Motivation Archives - Page 94 of 146

Sunday Morning Light: Answering Why Givers Don't Ask to Get Paid

December 30, 2007 by Liz

A New Answer and a Hit

Then an audience came. Real folks showed up to push me out of my head into the daylight. I got advice, ideas, tough love, and friendship. I listened carefully to every word, and I’m still listening.

The best part of community is finding out that other folks have stopped where you’re stuck standing.

From the comment, I saw the dots connecting to form the message I took from that conversation. It’s simple enough.

When If I give away my time, I’m agreeing to that contract.
If that’s not working, I need to stop doing it.

Thank you all for helping me stand outside of myself
to see the disconnects in my thinking.

I’m a lucky girl . . .

. . . a lucky girl who’s decided that
I’m hitting one out of the park in 2008.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

(Dear Jeff, I know you hate baseball analogies.)

On a Blue December Night: Asking Why Do Givers Not Ask to Be Paid?

December 29, 2007 by Liz

This year, 2007, has been one of learning and getting a business off the ground. Along the way, I have made my mistakes in choosing the folks I’ve worked with, and I’ve been blessed by working with folks who were heroes in every way.

But the hardest one of all I had to deal with was, by far, myself.

First, I had to learn to value what I do.

Then, I had to learn how to explain it to others.

Finally, I’m learning I have to ask them — tell them — that I need to get paid.

Sounds simple doesn’t it?
Yeah, it’s a lecture I’ve given often enough to everyone. You could probably find several versions of it right here on the pages of this very blog.

Yet, twice in the last week, I heard someone say, “I’m not giving free advice anymore” at the same time he was asking for free advice from me.

All I said was, “Yeah, I know people do the same thing to me.”

So I guess you could say that a couple of good friends sat me down. Well, they’ve been trying for a while now, but I’m a slippery character. Maybe I’m at a point where it means something, like whether I’ll keep blogging, or maybe I’m just growing up and ready to take responsibility. Or maybe it’s that I think it’s time that I build my own dream.

Whatever the case, one of them challenged me to answer the question in a blog post. This is it.

“Why do givers not ask to be paid?”

I cycled through the answers. You might be surprised with where I landed. I sure was. But, when I tested my answer, it held up. And, when I handed it back, the questioner agreed.

Is it pride?
No, I think of the givers I know. They’re not prideful people. They’d humble themselves for a cause.

Is it fear?
Not really. The real givers I know would walk through fire for the people they care about.

Is it a disdain for money?
Not a chance. Givers I know understand that money is a tool that makes it easier to give more and more generously.

So what is it then?

It’s the DNA of a giver. A giver lives generosity from the cellular level. Giving is without strings.

It’s not sensible and sure won’t pay the rent.

So how do I draw the line between the giver and the business person?

I’m asking for your advice.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Change the World: See the Light, See the Promise

December 24, 2007 by Liz

Seeing What’s Inside

Every year at Christmas, my mother had her own tradition. She began buying gifts and wrapping them long before other folks even thought of such things. It was efficient. It was productive. It allowed her to wrap up the gifts in the same careful way that I choose my words every morning.

Gosh, the presents! They were large and small! They were tiny and incredible. They were many, and they were for so many. They sat under a tree that was decorated with such care that I realize now it must be the reason that I spend hours rearranging word that I write until they’re in order.

Under that tree and piled through the large room as proof that my mom had found a reason to return every favor, and every smile she had received. Each gift was wrapped more beautifully than the one before. The bows were crafted and carefully chosen.

The part of the tradition seems only my mother’s was that she waited until Christmas Eve to put names on the presents. Until then, every present only had a tiny number. She said that it was that we wouldn’t shake the gifts with our names and be tempted to open them early. But the result was that those little numbers filled my imagination with wonder.

You see, I didn’t sort the boxes into theirs and mine. I only saw the abundance and the promise of good surprises.

And it made me think about what could be inside the boxes. I could see them shining inside.

Imagine if we look at people — the ones we love, the ones we know, the ones we’ve not met — the same way.

Gosh, the abundance and the good surprises inside each of us! See the light? See the promise? Our light shines when we shine on them.

See the gift they are. Be the gift you are. It makes us glow from the inside out.

Thank you for the abundance and surprises you are to me.

I’m a very lucky girl.

We can change the world — just like that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

Dots resolving to change

December 23, 2007 by Liz

Connecting dots with The Idea Dude

December for me is a great time to take stock of what I managed to achieve during this year and then look at all the things that perhaps fell through the cracks or activities I could have managed better. New Year Resolutions for me aren’t radical changes but adjustments that I remind myself to make over time.

Resolving to succeed

Ben’s right about most of the resolutions we make each year. They never seem to last, fading as fast as the winter sun. Most resolutions are about ourselves and how we think we should be or could be better. I think we often look at ourselves and find the things we dislike the most. Then by uttering a few magic words wrapped in a bow called a New Year resolution, we hope they will go away. Of course they don’t.

Resolving to choose wisely

Choosing resolutions that have some hope of making a making difference to us must have all of the following ingredients.

It must matter to us. It can’t be something copied from someone because it sounded good and altruistic.
It must be measurable. Anything that isn’t measurable in a tangible or meaningful has no hope of succeeding like starting a journey without knowing where it will end.
We must enjoy doing it. Motivation is generally fueled by the emotion that something we do makes us feel so good, we want to keep doing it.
The changes we make should impact those around us. Because our momentum is increased by their feedback and their well-being.

Resolving to change positively

What is a resolution really but a commitment to change oneself and all around us in a positive way. Liz has the best advice about how to make positive changes stick. She’s right of course when she says, When you make a positive change that sticks, other positive things will happen too.

Resolving to be kinder to ourselves

Angela reminds us to be kinder to ourselves. What a wonderful idea. We do tend to beat ourselves up for not doing something or not doing enough of other things. At the end of the day, we are all human with frailties and failings. But we are also endowed with character that helps we look forward to just being a little better than the day before.

Being kinder to ourselves makes us kinder to others too!
This is my wish for all of us.

May the dots be with you!

Vern, The Idea Dude

Click here to see more dots we connected

Let Go of the Past to Own the Shiny, Bright Future

December 23, 2007 by Liz

I Still Remember When . . .

Last night I had a conversation with a dear friend. He brought up a relationship that has caused him some pain. I heard him retell a story I’ve heard him tell more than once before . . . only to explain again why what another person did was wrong and manipulative.

While he talked, he had totally lost connection with his smile.

I wondered aloud why he was telling me the story again. He told me it was because what had happened was so wrong. The rest of the conversation went something like this.

“I’m over it now.”

“No, you’re not. If that were true, you wouldn’t be talking about it.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“If you could shift your focus . . .”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe it’s not about what that person did to you, but how broken that person is to have done that at all.”

“You think I should go see her.”

“No, I think you should quit giving that person power. What if you make it about her and not about you? That event shows the screwy way that she looks at the world. It just happened to be you that got hurt that time. If you let it go, she no longer has any power over you.” . . .

It took me a long, long lifetime to learn what I said in that few sentences there.

It’s the same in business and in life. When we leave bad feelings in the past, we get new power over our future. It’s a good thought to hold during holiday times.

May your future be shiny and bright.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Personal Identity: Fear of Imposing or Fear of Beholding?

December 21, 2007 by Liz

Asking for Help

I’m looking at myself and looking my business.
I’m looking at what I have done well in the past.

I’ve been reading recently fabulous articles for big and small business folks. The great ones say to . . . be prepared, be ready, and get in the habit of asking for help at every step. For years, they’ve even given advice on how to ask. So have I. So have my friends and colleagues.

the big things they say are “Don’t be afraid to ask.” and “Think about what you hear.”

Just the other night the wisest and best-suited business advisor I know said to me, “I want to help you. How can I help?”

I sit here with the questions, and they seem too much and too many to ask.

Here I am trusting the world with my thoughts . . . and I can’t ask a simple question, not even the first one. Well I guess the first is the hardest.

Where does this issue of trust come from?

Is it a fear of imposing or a fear of beholding?

I know which it is in my case. Note my comment below.

Do you know which it is when you want to ask for help, but don’t?

Thank you,