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Yes, Please! — Thank You! — You’re Welcome!

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I've been thinking . . .

I’ve been thinking about a post called Dante would be proud, at the Church of the Customer for two weeks now. The post is only 7 lines long, but points to a Wall Street Journal article about a law firm that is teaching it’s partners to have manners.

It sounds like they’re learning via PowerPoint. Ouch!

I can understand the position they’re in. I lost my manners once. I’m not sure when or where they went. Maybe they left when we changed to a casual dress code at work, or maybe they flew the coop when parents let their kids call adults by first names. I don’t know

I just know that mine were restored by a lovely 8-year-old Australian girl.

We were at a gathering at a home where I was staying while working on a publishing project. The young lady’s mother was an author on the project and is a friend. This young lady herself is a fabulous conversation partner. While we were talking, I volunteered to help her fill her plate from the massive buffet that was being offered. My arms were longer.

Each time I asked, Would you like this?

My sweet new acquaintance answered with, Yes, please. Thank you! or No, thank you.

How could I NOT say You’re welcome to a smiling face saying that? How could I not MEAN You’re welcome? It felt good to help her choose what she liked.

Several Yes, pleases in a row took me back to second grade, hearing my teacher say, We’re polite to show other people we care and to give them our respect.

I’ve been saying, Yes, please. No, thank you. and You’re Welcome. ever since. In a way, saying, Yes please, makes me feel brand new — like a kid again.

Yes please is so much more fun to say than just saying Yes.

This weekend I’m going to be saying Yes, please! Thank you! You’re Welcome! whenever I can

Thank you for reading this. . . . Thank you again. 🙂

Liz's Signature

Change the World: Breaking the Law of My Limits

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What If I Stopped Saying I Can’t?

Change the World!

Those who advise people to follow their passion, no matter where it leads, are believers in intentionality*. Many meditation programs that advise that imagining ‘success’, what one wants to happen, is the first step towards its realization, are believers in intentionality (the second step, they will tell you, is acting in accordance). Those who will tell you that having the courage to ‘real-ize’ what you were always intended to be and do, by living on the Edge beyond the reach of civilization’s safety net, is the only sane way to live, the only hope for us as individuals and as a culture, are believers in intentionality. And so are the ‘power of positive thinking’ and ‘appreciative inquiry’ proponents. . . .

The word intention literally means stretching toward. The word aspiration means breathing toward. — Dave Pollard, How to Save the World

If I say I can’t, you can bet I can’t.
I can argue for my personal limits with a clean, clear case of exactly what I can’t do — certain beyond certain, that I can’t do what I say I can’t. The future is easy to predict when I lay down the law of my personal limits.

Suppose just one time, or maybe once and for all, that instead of the law of my limits, I laid down my can’t do arguments?

I intend to break the law of my limits.
I will do something I once believed I could never do.
I aspire without a care, without fear of failing.
I will stretch toward, breathe toward learning.

If I trip or fall, I’ll simply adjust my steps.
If I get lost, I’ll stop for help.

I don’t need luck, when I can make things happen.

I intend to stop fighting for limits, and start exploring possibilities.

That’s a reality I can make happen.

We can change the world — just like that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

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If you’re ready to change the world, send me your thoughts in a guest post. Feel free to take the gorgeous Change the World image up there that Sandy designed back to your blog. Or help yourself to this one.

Change the World!

Email me about what you’re doing or what we might do. Let’s change the world one bit at a time together. Together it can’t take forever.

My How We’ve Grown!

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I've been thinking . . .
We don’t grow at steady pace. Maybe our cells do, but we don’t. We grow in spurts, in leaps and jumps. We grow, often without even knowing.

After 8th grade graduation, I was incredibly hungry. That first year in high school, I was eating twice as much at lunch. It was hard to miss that I was growing. By the end of 9th grade, I had grown three inches in one year. To my mother’s dismay, clothes in stores were too short for me. We started designing and making what I would wear. I grew two more inches the following year.

My son was the same way. When he would start eating two or three times as much, we would know he was growing. We’d get ready to replace his wardrobe. With my son, just as my mother did, I kept marks on the wall to record how tall he was getting.

My son and I get incredibly hungry about learning too.

We’re saturation learners. We go live in the knowledge. We become whatever it is that we want to know. That’s how I became a dancer, a teacher, a publisher, a blogger. That’s how he mastered stop action video, how he became an award-winning webmaster, how he aced the final on game theory.

Benchmarks for learning are there for all of us. While we’re kids in school, we have report cards. They get us to stop for a brief moment. They get us to know what we know now that we didn’t know then. Classes and courses summarize outcomes to remind us of what we’ve picked up while we took them. In traditional jobs, performance appraisals are set up to get us to look at progess.

We need a reminder to reflect on how far we’ve come in living our lives.

Sometimes we’re so busy living, we don’t stop to see how we’ve grown. We especially don’t see the wisdom, knowledge, and experience. We tend to look at ourselves only when things are going wrong.

One incredibly cool part of blogging is that a blog is a record of where we have been.

This weekend I’m going back in time. I’m going on a walk through my very first posts for the distinct purpose of seeing how I’ve grown. Like I used to with my old journals, I bet I’ll find myself answering the person I was when I wrote those posts.

Every now and then, I need to stop on this road. I need to see where I’ve been, to see how I’ve grown, to let go of the myths about myself that I might still be carrying. That’s how I know where I’m going.

That’s how I make sure I haven’t left anything important back where I was.

Liz's Signature

Change the World: Let People Out of the Boxes

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They Had made Up My Mind

Change the World!

I once worked in a highly political culture. It took a while to know that politica played a huge role there. I had moved to a new city and a new job. I had to sort what was the company and what was the culture in part of the country.

As any new employee, I got to know the folks in my department. They showed me the “ropes” of the company, how things worked, and who was who. I took what I was told on face value.

Time went by. I found feet and my way around. I got to know what worked for me. I got to know what didn’t work too. I figured out that some of those folks who showed me around in the early days had political reasons for telling me things they told me.

I didn’t take into account how my beliefs about the company had been affected by conversations with those political people. It was a while before I woke to realize something about me I didn’t like.


I had opinions about people — people I didn’t know. I had become part of a culture that put people in little boxes.

My mind had people organized by one or two traits and their political clout within the company. It was part of the cultural organizational chart, the oral history handed down to me when I arrived there. I had bought it, as fishers say, “hook, line and sinker.”

That morning I started over. I started talking to all of the folks at work with clear intent of getting to know them. The more I talked, the more I enjoyed the folks that I was getting to know. I found that I’d been missing out on some pretty cool, intelligent people.

The world changed that day, when I let the people out of the boxes.

We can change the world — just like that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

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If you’re ready to change the world, send me your thoughts in a guest post. Feel free to take the gorgeous Change the World image up there that Sandy designed back to your blog. Or help yourself to this one.

Change the World!.

Email me about what you’re doing or what we might do. Let’s change the world one bit at a time together. Together it can’t take forever.

Going for the Gestalt

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I've been thinking . . .
I’ve never been good at answering the question, “What’re you going to do this weekend?” I guess that’s because I don’t usually make big plans. I like little plans for my weekend — tiny ones that make a big difference.

Big plans require preparation, decision-making, and coordination. I do enough of that stuff all week long. This weekend I’m going for the gestalt. I won’t push the river, I let it push itself.

I don’t have anywhere I need to be. I only have a handful ot hings I need to do. Funny, they’re things I’m looking forward to.

I might be looking forward to doing what I need to do because I have plenty of room left over for that river to wind it’s way through the weekend. I’ll float along, taking on its purpose and its rhythm. Every now and then, it’s nice to let things unfold without controlling them.

No worries that this will be a weekend wasted. A weekend of blissful space never is. The luxury of time is mine to read a book or look out the window for no reason. It’s my pleasure to be glad I’m living.

In the moment is a great time to be alive. That’s what I am thinking.

Liz's Signature

The How to Happiness – Top 10 Ways to Start Living Your Life

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(Updated in 2020)

Photo Credit: Liz Strauss

Everyone Gets the Same 24 Hours

“I need to get a life.”
I want to start a new life.”
“Tell me the how to happiness.”

You don’t need to get a life, you’ve already got one.

Life — it’s what we do between the time we get here and when we go. We only get one, and despite what other folks might suppose, it’s ours to determine what to do with it.

We don’t measure life in hours and minutes. We measure life in memories and moments.

What do you think of when you read this sentence?

 

It was the time of my life.

We don’t say that often enough.
What would it take for you to live life saying that?
Isn’t that idea the how to happiness?

The Top 10 Ways to Start Living Life

Life either happens to us, or we take hold of life and live it.
Here are the top 10 ways to get a life and start living it.

  1. Give yourself permission to claim your life. That’s right — permission. You’re the only one who can decide you are in charge of your life. Even though it feels like you’re not supposed to do so, turn off the internal editors, the old tape recordings, the “shoulds, have tos, and musts”, and the rules that didn’t come from you.

2. Define what living means to you. It’s not as hard as it sounds. Just picture yourself at the end of your life looking back. What words would you want to describe how you lived your life and who you are as a person?

3. Stop living in the future. Every time you think “someday” or “when I have time I will,” stop. Ask yourself, “Why not now?” Think about this sentence, “I always wanted to, but never did.” Start doing the things you always planned to do. Choose to start a new life every morning. Plan one thing you will do today to feel alive.

4. Surround yourself with people who enjoy living. They’ve obviously discovered how to have a life and live it. Why not hang with the pros?

5. Lay down your pain and your anger. Carrying them around makes living harder and less fun. It doesn’t bring anything, and it steals a lot. Choosing what fuels you is how you start over in life.

6. Let the losers win. Don’t argue about things that you don’t care about. Unless there’s some real threat, let the folks who have something to prove, prove what they need to. Why waste your living time trying to fix what’s wrong with them?

7. Create energy. Jump to forgiveness and love, then figure things out. Most conclusions we jump to are not only wrong, they’re negative. Negative conclusions lead us to prepare a defense. Being on the defensive isn’t living. It’s hiding from life.

8. Learn the physical symptoms of when your head and heart become disconnected. We know when we’re having a knee jerk reaction, when we’re feeling sorry for ourselves, and when we’re being blind to people’s feelings. We can remember how it felt physically while we were behaving badly. Get to know those symptoms, and you can stop the behavior. Living life will feel a whole lot safer because you won’t be in danger of shooting yourself in the foot.

9. Take small risks that push your boundaries in every way. The joy of life is packed in learning that matches our skill set. When we stretch just a bit intellectually, physically, emotionally, we grow. Living is growing. Even your cells know that.

10. Value and protect the people and the places you care about. A job isn’t a life. It’s just a part of one. Let the people you care about come first, and let everyone know that you do. Re-read numbers 1 and 2.

These are the top 10 ways to start living life.
It’s not starting your life over. It’s claiming the life you have and living it.
It’s claiming the how to happiness.

We come into life with whatever we’ve got. It’s ours to do with. It took me a while to figure that out — that my life isn’t just what happens to me, that I could take hold of it. I choose to live life saying that …

I have the time of my life.

You’ve already got a life too. Are you living it?

Be irresistible.
–ME “Liz” Strauss