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Outstanding Question From An Outstanding Mentor

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Guest Post by Alex Shalman

Liz and I go back to about mid-march of 2007. I had just launched a donation contest, and asked Liz to participate. Her initial reaction to the contest was that it was transparent link bait, and she was a bit annoyed. I immediately apologized for offending her, she saw past it, and the rest is history. I now consider Liz one of my best friends, and feel like I’ve known her forever.

As far as mentoring goes, we’ve had quite a few phone conversations, where Liz has been a great listener, as well as given me powerful injections of wisdom. I remember the exact moment when I first heard Liz use this question. It was during live open mic night of SOBCon. Yes, she’s even more amazing in person!

It’s simple:

“What do you do when you’re not doing this?”

I’ve used this very question to start countless conversations, and have been nothing but amazed each time at how people opened up. Whether talking to a new classmate, or even a random person I decided to talk to during my day. It never ceases to amaze me at how much people appreciate when you take an interest.

It also helps to practice the arts of proactive and empathetic listening to dig deeper into the conversation. It’s funny, but most people ask a question, listen to the response, and then go on about themselves.

Experience the outstanding response I’ve been getting with Liz’s magic question. Ask it of a stranger, really listen to what they say, and follow up at least 5 questions deep. You might be amazed just as I have been.

Btw, I would like to hear some other questions that you use to open up conversations with strangers. Let’s all share in the comment box below!

Alex Shalman

Thanks, Alex. The question seems to have served us both well. I’m smiling to think that we have met at the core of the matter where we both agree. . . . I consider you a friend, as well.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

Mondays and Futures

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I've been thinking . . .

about Mondays.

Mondays get me thinking about the future. I am moved out of this place and time. I think about what I am going to do, must get done, will accomplish, rather than what I am doing. Mondays are goal-oriented, live-in-the-future times.

Is that what causes the burden of Mondays? The entire future is larger than any one day should bear.

Would I live my Mondays with more joy and wonder, would I be more thoughtful and more efficient, if I lived my Mondays in the now?

Do you find yourself spending most of Monday living for the rest of the week?

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Remembering Dots

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Connecting dots with The Idea Dude

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Remember when? reminiscing is something we often do. Sometimes it is with a friend, walking back together to a special point in time. Sometimes it is in solitude to replay a fond farewell, a sad passing or a victorious moment. Reflection stirs our souls, brings a sigh, a smile, a tear. We look to the mirror of our past to draw inspiration, strength and comfort.

Remember because memories last beyond our lifetimes

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Crushed by Insoc tells us We need to KNOW what humanity remembers… Because with the coming of speech, comes the ability of man to remember beyond his own lifetime.

Surely our blogs are a manifestation of that speech, their existence will help us all remember this world beyond our lifetimes.

Memories are relived in unexpected ways

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For Ruth, each recipe made me think of a special moment from my childhood. The inspiration for her present comes from memories of the past. I remember the scent of whatever was cooking that clung to her apron when my grandmother hugged me…I can’t recall ever hearing my grandmother speak. Obviously I did, but all the other images are so much more powerful.

Memories offer painted pictures, the smell of the sea or a freshly picked flower, the sound of a train, a few chords from old song, the warmth of a hug, one seemingly ordinary moment can send us on an extraordinary journey to the past.

Try to remember to never forget,

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Julie reminds her 5-year old To cherish the little things, little but not insignificant. Like chalk drawings, carousals, kisses, laughs and hugs. She says, When I look back, I recall most clearly the unexpected hilarity, the joy found in what would normally be mundane.

We are the sum of our experiences…

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. . . says Wolfgang, adding that Memories, especially painful ones, help us to refine ourselves.

We often forget that our memories from our past can influence our future. We can choose to take the unhappiest ones to justify why we should be unkind, horrid or mean, or we can choose to take the brightest ones to inspire us to best that we can be.

What memories will you reflect upon today?

May the dots be with you!

Vern, The Idea Dude

What Do You Argue for?

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I've been thinking . . .

about what we argue for.

While I was gone, I spoke with many folks about their plans for the future. Many folks have a clear vision of where they are going. Some think about getting the world to come to them. Others are still outright searching.

The searchers often are stopped by what they see as obstacles.

“I don’t have the support. I don’t have the money. I’m awful at doing this one part.” Then they argue in detail why it’s so hard to come by what they need.

I hear myself do the same thing sometimes. “I need more time and more resouces,” I say. I wonder if that’s really what I need.

I wonder how I’ll ever do something when I spend time convincing folks why I’ll never have what I need to get that sometbing done?

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Supposing that I was determined to make a plan happen, would I still be convincing folks I didn’t have what I need?

Would I still be arguing for my limits?

When we argue for our limits is that just a smokescreen?

Liz's Signature

Steve Farber and the OS!M

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Get Extreme

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Making a commitment, taking a stand, being a leader takes a lot. Some days it calls for just that little bit more than we might be able to summon up. We look at our dream and wonder are we up to the challenge.

Steve Farber, SOB, says that’s when we find out whether we’re extreme leaders.

Pursue the OS!M

“There’s no such thing as leadership without that experience of that OS!M,” Steve Farber.

Yeah!

Since I saw that, every time I face that wall, I think “Oh yeah, I feel this way because, I’m an extreme leader.”

Great news! Steve is offering his audio series, Extreme Leadership: In Pursuit of the OS!M. as downloads for free. Can’t beat a price like that. Enjoy!

Steve was with us at SOBCon last year as I finish up the content plans for this year’s program. I’m hoping he’ll be with us again for SOBCon08 in the Spring. News coming soon.

I’m still at BlogWorldExpo.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!