Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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July 7, 2009

How Do You Keep Negative Comments from Turning You Around?

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 8:55 am

Sometimes It’s Semantics …

Who hasn’t had the joyous experience of a negative comment? We overhear them around the corner, confront them in conversation, and find them written boldly on our blogs. It helps to remember that they’re often more about the person talking … what that person heard, misheard, or never listened to from the start.

It helps a lot if we don’t make such things about ourselves.

A friend asked me once how I handled negative comments on my blog. My first sentence was, “Well I’m a saloonkeeper’s daughter and I used to teach first grade …” I had no idea how that sounded until she laughed out loud.

How do you keep negative words from turning you around?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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9 Comments to “How Do You Keep Negative Comments from Turning You Around?”

  1. July 7th, 2009 at 9:28 am
    Laurie said

    You said that many of the times the negative comment isn’t really about you. That is so true. Whether it is a comment in a blog like you talk about or something a person has said about you or to you in the immediate world around you, most of the time, their comment is a reflection of some insecurity or battle they are deal fighting in their heart. It tool me a long time to realize this with my mother in law. I have taken many shots from her over the years that really hurt. Then I realized it wasn’t about me at all. It was about her and her insecurities. Knowing that made all the difference. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. July 7th, 2009 at 9:36 am
    Jeff Hurt said

    How do I keep negative words from turning me around? I stop, take a breath and try to interpret what’s underneath those comments. What’s the motivation? If the comments feel like a personal attack, I might respond with “Ouch, did you intend for that to be negative towards me or am I misreading it?”

  3. July 7th, 2009 at 10:17 am
    TonyLawrence said

    I have much too high an opinion of my own magnificence to be bothered by ankle-biters.

    No, seriously - like Jeff, I take a deep breath and try to find something I can agree with or at least understand.

    But my initial reaction is usually far more primitive and brutish :-)

  4. July 7th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
    Serenity J. Knutson said

    Like Jeff, I also tend to take a direct approach to negative comments. In general, I find that using humor in a reply can really defuse some potential ugliness, whether in a comment thread or in private email conversations. As they say, “Think before hitting ’send’…” :)

  5. July 7th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Laurie,
    So much of life is realizing that we’re not the center of everything that happens in our lives. Whenever I feel an overriding bad emotion, I look to get myself out of the center of the picture and sure enough I find it’s often not at all about me.

  6. July 7th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Jeff!
    Candor and vulnerability are powerful responses. It’s hard to fight against someone who stands open and ready to hear what we’re saying. Your responses are ones we can all learn from. :)

  7. July 7th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Tony,
    I say “thank you,” and write the primitive thoughts in white type in the white space. heh heh. :)

  8. July 7th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Serenity!
    Humor works with people who want to be our friends really, but I find I can’t use it with folks who don’t like me. I never tease someone who’s not a friend first ever. It backfires even when I’m trying to open up a friendship.

    Think before hitting “send” literally or figuratively should be a rule for living. :)

  9. July 7th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
    Amy said

    Then again there is misinterpreting the comment as negative when it wasn’t intended to be whatsoever.

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