ll connect you.
You’re not a stranger anymore.
Liz,
Thanks – yeah, very hard lesson to learn.
Authenticity is perfect for people with short-term memory – all you have to focus on is now.
John
Hi Liz. This is really inspiring. You know I have been lurking all around the internet trying to get something done but in the end I recognize how much I love the people.
Yes I end up stalling
And yes I don’t get anything done
But each day I’m learning something so no time is wasted.
But when I look up, it seems like those people are more contented just interacting with one another. They forgot to touch people right where they needed. they think that their superiority is enough to help people. I know a lot of successful online professionals who are like this.
There are only a few people like you who truly values others. You teach them and understand them. And with that you give people exactly what they needed. And since you build this lasting network, you are really in the game for keeps.
I just wish that in the time I get up there, I would still be the same.
Beyond words you leave me. Moved. I needed to hear this.
Liz, thank you for the preview but wow, this really touched me tonight. This is more than coincidence reading these words. Someone today told me that in my perception of adversity there lies opportunity if I’m willing to grab it. If I’m willing to walk my talk about leading instead of just saying I want to lead.
I’ve been struggling with being a good partner to folks online and off that I’ve made commitments to and a good friend to myself regarding commitments I’ve made to me. I’m not walking the talk their either.
It’s time. Your post is pushing me out of myself tonight.
Hugs, high fives and more…
Liz,
Interestingly, I was on Chris Garrett’s blog looking for content related to commenting on blogs.
I found this post, which I’m sure you’ve seen: http://www.chrisg.com/conversation-as-a-competitive-advantage/
John
Aira,
It’s hard to tell until you’re close up who someone is . . . everything looks glamorous from far away. On the other hand, so much of what we think is each other is what we let our eyes see.
I was person once said “we’re all born authentic.” I think on that often. When I look at someone who might not be something I think he or she should, I consider that my eyes aren’t looking at them the way I might have if I didn’t have a lifetime of information . . .
I don’t know what built your life. I don’t know what built theirs. I only know what built mine — it made my flaws and my few learnings. If I want folks to forgive my own history. I have to have room for theirs.
Liz,
Seems like we were on the same wavelength.
http://tinyurl.com/5h6jwk
Can’t wait to walk along side you on your journey. You always take us to such interesting places!
Drew
Drew,
Exactly.
What an incredible post, filled with insight and self truth. What an incredible conversation you have generated so far. I love who you are, where you’ve been and where you are going.
Love this statemen and the truth it tells:
“We trust people whose inside values are visible on the outside”
To me – the ‘social’ aspect of social media is the key … And sharing our real self is what builds trust and deep relationships.
Well done!
—
http://twitter.com/franswaa
Thank you, Shel.
That makes me feel like a beautiful person. What more can I say?
Well, I don’t know about all this crazy talk about shoemakers and stuff … I was always taught that when you went to a new barbershop – always pick the guy with the worse haircut!~
Don’t tell them .. show them – that’s my philosophy in a nutshell. Action speaks louder than words.
But, change is always good. For me – when it’s time to change, it’s never to conform to what people think they want out of me .. it’s to kick me in the rear end and get a new perspective on life (or my workload) and motivate me to new wonders (or even to just finish things). Sometimes it’s as simple as that.
Sure! I’m looking forward for Liz-2.0 .. but there’s nothing wrong with Liz-1.0
Liz – I find myself thanking you a lot lately. Well…thanks again. This inspired me.
Funny you should bring that up…
http://homepage.mac.com/rickwolff/dny-landing.pdf
This is on my to-do list. That is to say, find someone who can execute this as a custom theme. (Drawing boxes on virtual paper is the easy part.)
As far as the attitudinal adjustment, sometimes you can think you’re in it as deep as can be, and then the definition of “deep” changes right under you. You just noticed that.
It has a lot to do with your (or more to the point, my) level of knowledge. I sometimes feel like I’m digging a well with my bare hands. But I’m making progress!
Liz…
You are stunningly beautiful, and grow more so by the moment. By making yourself vulnerable in your writing, you create sacred space for everyone else to join you there. That’s why what gets co-created ends up being spectacular, every time.
I would say that that ability to create that space with people is one of your greatest gifts. I hope you never stop using it.
On another note, as I read your post, what came to me was this feeling that, for me, what you wrote (the words you chose) didn’t really fit for me (for you). What I mean is, you say that you haven’t been playing for keeps. To me that connotes an impermanence–like you could run off and leave everything behind at any moment. I certainly have never felt that that was true about you–you ALWAYS feel like you’re playing for keeps.
Maybe (and feel free to tell me I’m wrong, or tell me you see this as a semantical issue!) what you’ve not done is play full out (which also fits with the description you give of what you haven’t been doing). To me, they are very different things…playing for keeps vs. playing full out.
I certainly think a Liz Strauss playing full out (or whatever phrase you decide fits best) would be a super colossal force to be reckoned with…and I look forward to seeing you that way! Thank you for being you!
?
S
Thanks, Dick!
Hey Hart and Stacey!
No worries. I feel good enough, just want to be on my best game. Yeah, it’s semantics, my usual way of saying it is “be in with both feet.” That didn’t sound right for other other folks.
Whatever you call it, it’s more and stronger and I’m liking where it’s taking me. 🙂
WOW.
I love this cause this is about soo much more than the blogosphere.
Now I get why the reading ’bout creativity…
When I add this in with Seth Godin’s Tribe’s message, the election, the times weâre all in, and the many voices talking about the power to change being ours, I see nudge after nudge calling us up and out.
There’s one phrase that kept pinging around my head while I was reading the post and the comments, just can’t for the life of me remember who said it (help, anyone?): ‘Who are you when nobody’s watching?’
It’s now pasted on my wall along with the title of this post.
I’d add one thing to consider…
As you’ve said in your comments Liz, when head, heart and meaning are lined up, things can really move, and very decisively.
And when the stakes feel high we really can put ourselves in a choke hold, no doubt about it.
But, hereâs the thing. My research (and experience – oy!) confirms there’s almost always a quiet period of introspection or gestation (creative process) when we’re preparing to peel back a few layers and take a leap.
The bigger the leap (or creative call), the deeper (and sometimes longer) the gestation.
I call it âthe calling calmâ, tho if you don’t know what it is it can feel everything BUT calm.
Since most of us put a disproportionate value on moving ‘fast’ we can shove (beat) ourselves prematurely out of this vitally important period. Feels good to get out but the results often aren’t entirely satisfying.
The trick is to stay still just long enough â and go deep enough – to get both objectively and passionately clear, and then go on to the next frontier.
The trouble is its incredibly easy to make the need for the time and space to sift and be still about us not showing up when its mostly about a need to freely feel things out (something not everyoneâs comfortable with) and get crystal enough to speak out again with a fresher, clearer, stronger, deeper message.
It ebbs and it flows, if you know what I mean â much like creativity. And the closer you are to your core, the less ebb time there might need to be.
Until it’s time for another big leap anyway…
Whatâs been – and still is – hardest for me is relaxing into it while learning to trust that I wonât get stuck, wimp out or miss anything cool: getting into my bones that a soft focus doesnât mean no focus (oy), and its okay to take âimperfect actionâ while Iâm waiting for things in me to get clear.
Oh, and dealing with the desire not to ebb at all while not misdirecting the fiery frustration I can feel cause Iâd love nothing more than to push too far too fast… 🙂
Love this discussion and the company of others playing for keeps.
Thanks, Liz.
Hi Liz,
Yes to commitment, and to taking ourselves seriously and to getting in the game for keeps. This blog post gave me shivers in a really good way!
I haven’t been around your site long enough to know how and if you have been holding yourself back, and it looks from the outside that it’s really not much at all, but I know what you mean. We all have those places where we are hesitating, where we are keeping something in reserve, where we just don’t give it our all. And you’re right. The time has come to let those holding patterns fall away. We all need to be showing up with all of who we are no matter how scary that might be. If this is the expectation, then this is a community that I want to be part of!
Thanks for the inspiration!
Lisa,
As I read what you wrote, I couldn’t help thinking that’s what took so long to move me to action. I was thinking, reflecting, trying things on. It wasn’t until all of the signs around me kept underlining my already chosen direction that I was done with the thinking and ready move forward again. 🙂
Hi Chris!
I think we all ebb and flow with our committments. We get in and then we get used to how things are going … that’s when it gets hard to to remember to keep challenging ourselves.
Welcome! Yeah. Things will be going on!
Great post Liz. Reminds me of a favorite quote:
“If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?” – Vince Lombardi
I look forward to finally meeting you at SOBCon 11 in Chicago. Until then…
Hi Sean!
I’m a great fan of Vince Lombardi quotes too! Yeah, we sometimes lose sight of what we’re doing in the noise.
If we don’t set a goal and keep track, how do we know whether we’ve accomplished anything worthwhile?
Can’t wait to meet you too!
Excellent post, Liz, and kudos to you! That takes guts.
I’m the cobbler who is barefoot and caught with her pants down. A “graphic designer” without a website — I pulled it offline to make room for a “better” one. And stalling. Thought it was a case of perfectionism. Then somewhere along the line I realized, this is not my passion. I dislike web design. I like book design. I love to assist clients with the creation of their overall visual identity system that fits with their business and marketing strategies. For years, I only charged for the design work. This is an excellent wake up call for me to re-evaluate and get clear on what I really want to offer and put it out there and be seen. Most importantly, give my clients the results they desire (and I become a happy camper as well!). Thanks for the butt-kick!
Liz, this is a great post filled with real heart, soul and passion! I think this topic is so very important for everyone to look at. We have so much more potential then we demonstrate, and when we get to that place where we look in the mirror and feel disappointed in what we are creating or accomplishing, it is a great day to flip the coin and look at what playing full out would look like for us and what difference it could make in our life and in our business. I am inspired!
I have been playing full out, and when you get that place, it is hard to keep up the pace sometime. I am working on balance now and learning to know myself in terms of when to challenge and push harder and when to expand the space.
Thank you Liz for your open and honest account of a topic near and dear to my own heart!!
xoxo
@HelenRappy