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The People Standing Around You

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Can we talk about . . .

friends?

I walk into an event. I’m looking forward to seeing you. I look across and there you are.

I start to walk over. Then I notice the people standing around you. They’re a few folks you sometimes hang with. You call them friends. I’m not so sure they live up to that title where you’re concerned. One’s a whiner. One’s a complainer, One’s a slacker. All three are takers. You give them your best and all they seem to give you is more of their problems to solve. They don’t see you, only what you can do for them.

You haven’t noticed that you keep giving your energy to folks who don’t energize you.

I was set to have a great “let’s catch up” conversation, to find out what you’re doing, to tell you about some people I’ve met who might be able to help you move forward. I value what you know, what you can do, what you’re willing to invest in learning.

But I’ve been part of the group you’re with on other occasions. Those three around you always talk about the same things — mostly gossip and what’s unfair about the world. If we try to talk about the future, they will hijack the conversation with negativity and distractions.

I reconsider. I’m not ready to share my contacts if they will have to navigate through that group.

I say a brief hello and keep moving. You never know that I’m waiting for you.

Are the people around you helping you grow or holding you down?

It’s not loyalty or friendship, or even business, if the the energy and positivity isn’t coming back to you.

Surround yourself with folks who can see you and value you.
You’ll have more energy, more confidence, and more positive people who want to spend time with you.
Please do.

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Dealing with annoying people

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by Patty Azzarello

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I often say that your job is your job description AND dealing with all the crap that gets in the way of getting your job description done.

Stupid obstacles often come in the form of people’s opinions, corporate policy, changes of direction, fire drills, conflicting goals, delayed decisions, unclear strategies, shall I go on?

It’s always important to remember that you can’t blame your failure on other people being stupid.

Six months or a year down the road, if the reason that you didn’t get something done is because someone else has or hasn’t done has something, or someone else has blocked you, you are still the one who has lost.

1. The right language

Clearing an obstacle that is being put in place by another person or policy has everything to do with language.

And there are two language techniques I have found to be really useful to get things going your way again when you are confronted with difficult, rigid, indecisive, or stupid people.

What is the NAME of the Meeting the other person would WANT to attend?

For example, If your requests for a program change in other organization are going ignored, the name of the meeting YOU want to have with the manger is called something like,  “You are doing this wrong and I need you to change it, because it’s killing me”.

But would they really want to attend that meeting?

Change the name of the meeting to name their problem, not yours.

When you are trying to get someone to do something for you, you need to name the meeting something that is relevant and motivating to them.  “I want  to discuss how my team can solve your most critical competitive issue, with no increased cost on your part”.

Then when you have the meeting, make sure to stay relevant to them.  Describe your problem in the context and actual vocabulary of the business problems they are facing right now, and how the action you are requesting is directly beneficial to them.

If you don’t use the right language, you will not be relevant to them, and you will continue to go unheard, and un-helped.

2. “I’m hoping you can help me…”

The angrier and more frustrated you are, the more you are likely to start a conversation with something like, This is all messed up because [of something you, (or the people you represent are doing)]

Do you really expect their reaction to be helpful at this point?

Wow. thank you for telling me how stupid and wrong I am.  You are so smart, please tell me what do do next? I am at your service.

Even if it is all their fault, if you need to influence them to do something better or different, a far more useful approach is to open with, “I’m hoping you can help me”.

I use this not only colleagues, but with utility companies, hotels, and health insurance providers all the time.  It works like a charm.  I guess, because you are using some charm…

Engage people to WANT to help you

When someone says to me,  “I’m hoping you can help me…”, I always think, “hmmm… I wonder what this challenge might be?  Can I really help? I’m kind of hoping I can help …

This approach builds people up instead of cutting them down.  They have power to help if they choose to.  Giving this small bit of respect makes them want to help you.  People generally like to help.

If you don’t attack them first and tell them how wrong and incompetent they are,  you stand a far greater chance of getting what you need from them.

I know it is frustrating when the people you are dealing with are actually wrong and/or stupid, but if they are indeed creating an obstacle, it’s your job to clear the obstacle and get the job done, not to prove that you are right and demand their support.

How have you persuaded difficult people or adversaries?

Leave your ideas in the comment box below!

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Patty Azzarello is an executive, author, speaker and CEO-advior. She works with executives where leadership and business challenges meet. Patty has held leadership roles in General Management, Marketing, Software Product Development and Sales, and has been successful in running large and small businesses. She writes at Patty Azzarello’s Business Leadership Blog. You’ll find her on Twitter as @PattyAzzarello. Also, check out her new book Rise…

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The Book List: ‘I’m at a Networking Event, Now What?’ and ‘The Entrepreneur Equation’

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A Weekly Series by Teresa Morrow of Key Business Partners, LLC

I’m Teresa Morrow, Founder of Key Business Partners, LLC and I work with authors & writers to help them with their online book promotion and marketing. As part of my job I read a lot of books (I love to read anyway!).

The books in the Book List Series will cover a range of topics such as social media, product development, marketing, blogging, business, organization, career building, finance, networking, writing, self development, and inspiration.

‘I’m at a Networking Event, Now What?’ by Sandy Jones-Kaminski

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“Networking should be like the holiday season–more about giving than receiving.”
Women Entrepreneur book review

About the Book*:

Through this book you will learn how to make quality connections, cultivate relationships, expand your circle of influence through networking events, and create good “social capital.” You’ll also find information on networking tools and technology that will promote new contacts and connections.

I’m at a Networking Event—Now What??? illustrates that today’s social networking environments practically demand that you have at least some knowledge of effective networking practices in order to achieve the results most of us are looking for.

About Sandy*:
Sandy Jones-Kaminski is a self-described networking enthusiast and accomplished marketer and business development professional. In 2002, Sandy launched her own online marketing and biz dev strategy consulting practice called Bella Domain, LLC. She is also a former VP of Networking for one of the largest chapters of the American Marketing Association. Sandy knows how to make meaningful connections, cultivate relationships, host some great networking events, and create what she refers to as good “social capital.” You can connect with her at www.belladomain.com.

You can purchase a copy of ‘I’m at a Networking Event, Now What?’ online at Amazon or on the publisher site. *this information came from Amazon.

Next, I would like to introduce you to another book on the business book list on Amazon and on my reading list: ‘The Entrepreneur Equation’.

‘The Entrepreneur Equation: Evaluating the Realities, Risks, and Rewards of Having Your Own Business’ by Carol Roth

This book came out this week on the new releases (business) list on Amazon.

“Carol delivers the reality check that today’s entrepreneur needs to succeed.”
—JJ Ramberg, Host of MSNBC’s “Your Business” and CEO of Goodsearch.com

“Aspiring entrepreneurs and small business owners alike can generate the best return on their success simply by investing their time reading The Entrepreneur Equation. Written in Carol’s frank and fun style, this book gives you the key tools that you need to stack the odds of success in your favor.”
—Loral Langemeier, CEO/Founder of Live Out Loud, international speaker and bestselling author of the Millionaire Maker 3 book series and Put More Cash In Your Pocket

“Finally! Someone asks the million dollar question—and then answers it. It isn’t about CAN you be an entrepreneur? It is really about—SHOULD you be an entrepreneur? You can spend thousands of dollars and years of your valuable life figuring it out. Or, you can read this book.”
—Shama Kabani, Author of The Zen of Social Media Marketing and President of the Marketing Zen Group

About the Book
There’s never been a better time to start a business—or so the conventional wisdom would have you believe. But with up to 90 percent of businesses failing within the first five years, it’s time to take off the rose-colored glasses and think twice before you invest your precious time, money and energy.

The Entrepreneur Equation helps you do the math before you set down the entrepreneurial path so that you can answer more than just “Could I be an entrepreneur?” but rather “Should I be an entrepreneur?” By understanding what it takes to build a valuable business as well as how to assess the risks and rewards of business ownership based on your personal circumstances, you can learn how to stack the odds of success in your favor and ultimately decide if business ownership is the best possible path for you, now or ever.

Through illustrative examples and personalized exercises, tell-it-like-it-is Carol Roth helps you create and evaluate your own personal Entrepreneur Equation as you:

• Learn what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur in today’s competitive environment
• Save money, time and effort by avoiding business ownership when the time isn’t right for you
• Identify and evaluate the risks and rewards of a new business based on your goals and circumstances
• Evaluate whether your dreams are best served by a hobby, job or business
• Gain the tools that you need to maximize your business success

About Carol*:

Carol Roth helps businesses grow and make more money. An investment banker, business strategist and deal maker, she has helped her clients, ranging from solopreneurs to multinational corporations, raise more than $1 billion in capital, complete $750+ million in M&A transactions, secure high-profile licensing and partnership deals, create brand loyalty programs and more.

Carol is a frequent radio, television and print media contributor on the topics of business and entrepreneurship, having appeared on Fox News, MSNBC, Fox Business, WGN TV Chicago and more. She is also signed to LA-based t.v. production company Snackaholic who is currently developing a television show around Carol’s life as a business expert and personality.

Carol Unsolicited Business Advice blog at CarolRoth.com was recently named as one of the Top 10 small business blogs online and Carol is a contributor to a number of other business blogs.

Carol graduated Magna Cum Laude from The Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

*courtesy of book website and/or Amazon

You can purchase a copy of ‘The Entrepreneur Equation’ at Amazon.

Help For The Burnt-Out Blogger

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By Jael Strong

Your toddler was up all night with a fever.  Honestly, you don’t feel so great yourself.  The house needs cleaned.  The bills need paid.  Your mama’s getting a bit peeved because you never return her calls and you can’t remember the last time you actually just sat down to relax without some project sprawled out in front of you. You need a break.  But wait!  There’s one more thing you need to do:  blog! 

Nobody twisted your arm.  You wanted to be a blogger.  In fact, you enjoy writing…most of the time.  But when you feel like the whole world is crashing in on you, blogging is the last thing that you want to do.  To make matters worse, when you are so tired, creativity does not seem to flow. 

Feeling overwhelmed and burnt out is not unusual in this fast-paced world.  Additionally, bloggers often write in addition to other work responsibilities, especially when first starting out.  It’s a good idea to have some ideas tucked away for those times when things become too stressful.  Here are some starter ideas.

Breathe deeply.  This is a simple one, but the fact is that by controlling our breathing we are able to keep ourselves calm.  When you begin to feel the stress build, take a few moments to close your eyes and practice deep, controlled breathing.  Don’t think about blogging or other stressors.  Your blog isn’t going anywhere.  Take care of yourself first then move on to your writing.

Take a nap.  This suggestion isn’t too complex either.  And I know you have heard it before, but remember that often when our mind isn’t responding the way that we need it too, it’s really a lack of rest that is at the heart of it.   Again, your blog isn’t going anywhere.  Take a nap, even a short ten minute nap, and you will feel the difference and be ready to face your challenges.

Keep it brief.  So, your readers are used to 500-1000 word post.  You may feel obligated to stick to those numbers.  That is a mental contract, not a legal one.  If you feel that you can’t write more or that you need to write less so that you can attend to other matters, do it.  Your readers will understand, and you will be better equipped to write more prolifically in the future because you have taken care of matters that are weighing on you at present.

Take a hiatus.  Sometimes you need a day or a week to recoup.  There may even be times in your life due to unforeseen stressors that you need even longer.  If you want to prevail as a writer, take the needed time off.  If you are an established blogger, there may be some short-term consequences, but you must make yourself a priority.  Leaving a short note on your blog telling your readers that you are taking a break and why will keep you connected. Stating exactly when you intend to come back to your writing will give you the needed incentive to come back to your blog after your hiatus.

Ask for help.  I’ve written about this before.  The blogging community can be a great resource if you have networked with other writers and have a good relationship with them.  If you feel that you need to take a break, even for a day, but don’t feel that you should leave your blog unattended, ask another writer for help.  Be prepared to do the same for them in the future. 

These suggestions are by no means exhaustive.  Tell us, what do you do when blogging becomes the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back?

Jael Strong writes for TheWriteBloggers, a professional blogging service which builds clients’ authority status and net visibility.  She has written both fiction and non-fiction pieces for print and online publications.  She regularly blogs at Freelance Writing Mamas .

Thanks, Jael

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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80-20 Rule of Customers: Stop Thinking 20th Century! Attract Only the Top 20%

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10-Point Plan in Action

Who’s Not Your Ideal Customer?

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I was sitting waiting for a friend in a San Francisco Bistro. The art designer at the next table was bemoaning his business clientele. He said,

20% of my customers are a pleasure to work with. 80% are not, but they pay the bills.

It was all I could do to say, STOP THINKING 20TH CENTURY!!

80-20 Rule of Customers: Quit Thinking 20th Century! Attract Only the Top 20%

In the 20th Century, when we were stuck in geographic niches, we were been limited by location and broadcast advertising. We might have had to serve more people who weren’t our ideal clients and customers. Word of mouth referrals could only reach so many more like the ones we loved already.

The Internet and social business through social media together have blown that 20th century notion apart.

Whether we’re a one-person shop or a huge corporation, we can identify our ideal customers — those 20%-ers that make our work faster, easier, and more meaningful. We can get to know them and let them get to know us. We can develop trust and relationship, discuss solutions and suggest creations, so that by the time they find our front door, they’re already in our community of fans.

Here’s how to do attract those 20%-ers …

  • Build an offer that only can deliver. Design it to the detail to suit the customer group you know best. Set your highest standards for the outcomes it guarantees. Know every detail of its execution and performance. When you can believe in your head, heart, hands, and soul that you and every member of your team can consistently deliver on it. You’re ready to talk to the people you want to attract.
  • Have standards for customer relationships. Whether your customers buy pencils or designs for major stadiums, know what behaviors you believe in as eithical and trustworthy. Offer those behaviors to your customers and expect those behaviors in return. If a customer disrepects your product or the people who make or sell it — no matter what that product or service is — send the customer packing. No money is worth your ethics or the self-respect of your business.

    Take a minute to remember your best customers – those 20%-ers. The qualities they have in common probably add up to something like these: They

    • Understood your product or service and its value.
    • Were willing to pay a fair price for great work.
    • Saw your unique contribution.
    • Trusted your expertise.
    • Communicated their problems with concern for their needs and yours.
    • Were happy to talk their friends about you and your work.
    • Working with them made you better at what you do.

    So look when you want to identify new 20%-ers that you want to work with, look for people who

    • See how your product or service can improve what they do.
    • Agree on the value of the work and the relationship.
    • Know their own unique expertise and recognize yours.
    • Communicate well and honestly.
    • Share your values and are open with their friends.
      • Enjoy great working relationships.

    Holding your standards on customer relationships will attract customers who have the same standards as you.

  • Invite, don’t sell. The difference between inviting and selling is the strength of your trust relationship. Pack that invitation with the offer you guarantee to deliver on. Describe it with the values you hold for relationships and how that pays off in having more time to building quality and real return on investment.
  • As @MichaelPort of Michael Port says, “Match your offer to the level of trust you’ve developed.”

    Example these words mean something different from someone we love than from someone we just met …

    Come to my room. I guarantee you an unforgettable night of sex.

    Speak with and show respect for work and the people with whom you work. Handle your products like valuable investments. Describe your services with calm and passionate reverence.

  • And as @SteveFarber Steve Farber says, “Do what you love in service to the people who love what you do.” You’ll know in seconds if the people you’re talking with don’t “get” the value you’re offering. If they don’t “get” your products and services don’t try to convert them, they won’t stay converted and they’ll keep asking more of you.Instead find the people who value you.
  • Deliver on every promise so that folks feel proud to talk about you.

Great businesses don’t qualify our customers based only on interest and cash to buy. Though crucial, as our only gating factors, those two alone will lead us to serving folks who don’t value what we do.

80%-ers don’t build our businesses. They take more time, They question every price and every action because they don’t trust. If they’re loyal, they’re loyal to price or because we’re the ones who tolerate their indecision, misbehavior, lack of communication, without charging for time lost

The 20%-er Attraction Standard

When we hold ourselves to our best standards and performance, people notice.
When we treat people with trust and respect, trustworthy and respectable people come to us.

When we invite the right people to try our best offer, we make it easy to choose our products and services. We also make it easy to share our best offer with friends. 20%=ers think of us when they’re asked “Who do you know that can …? ”

And soon those 20%-ers we invite bring their 20%-er friends who want to enjoy that same standard of products, service, value, and respect.

Because 20%-ers know, as we do, that alignment like that is easier, faster, and more meaningful. And we all know that working with lower standards attracts lesser customers, wastes time, costs more, and leaves us feeling like less. Find the fit that matches your 20%-er values.

Have you set your standards high enough to attract only that best 20%?

That’s irresistible.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Are You Ready to Claim the Right Things You’ve Done?

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We’re Awfully Good at Debriefing Failures and Just Toasting Our Success

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It takes a team to achieve a major business initiative. The research, the trials, the final product, the sampling effort, the trade shows, the tests and metrics, the PR, marketing, and social media effort designed amplify the buzz all took people, time, money, resources invested where it counts.

And when that sort of investments fails, we’re all over it to figure out where it went wrong. We hold meetings to debrief our choices, our missteps, and errors like so many grains of broken glass ground down to sand. In the name of learning from our mistakes we own our loses like so many merit badges. Sometimes we beat the losing horse until it’s long past dead with a mantra never to forget or to repeat the mistakes we made again.

But when we win, we toast to our success and move ahead.
What if we put the same rigor to debriefing our success?

How to Claim the Right Things You’ve Done

We’re great about learning from our losses. We’re not so great a learning from our success. A quick look at Bloom’s taxonomy will show that what we often do when we debrief a losing situation is we work all of the way up from knowledge through evaluation of what didn’t work.

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Suppose we followed that toast to our success with an equally granular discussion of what worked with our success? It might look like this.

  • Knowledge – What it is we accomplished? What were the key parts that led to the success?
  • Comprehension – What do we know now about the project, the team, the customers that we didn’t know before?
  • Application – How can we use what we’ve learned from this success to build the next initiative like this one?
  • Analysis – How is this project similar and different from other projects we undertake?
  • Synthesis – What overall learnings can take forward from this success?
  • Evaluation – How as this win change what we understand about what we do as a business?

Raise that toast to your success. Then ask the six simple questions to claim what you’ve won.
The moments of reflection that bring you to the answers are the time you need to incorporate, internalize, and own what you’ve done — to move the “winning behavior” from a possibility into a natural response.

The evaluation of the win is the way to claim your rewards, to own them, and to leverage that learning from then on.
When you own your success, it shows every time you walk into a room. That’s how claiming rewards from success leverages itself into more success.

The good news is we can all go back — alone or with our teams — and claim our rewards for every success we’ve ever won.

Not everything we learn has to come from what we do wrong. Are you ready to learn from every right thing you’ve done?

Be irresistible.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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