Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

Thinking, writing, business ideas … You're only a stranger once.

November 15, 2007

How Smart People Can Be So Dense, Difficult, and Frustrating

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 6:55 am

Thinking about What I Think About

think_different

It was Valeria who challenged me and Joe who challenged her. The challenge was simple enough. Choose something that I have a negative response to and find a way to give my view a new spin . . . think “different” . . . change the way we’ve thought in the past.

When she put forth the challenge, Valeria said,

I tag Liz Strauss at Successful and Outstanding Blog(gers) — because she can think different.

which added a bit to the mix. My natural inclination to make things interesting was — BAM! — kicked up a notched because of what Valeria said.

For a whole day, I walked around
thinking about what I think about
so that I might think about
how I might think about
what I think about in a new and different way.

Naturally, my worry was that if I start out as someone who thinks differently, would my “think different” response end me up an answer that looks the same as most people already think?

Think about it. The question was mathematical. Does different + different = same?

I’ve resolved the issue, I think.

The Rules of the Challenge

Write a new blog post in which you “think different”. Interpret the challenge phrase the way you want. (Thanks, Joe, for letting me borrow yours.)

  1. State that the post is a part of the Think Different Challenge and include a link and/ or trackback to this post so that readers know the rules of the challenge. Feel free to use the above banner (inspired, of course, by Seth Godin).
  2. Include a link and/or trackback to the blogger who tagged you.
  3. At the end of your post, go ahead and tag some fellow bloggers. Don’t forget to email them to let them know they have been tagged.

People Really Do Think Differently

All of that thinking made me realize that I really had only one think different topic that was truly close to my heart . . . we too often forget that, from the very start, people really do think differently.

Let’s think this through . . .

When we solve a problem, make a plan, or try to teach something, we offer our thinking process using the order and logic we find natural. Listeners who can arrange ideas in the same way track what we’re trying to communicate.

Folks who think the same way as we do are smart, savvy, and quick on the uptake. Now, really, wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone was as smart as we are?

Truth is, for all practical purposes, most everyone we meet is smart enough. We’re all just smart in different ways. The difference is in how we construct ideas.

Yep, it’s a fact that different brains construct thoughts in different ways.

Agree on the right order and the communication goes smoothly. Choose an order that’s unnatural to the listener and he or she will have trouble following the ideas.
That person will probably not “get” what we’re saying.

That’s when we start to think something like . . . the listener is . . . um, er . . . dense, or inattentive, or just plain difficult. After all, other folks “get it” when we say what we’ve just said. So it must be the listener not the message — right?

I’ve been “dense, inattentive, and just plain difficult.” So have most of my friends. We know because of inane conversations like this.

“I’m not following you. I don’t understand.”

“You can’t be so smart and not understand. You’re just being difficult.”

“Busted! It’s a plot to frustrate us both to no end.”

“Oh. What part don’t you get?”

By the way, I’ve been on both sides of that conversation. I suppose most folks probably have.

Presenting the information in a different way usually works, especially when the listener gets to ask for the data in the order that he or she constructs ideas.

Think “different” about how people think.

People really do think differently.

Don’t you think?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!





Filed under Customer Think, Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog | 12 Comments »




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12 Comments to “How Smart People Can Be So Dense, Difficult, and Frustrating”

  1. November 15th, 2007 at 7:35 am
    Joe Raasch said

    Hi Liz,

    Great that you accept the challenge. FD: I had to read your post twice to get it – heady stuff!

    It is a tremendous communication quality to discern ways to change the conversation so there is clarity. Clarity rules!!!

    “I think” yes, I do.

    Cheers, Joe

  2. November 15th, 2007 at 7:54 am
    Aruni said

    Good morning Liz! I very much agree. I think the way I process info can differ by the day or even the moment. :-)

    Mostly if I have an idea/issue I need to figure out I talk about it with people I trust and then ideas start coming from within or from what they are saying. Then I can figure out a plan and do it. On a Meyers-Brigg test I am one of those crazy ENTJ’s.

  3. November 15th, 2007 at 8:43 am
    Valeria Maltoni said

    Same and different pass through judgment. Very thought provoking in its simplicity, Liz. Aruni is onto something here, too. Once we build trust in our relationships we can put enough distance between how we think differently and the judging part — thus giving both more chances to think the same.

    Social media as a platform has allowed more of us to see more of each other’s thinking and build reservoirs of listening for rainy days ;-) Thank you for picking up on the tag.

  4. November 15th, 2007 at 8:56 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Aruni!
    Just knowing that we all process information differently goes a long way to improving the way we communicate. Suddenly we no longer see things a black and white. People have their way and we have ours different, but not wrong. :)

  5. November 15th, 2007 at 8:58 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Valeria!
    I like how you say that about “putting distance between the difference and judging.” In that distance is room for understanding. :)

  6. November 15th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
    LaurenMarie - Creative Curio said

    I think I’m a “see, talk, do” person. Sometimes it’s hard to get around that barrier of not communicating to see things from the other side. When I’m having difficulty communicating with someone, I like to set my point aside and try to understand the other person first. It’s tough, but it sure is an eye opener when I do it!

    It is so interesting to learn how other people see and process the world and it expands my little perspective when I do, which allows me to understand and interact with people better. I like how that works!

  7. November 15th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
    Sunny Schlenger’s SunCoach Blog » Blog Archive » Communicating Effectively said

    [...] Effectively Communicating effectivelyI love this take on communication from Liz’s Successful and Outstanding Bloggers post [...]

  8. November 15th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi LaurenMarie!
    I’m sorry I was at a meeting and event tonight. . . .

    Yeah, it’s hard for me too. That keeping in mind that other folks don’t think like I do or see what I see. It sure can make things seem like they require a ton of patience. When I take a breath, I realize it’s the information not the person.

  9. November 16th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
    Mother Earth said

    love this

    see
    pause
    see again
    pause
    think
    pause
    see
    talk
    talk
    talk
    share
    talk
    think
    pause
    send to the universe
    trust
    wait
    OK!!

    THEN do

    see??

    HA!!!

    Mother Earth aka Karen Hanrahan
    http://www.bestwellnessconsultant.com

  10. November 16th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Oh Mother Earth!
    That’s fabulous!

    I see!

    HA!

  11. November 21st, 2007 at 1:06 am
    paradise5000 said

    Just a minute I am trying to think here…! I think you have caught me off guard with this analogy. If you have ever read the book of the 7 behavioral life languages by Fred & Anna Kendall it gives us all and idea where we stand and why we think and react the way we do to people and situations. I for one discovered that I am a “Contemplator” so I am always thinking and analyzing things and situations not in an obsessive way but I guess I rely more on the analytical side of my brain most of the time, but that lives me to conclude that you do make a good point here.

  12. November 21st, 2007 at 5:38 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Paradise,
    It’s certainly most important first to understand that we all have our own way of processing thoughts, which you’ve got down. . . . Knowing that, then when someone approaches an idea differently it can become interesting and a chance to see more rather than a frustration. The folks around you look at what you’re not analyzing. :)

    No, I’ll have to look for that book. It sounds fascinating. :)

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