November 5, 2012
Liz published this at 7:09 am
Self-Talk and Self-Awareness
Last night on PBS I saw a program on success and winning. The following fact almost floored me.
The self-talk in our heads runs at about 300-1000 words / minute.
Imagine the power of that barrage of thoughts. Whether positive or negative, that much energy can direct a life.
Just being aware of when we’re talking to ourselves makes a huge difference.
Taking responsibility for it can make a difference in our lives.
Be Your Future … Now
I believe that to know yourself is key to succeeding in both business and life. Once we figure our own direction and intentions, those of other people have less power to shape and bend us.
For a few years I spent significant time exploring self-actualizing questions.
Am I being true to myself?
I could tie my mind in complex knots over that one question. Being myself, being true to myself, knowing when to trust my perception of others, I found all of these far more complicated than I needed to make them.
In an attempt to sort myself, I did the math. I thought …
I have so many emotions. Do I always have to go with the one I feel most? If Iâ€™m 10% happy does that count less than the 20% nervous I feel? Is one thing I’m feeling more truly me than another? Which should I act on when I’m feeling, love, jealousy, anger, hurt, ignored?
Your answers might be easy, but I could think myself into a tizzy over such questions. Most situations offered too many possibilities.
Finally I looked outside myself for an answer. I saw Dorothyâ€™s personal sense of class, Joâ€™s open acceptance, and Marthaâ€™s grace under pressure. I wished for my motherâ€™s strength and my fatherâ€™s generosity of spirit. I sought out the people who had the qualities that I admired, qualities I wished I could cultivate in myself.
Eventually, I found that I would grow more and with less angst if I used a different question.
Eventually that question became …
Am I being true to who I want to be?
That question I can check in mirror.
The person I want to be would respond like this …
And the benefits of this future question were lovely. I spent less time out-thinking things, more time doing. And with less and less future before me I want to be the future me now.
Who is the “me” in your future? You get to decide that.
This works for teams, couples, and individuals. Try it.
How will you be your future now?
–ME “Liz” Strauss