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Sometimes We Outgrow Our Stories

October 31, 2016 by Jane Boyd

Sometimes we outgrow our stories.
Sometimes we outgrow our stories.

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend. We were sharing stories from days gone by about each of our lives. We hopped from one story to the next — based on what each of us were sharing. It was really an incredible discussion as we were each learning from the other through the power of the stories we were telling.

Over the last few years I’ve been much more aware of the way I share my own personal stories with others. Of what it is that I’m putting out into the world. And of how the stories I tell impact others as well as myself. It’s become somewhat of an acquired skill — being truly aware of exactly what my stories are and how I share them. Of what they mean to me. I suppose you could say I have a new level of self awareness when it comes to the stories I tell myself and others.

Anyway, there my friend and I were sharing stories. Funny stories, sad stories and stories that make you think — that cause you to question your perspective on things. We reached a point in the discussion, where it seemed like the right moment for me to share a story that I often tell. One from my past that has always brought to mind a series of mixed thoughts and emotions. I told the story just as I always have. And the response was the same as it often is — one of interest and engagement. Yet, as I was telling the story I realized something. I wasn’t feeling the same way I usually did about this particular story. In fact, the further I got into the story the more I realized that I might just have outgrown the story. That perhaps it was actually no longer as relevant to my life or the person I am today. By the time I was finished the story, it was as though I knew the story wouldn’t be sitting on the same bookshelf of stories in my life any longer. It truly was a story from my past — and it no longer represented who I am today.

It’s important to remember that we decide the stories that decide our lives. And that sometimes we outgrow our stories — because we change, move on or let go of things that once held onto us. Learning to recognize when it’s time to retire a story so you can move on to write new stories in your life is essential. It’s the difference between building your future vs living in the past.

Put Your Mind to It

The next time you find yourself sharing stories about who you are, your life and you past — take a moment to reflect. Are they really the stories you want to tell about yourself? Do they align with the person you are today?

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Jane Boyd is a Partner in GeniusShared. She is also the CEO of 45 Conversations Media & Education Ltd, a Canadian education and training company based just outside of Vancouver Canada. She works with educators, business, community and government in the areas of early learning, work-life, community development and employee engagement.

Filed Under: P2020, Sharing Genius Tagged With: Jane Boyd, stories, stories we tell ourselves, the stories we tell ourselves

The Intrinsic Value of Stories and How They Change Lives

June 4, 2013 by Rosemary

By Tiffany Matthews

Why do we tell stories?

In the olden days, stories were told around campfires to pass time and to pass on the history of our people. They were lessons wrapped in myth, meant to teach us about the ways of the world and principles that our ancestors before us once stood for. Today stories continue to be an influential medium especially through clever storytelling.

As children, we grew up listening to and eventually reading fairy tales, only to be told later by adults that these classic tales are not true. Real life is no fairy tale and that we should not believe in happily-ever-after. Neil Gaiman refutes this and has emphasized the importance of stories, even fairy tales, through this statement:

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

In his children’s book, The Graveyard Book, Gaiman further reiterates the value of stories and how one story can change a person’s life.

“We who make stories know that we tell lies for a living. But they are good lies that say true things, and we owe it to our readers to build them as best we can. Because somewhere out there is someone who needs that story. Someone who will grow up with a different landscape, who without that story will be a different person. And who with that story may have hope, or wisdom, or kindness, or comfort. And that is why we write.”

Another author, Stephen King, confirms the power of stories and how they can influence lives. Writing tales that resonate with readers goes beyond fame or wealth. In On Writing, King said:

“Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life as well.”

Stories allow us a brief respite from the daily pressures of life, an escape into a place where anything and everything is possible. Though these tales may revolve around fictional characters, they reflect the same struggles that we go through and inspire us to overcome these challenges just as they were able to. This is why I agree with Gaiman’s sentiment, that one story could change your life forever.

A story about a woman reconciling with a long lost father may seem ordinary to people, but to one person, it could be the catalyst that would launch him or her on a quest to find an estranged parent. That touching tale could spur you into action and hunt for that missing parent through Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn (this is more on the professional side though), a social database like Mylife.com or whatever means you could find. It could take you on a journey you never expected and discover the infinite possibilities you never considered before.

Stories are powerful things, portable magic that you can share so that others too can find the inspiration they need to defeat–both literary and real–dragons.

Author’s Bio: Based in San Diego, California, Tiffany Matthews writes about travel, fashion and anything under the sun at wordbaristas.com. You can find her on Twitter as
@TiffyCat87.

Filed Under: Successful Blog, Writing Tagged With: bc, creativity, stories, Writing

What Is the Best True Story You Could Tell about You?

June 28, 2011 by Liz

Following or Finding a Path 2

2016 GeniusShared Read from Liz StraussLeaders Choose the Stories They Live

As we grow up, we hear stories about ourselves: how we learned to walk, how we learned to talk, how we behaved, how we treated our siblings and friends. The stories predate the ability of our brains to remember the events. So we rely on the people telling them.

In incremental ways that grow larger over time, the stories people tell and the stories we tell ourselves become the definition of the person we see in the mirror. And when we’re in doubt about who that is, we’ve learned to look outside — to the stories — to describe the person we are inside. … if we just listen, pay attention long enough, the people and the stories will tell us who we are and why we’re here.

How many stories in your head are told from someone else’s point of view?
How many stories in your head are told by a weaker, smaller, less experienced version of you?
How many stories in your head are untrue?

Leaders live up to their best truth.
Leaders choose which stories we live.

What Is the Best True Story You Could Tell about You?

Leadership is taking responsibility for who we are now and who we will be. If we want to know our uniqueness and own it, we have to evaluate the stories we’ve been living and believing to decide what we know is true. We need to think deeply on the stories we’ve been telling about ourselves.

Leaders know their uniqueness and own it. We don’t need to invent a new tale. We need to recognize the true story of who we are as the leader we’ve decided to be.

Our cells are genetically programmed to do some things better than others. Our brain needs to pay attention to what our cells know. We can see the answers throughout our history and in our experience. Here’s how to do that …

  • Collect the stories about yourself — true stories of your life.
  • Identify and share the stories that make you stronger. You’ll know them because you like what they say about you.
  • Stop telling and believing in the stories that hold you back. File them as historically true but irrelevant.
  • Recognize your values by seeing them in the true stories of your life you choose.
  • Use your values to keep your true story true and valuable for everyone you serve.

Reflect on the stories you tell about yourself and decide which are those that truthfully represent the best value and values in you. Decide which stories truly define you and which ones can be left behind as now meaningless. Claim the true story that is your uniqueness, your skills and your abilities, your image, your traits, and your potential.

When you do that, you’ll take command of who you are now. That’s when you’ll begin to see your fit and purpose — how you individually meet a need or solve a problem in a way that no other person can. You’ll attract people who share those values. You’ll find it easier to talk about what you do, because you’ll know that your life stands a proof.

You’re the only one qualified to identify your true story — you are the person who has been living it every minute of it. Take the idea seriously. Listen to what you know about yourself.

What is the best true story you could tell about you?

Be irresistible.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

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Filed Under: Business Life, Inside-Out Thinking, management, Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, Leaderhsip, LinkedIn, sobcon, stories, value propostion

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