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Online Culture: Is Your Definition of Real Life Out of Date?

June 30, 2009 by Liz

In Real Life

I keep encountering the phrase “in real life.” People use it often to talk about the offline culture. Most of probably first heard that phrase as small children. Our families use it to help us differentiate between fantasy and reality, fact or fiction. It’s education curriculum — a skill essential to literacy and critical thinking — teachers help children sort real versus make believe in schools all over the world.

Out of school and grown, we rely on that skill to navigate information and relationships — to identify competence, credibility, relevance, predictability, integrity, authenticity. We trust what is “real.” We look to uncover fallacy.

It’s how we learn to trust who and what we know. But reality is perception and perception is made of more than information — personal filters and cultural beliefs change our view of what’s authentic.

Hopefully with new information and new experience we changed how we see and what we know.

Culture Shock

Lately I’ve realized that my definition of real life and the words around the online experience need to change. My view hasn’t kept up with the new seamless online and offline line communication world. Here’s how I got to that thought.

When we go to another country, we find another culture. It’s just as likely that we’ll find another culture in the next neighborhood. Culture is a context that frames our reality.

What’s fine and natural in one context can be a reputational blunder in another. We start to “get” this the first time our peer group has different values than our family. Peer culture has different rules.

Vocabulary changes from one culture to another too. The most used definition of community can be a group of like minded thinkers here, a church group there, or a small town depending on the group we’re talking with.

Even the mode of communication has its effect. We dress and act differently in person than we might on the phone. Without the visual input our words have more power and are offered in a verbal behavior set. This tool changes the culture in which it works just that much. Yet we never say that we’re in another world when we talk on the phone or when we text.

AND it’s a new cultural fact: No one wants to hear our cell phone convervastions.

Similarly, online culture is developing rules of behavior that change in different situations too.

Yet because folks have imagined virtual reality that is not all true, we’ve developed this mindset that being online isn’t the real world when in fact, the Internet is just another set of tools.

Being online isn’t another world … it’s a set of tools in another culture paradigm. It’s no less the real world than being on the phone.

To be visibly authentic in every conversation in every every culture, it’s important to be aware that media only mediates relationships and it only causes contextual cultural shifts. .

The media we use doesn’t define real life.
Media doesn’t change the world, people do.

Is your definition of real life out of date too?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Buy the ebook. Learn the art of online conversation.

Filed Under: Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, online culture, social-media, visible authenticity

How Do You Make the Dream Within You Visible?

April 14, 2009 by Liz

Do You Dream a Dream?

We unconsciously believe “What you see is what you get.”

When I started this quest for visible authenticity, I didn’t realize how important it would be. I didn’t know how hard I’d been working to get past what people assumed about me. I thought it was just my shyness from childhood kicking in. Now with minor changes barely in place, I already see a difference in how people are responding.

After our first meeting in November, Kali wrote …

“Liz’s visual presence is perfect for someone, just not Liz Strauss. It sorely misrepresents who she is and the depth of her talent. If the bulk of Liz’s interactions are vocal or written, she may be less aware of the impact of her visual image – but I am certain that it is affecting her life.”

“I am confident that when Liz is in front of people, she is taken less seriously than she should be,”

The same could be said of Susan Boyle the amazing, inspiring woman in this video. She wasn’t taken less seriously than she should be. Even if you’ve seen this video before, watch again. Experience what happens when people realize “what you see isn’t always what you get.”

YouTube keeps disconnecting the embed. You can also view it here.

When we see each other’s dreams, visibly authentically, we are drawn into to them.
Susan made her dream visible. Imagine if everything about her shared her dream — what then?

Do you dream a dream? How do you make the dream within you visible?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Register for SOBCon09 NOW!!

Make your dream visible.

Filed Under: Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, Britan's Got Talent, LinkedIn, relationships, Susan Boyle, visible authenticity

Do Leaders Wear Jeans? Does What You Wear Show Who You Are?

April 7, 2009 by Liz


How We Look at Each Other

I’ve always been a bit frivolous and uninvolved with fashion. I like nice things, but I don’t like to spend time acquiring them, maintaining them, or thinking about the right thing to wear. Maybe it’s because I grew up with the luxury of school uniforms. Maybe it’s because I try not to define people by their clothes and their hairstyle. I say try because I know that I still do.

  • When someone comes to a geek party looking like she just stepped off of a yacht, I think she might have missed the boat on connecting with this group.
  • When a guy’s hair is dyed so screaming comic book pink I have to fight to see the face beneath it, I wonder what he doesn’t want me to see.
  • When I’m in a room of highly fashion savvy people, I start shrinking a bit and wondering what other cool things they know that I don’t.

It’s not fair really, but I think things based on what people are wearing. We all do. We sort with our eyes before anyone even says a word. We assume a person’s visual presentation reflects his or her choices, values, and intelligence. We gravitate toward people who choose as we do. People who look like who they are and what they’re saying get our trust more easily. When the clothes and the conversation don’t match, we go with what we see.

How could I have been slow to realize that a disconnect in what people see would make it harder for them to “get” me? I connect more easily with people online than off.

Let’s consider something as simple as a pair of jeans. Who’d have thought that a new pair of jeans would shift my ability to connect by 180 degrees?

Do Leaders Wear Jeans?

When I first went to The Image Studios last fall, I was told that my jeans had to go. I argued with the idea.

I work with geeks. I don’t want to look younger, but I don’t want to look something I’m not. AND I sure don’t want to look my mother!

The smart stylist who had just met me. Let it go.

You might remember that right before SxSW Deshaia, a talented stylist from The Image Studios came to my condo for Wardrobe Smackdown 1. She explained again that my jeans had to go.

These jeans you have on are baggy, traditional, and acid washed. They say who you were. You need jeans that communicate who you are. In your case, they need to speak to Connected, Irresistible, Intuitive, Creative and Loving.

Jeans communication. Strangely enough I sort of got what she was saying. The jeans I had were from the 90s. They looked old fashioned and comfortable — not alive, creative, and innovative. My jeans drove off in a bag of Good Will donations for someone who authentically is still living in a baggy, traditional, acid washed world.

With no time to lose, I bought the new pair, contemporary and well fit. Suddenly, I understood — soon as I put them on I felt more “with it.” I’m sure I looked more connected to now than 10 years ago.

old jeans Joes Jeans

The new jeans (right) add credibility. I look like I know the ideas that suit the world now.

Do they change my thinking? Of course not. But they underscore my values before I even talk. That’s what this visible authenticity project is all about — being seen, heard, and understood on every level. When your jeans are working for you, you don’t have to work so hard.

Baggy, traditional, acid-washed jeans doesn’t communicate my ideas or my values.
Contemporary, well-fitting, one-of-kind jeans worth talking about do.

Does what you wear show who you are?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Related:
Visual Authenticity: How Do You Show Your Promise?
Why Play the Game, If We Aren’t Playing for Keeps?

Buy the ebook.

Register for SOBCon09 NOW!! Invest, Learn, Grow!

Filed Under: Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, LinkedIn, Marketing /Sales / Social Media, visible authenticity

Visual Authenticity: How Do You Show Your Promise?

March 7, 2009 by Liz

The Promise of What’s Inside

As a book publisher, I looked at hundreds of suggested book covers. Sometimes the most well-designed were the ones that got turned down immediately. They might have been beautiful, but they didn’t do the job.

The cover’s job is to communicate what’s inside. It makes a promise of what you’ll find if you explore further.

People say “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” But we we’re not wired right, nor do we have time, to do an indepth study of everything and everyone before we decide.

I know that this can seem controversial, but to me how you look speaks volumes to someone who might be your next client. — William Love, VividlyDrawn

The one who visually communicates what he or she offers
is far more likely to get an offer.
The connection happens before a word is said.

Disconnects, Visual Authenticity, and First Impressions

Yesterday, I had two meetings at The Image Studios. the professional image communication consultancy in Chicago. We accomplished several things.

Kristin, Colors, Clothes

Meet Kristin Evans wardrobe consultant. Kristin and I sat for about an hour discussing what I do, how I live, and how much time I like to spend on things like clothes. We took a phrase from my friend RoxanneDiana. I want “a high maintenance look with low maintenance management.”

Then we went to a three-way mirror. Kristin pointed out the shape of my face, the width of my shoulders and my waist, the length of arms, my torso, and my legs. Then she explained how to use clothing pieces to get the best look for what I’ve got — to draw the eyes up, to even out my height, to make the mathematics work.

We covered my hair and clothes and put colors around my face to find the color palette that works best with my skin tones … I’m delighted to report the colors I’ve chosen for my new blog design are in that group.

Kali, Diversity, and Reversity

Meet Kali, the founder and passionate entrepreneur. Kali and I talked about my goals and her goals for several hours. She talked hair and took photos use the computer imager to choose the hair style that suits my personality — the authenticity words I’ve chosen to describe myself, when no one’s looking. We’re not there yet … keep watching.

We also talked about diversity and “reversity.” We explore the idea that by teaching diversity, we’re focusing on the wrong thing. We’ve built a culture that teaches us to “allow for” differences, but don’t teach folks the skills they need or enough avenues to acquire them.

For example: We say that men, women, people of various colors and cultures, Boomers, GenYers, you and I should be understood. But any amount of diversity understanding for me — that I only sound uncertain, that I never learned to small talk, or that I only look as if I don’t care — won’t change the fact that those “differences” make it harder for me to succeed. What I need is the skills and information to reverse those perceptions.

First Impressions, Mixed Messages and Trust

First impressions are made of context and trust. If people see one thing and hear the same thing, the impression resonates with trust. If what they see and hear don’t match — I say “yes,” but shake my head “no.” — they have to reconcile the differences.

It’s hard to trust mixed messages.

When we offer visual and verbal authenticity — communication is easier for all of us. It’s a great promise we deliver on. Like the book and cover, what’s inside starts the process.

I’ve started with a new t-shirt.

t-shirt by Reflect
Elpoep gnizama tcartta i -- t-shirt by Reflect

How do you show your promise? I’m working on it and I’d really like to know.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Register now for SOBCon09

Put your promise into action.

Filed Under: Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, social business, The Image Studios, visible authenticity

This Shoemaker Has Decided the Ratty Shoes Have to Go

March 4, 2009 by Liz

To Be Seen, Heard, and Understood

Yessir, Chris Brogan, I have ideas. Thank you for linking my ideas to yours. I’m good at ideas and when they connect, my ideas light fires.

It’s the connecting that makes the ideas take off.
Connecting happens when people see, hear, and understand our ideas.

I’ve decided this year I want my connections working online and off.

Meet Vince

I’ve enlisted the best designer, Vincent Franco, to bring out the hidden content on this blog, to get it ready for where we’re going. The concept is rolling. We’ll be making room for new features, a bow to the past and a long look to the future. I’m taking over my dad’s saloon once and for. The new look will focus on what this blog and the successful and outstanding bloggers who hang out here are about.

  • We’ll be rolling up the categories into key locations. As we get going the content become more focused around the main topics of web strategy, how communities form, communication, social media, blogging / writing, and creativity / ideas.
  • I’ve already invited Kathryn Jennex to write a column called “Practical Communication.” Have you been reading what she writes every Thursday? She constantly hits it out of the park!
  • My dear friends from OZ, Suzie Cheel and Des Walsh will still challenge us to reflect as they share coastline of tomorrowland.
  • If you’d like to participate email me. It’s always been a community blog.

Meet The Image Studios

The most professional soft skills, image communication consultancy in Chicago, The Image Studios, has agreed to show me how to leverage the best of my head, heart, and purpose so that people can see, hear, and understand who I am — at first glance.

  • This is not a TV makeover. This is a serious quest to be recognized. The operative term is visible authenticity. You’ll be hearing more of that from me all year.
  • I had my first meeting with image team last fall. My meeting with Kali Evans-Raoul, the founder, brought out a baseline that is firmly grounded in who I am and where I want to be. The plan is to get what doesn’t work out of my way, not layering new things on.
  • I’ll be blogging. We’ll be taking photos and video. Most importantly I’ll be trying to track the thoughts behind the decisions and changes.

The why of this is simple enough. Social media, social business is about connections. Connecting starts long before we talk.

2009 is the Year to be SEEN, HEARD, AND UNDERSTOOD.

This shoemaker has decided the ratty shoes have to go.

How about you? Are you ready for visible authenticity?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Register now for SOBCon09

Invest in your business. Invest in yourself.

Filed Under: Motivation, Successful Blog Tagged With: barn raising, bc, LinkedIn, The Image Studios, Vincent Franco, visible authenticity

How Social Media Can Help You Build a Better Business

December 1, 2008 by Liz


Why Didn’t the People Come?

When people ask my help, it’s often to avoid or to remedy a situation like this one.

He had a dream, an idea, for a new business. It was a product and a service. He saw it in its glory. It was part store, part community bustling with transactions. He saw the people coming — they knew they couldnn’t wait for it.

So he got busy building that dream. He invested time, money, and enthusiasm in something …

  • that he thought was cool.
  • that was costly, but “worth” it.
  • that was harder to use than he realized.
  • that he didn’t know how to sell.
  • that he imagined would get people change how they do what they do
  • that someone else had already built — better, faster, less expensively.

Nothing happened. No one lined us. No bustling community developed. The dream was built and no one lined up. No one has noticed it. Why?

He didn’t remember to talk to the people who were supposed to come.

Get the People to Come Before You Build It

Suppose, instead of building that business and offering it to them, we invited the people we want to serve build the business with us? The culture of social media and social networking offer huge opportunities to build a business with a community rather than for them.

In the 18th and 19th rural North America, building a barn — the most important structure of farm — required many hands and many skills. Time was often short and funds could be tight. Barn raising was the work of an interdependent community that saw barns as an important part of life.

A barn raising used to be a one- or two-day event. Materials were purchased and plans were finished ahead. When the community came able-bodied and quick-minded members could start right in. Barn raisings were lead a barn raiser who with a well-thought plan who was paid to identify and manage crew chiefs, specialists, and volunteers for “pitching in.” New barn raisers were expected to watch before they took up their work.

A barn raising is the ultimate community collaboration to complete a common, organized goal.

Barn raising a business in the social media culture offers the business and the community members who participate clear benefits. Here’s why your social media business building should be a barn raising.

  • A community needs a plan and organization to build. We can’t fool a community by building parts that don’t work together. We can’t get stuck or be moved to fall in love with our own ideas.
  • Enlisting a barn raiser and crew chiefs keeps your plan organized and on schedule.
  • Ideas and costs get questioned.
  • We have to be able to explain how things will work, what makes them useful, and why they’re worth building
  • We all gain skills and relationships from participating in the process.
  • The final business reflects the needs and values of the community that built it.
  • Participants showcase their best work in a short-term commitment
  • The process provides a product or service has proven its worth by the community support.

Barn raising builds the community at the same time that it builds the business that will serve us. Everyone who has participated is invested in its success. Don’t just think … do.

Ever been part of a project that worked like a barn raising?

What would be the first step in helping some get a social media barn raising started for their business idea?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Want to build barn? Work with Liz!!
Image: Haussler Cluster Raising in CA

Get your best voice in the conversation. Buy my eBook.

Filed Under: Community, Successful Blog Tagged With: barn raising, bc, Community, LinkedIn, visible authenticity

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