relationships Archives - Page 29 of 54

Thanks to Week 112 SOBs

December 15, 2007 by Liz

Successful and Outstanding Bloggers

Let me introduce the bloggers
who have earned this official badge of achievement,

and the right to call themselves
Successful Blog SOBs.

I invite them to take a badge home to display on their blogs.

They take the conversation to their readers,
contribute great ideas, challenge us, make us better, and make our businesses stronger.

I thank all of our SOBs for thinking what we say is worth passing on.
Good conversation shared can only improve the blogging community.

Should anyone question this SOB button’s validity, send him or her to me. Thie award carries a “Liz said so” guarantee, is endorsed by Kings of the Hemispheres, Martin and Michael, and is backed by my brothers, Angelo and Pasquale.

Want to become an SOB?

If you’re an SO-Wanna-B, you can see the whole list of SOBs and learn how to be one by visiting the SOB Hall of Fame– A-Z Directory . Click the link or visit the What IS an SOB?! page in the sidebar.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

Generosity, Gratitude, Wisdom, and Fools

December 14, 2007 by Liz

Wise or Foolish . . . Which am I?

What a fool believes, the wise man has the power to reason away.
—Doobie Brothers

My dad used to say, “A fool and his money are soon parted.” If time is money, I guess that counts for time too. So when generosity foolish?

Many are the occasions on which people ask, sometimes expect, us to help them. I’m speaking of naked requests from people we don’t know, asked as if we do volunteer work for them. I often wonder at this. I know we’re told it doesn’t hurt to ask. Yet, we’re also told to be generous first. I wonder why they haven’t heard that second part? It sure affects a first impression. Why don’t they see that a person’s time given to them is time that could be spent earning and enjoying family and friends?

Far fewer are the times when special individuals write to ask for help to accomplish a goal. They reach out with gratitude. Yes, the gratitude comes with the request. It’s only natural to respond with generosity. The fairness of this, I understand.

Some folks who call us a friend, love us like they “love” their favorite doctor. They value us while they’re feeling in need or unwell. Later they forget to say “thanks” in the way cured patients forget to pay hospital bills.

Other folks go out of their way to make sure that we know our generosity didn’t go unnoticed. These friends are always here with a smile and a kind word, even when they’re gone.

The fool in me believes that all generosity finds a way back eventually.
The wise person I am knows that could be a foolish view.

This week my son asked for advice. At the end of the call, he said a quiet, “thank you.”

The fool in me was grateful.
Gratitude is wise.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

The Most Powerful Force in the Universe

December 11, 2007 by Liz

In Business and in Life

It’s been said that only two things motivate us — fear and love.

Every cause, every effect, every random act of kindness, every apparent generosity can be traced back to a fear that something will be lost or love that wants to be shared. It seems reasonable and in keeping with humans as I know us.

Through my life, I’ve found other pairs of words to describe this same concept.
In his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey talked about deprivation and abundance. Allan Cox, in his new book, Your Inner CEO, describes the looming threat and the guardian presence. I’ve often spoken of dealing from a point of weakness or a point of strength.

Each pair of words really points to the same thing. We can be motivated by a need to protect ourselves or by a feeling of open participation.

We Get to Pick

Even with our best effort and imaginings, we have no control over many things that happen around us. (Maybe we could, but I’ve yet to meet anyone who’s quite that evolved.) We have total control over how we respond to all of that input. It’s in that response that our motivation most counts. Here’s what I mean.

Living in Fear, Deprivation, and Weakness

When I respond with fear, people sense that I’m holding back. I know it too. I can’t bring all of my potential to a situation. Part of my brain is taken up with strategizing how I’ll respond when something goes wrong. If a friend has offered help, fear makes it easy to believe that friend thinks of me as someone in need. Life is about self-preservation.
When I respond from deprivation, I can’t enjoy a success of my own or of that of someone I admire. I’m always looking for what I’m lacking. If a friend gets a promotion, I think that could have been, should have been, never will be me. Life is about whether I get my piece.
When I respond from a place of weakness, I look for the slight in the words or the actions of the people around me. I’m protective and defensive, and I often find what I seek. Life is about whether people care about me.

Living in Love, Abundance, and Strength

When I respond with love, people sense I’m fully present. By definition, all of my potential is focused on the moment and the people I see. If a friend has offered help, I can answer with gratitude and partnership, believing in the good intentions that fuel the gift. Life is about enjoying the people I’m with and what we’re doing.
When I respond from abundance, I can enjoy every success I see, because I know that the universe has plenty for everyone. I can give what I know, because I know more will come back to me. If a friend gets a windfall, I can celebrate, knowing that my turn is still available, and my time will come. Life is about sharing good things with everyone.
When I respond from a place of strength, I overlook a slight misstep, and I forgive the signs that we’re all human. I know that most unkind events are merely how I interpret them and not really about me. Life is about understanding people, not them understanding me.

That last sentence of that last point is the key.

When we live in a world of fear, deprivation, and weakness, our world shrinks. We become the center. When we live in a world of love, abundance, and strength, the world expands and our lives revolve around other people.

It’s such a lonely existence to be the center of the universe. It’s an unhappy state to always be protecting things from what we imagine could be. Holding tight to one place means we never move forward.

Peak performance in business and life requires from love, abundance, and strength.

There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer . . . — Emmett Fox

Love is the most powerful force in the universe.

How will you use it to change your business and your life?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz to reach your potential.

Six Steps to a Remarkably Powerful, Personal Network

December 10, 2007 by Liz

It’s NOT Who You Know

My recent trip to the UK has me thinking about networking. I’ve never really liked the term, it makes pictures of strangers and stress in my head. So I think in terms of meeting people instead.

We live and interact with people. People help, support, and reach out. They interfere, compete, and ignore. Relationships with people can make the road to our dreams easier and the load on shoulders lighter. They can also thwart our plans and fill our heads with dust.

People who know where we want to go and how hard we’re working to get there can be a most powerful force. Love, friendship, camaraderie, influence, credibility, trust, authenticity all add up to relationships.

Every business is relationships and relationships are every one’s business.

When Fewer Is More

A living network is more than a list of contacts or friends that we’ve exchanged cursory messages with. A true network is people who know us and people we trust with our reputation. If we choose them well, our network of influencers expands our knowledge and our reach exponentially further and deeper simultaneously.

Networks like that take time to build and require attention. Two main qualities describe a network that is remarkably powerful.

A remarkably powerful network is limited in size. Small is flexible and makes it easy to stay closely connected.

A remarkably powerful network is varied in experience and expertise, but in agreement on high standards of quality in all things.

You might have heard “It’s not what you know, but who you know.”

That’s not exactly true.

Six Steps to a Remarkably Powerful, Personal Network

A living network can open doors and make connections to people we only wish we knew. Follow these six steps to build and care for a living network that will powerfully support you as you move forward in your personal and professional life.

Know what you know and know its value. What you know is important. Don’t overvalue it. Don’t undervalue it. Simply understand how common or rare your knowledge and your unique skill set are. Know where they are useful and think through who might be delighted to find someone who does what you do.

Build relationships not an address book. Relationships grow in value and mature with age. They also require time and attention to do so. Choose people you would bet your reputation on — people who share your standards and have similar goals. People who set the bar where you do will connect to other people you’ll want to know.

It’s about who knows what you know (and who knows what your skills are.) Learn to explain your expertise easily to people who have influence. Influencers naturally talk about folks who are great at what they do. Influencers get asked for recommendations. If no one knows what you do well, it won’t matter who knows you.

Be the first to offer help. Be interested in everyone you meet. Ask questions, listen actively, and be first to offer a favor without strings. People remember sincere curiosity and true generosity, especially from someone they’ve just met. Every generous act is an opportunity to share your expertise with those who might help you. Do it unconditionally and they’ll remember both the work and you.

Watch for and welcome every wise teacher you encounter. Wisdom and experience are a prize. True teachers show themselves by offering advice, expecting nothing in return. Mentors who come your way, offering experience and connections, see something in you. Let them help you discover what that is and what it could be if you let it grow.

Take every opportunity to reach out and to stay connected. Know that listening and speaking with friends is how we keep their interests in our hearts and minds. Stay interested in them and most of them will stay interested in you.

Keeping an eye toward reality and respect is how to develop a remarkably powerful network. This relational group will be a much smaller subset of the network of folks that you know. Still, as they say, we reap what we sow. A network built from relationships that are carefully tended is likely to become a remarkable group of lifelong friends and colleagues.

With a powerful personal network, it seems so much easier to become all our potential will allow.

Sometimes fewer is also more. Are you looking for a few good connections?

Be irresistible.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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