Motivation Archives - Page 97 of 146

While I'm Gone, I Hope

December 1, 2007 by Liz

what I’d hope you might remember while I’m gone.

You see I’m leaving on a plane tonight, and I’m not taking my computer.

I would hope you’ll still stop to see the surprises I’ve left behind. Several folks have contributed some wonderful writing, and I’ve put together a little some thing too. I hope you’ll share your thoughts in the comments. Though I won’t be here, the sidebar will be fully stocked with beverages and snacks and you can pass on what you like via the “Share This” button at the end of each post.

Hope you’re smiling.
Hope you’re having fun.
Hope you’ve found a way lighten your heart and your load this holiday season.

Meanwhile, I’ll be drumming some work so that I can keep this joint afloat. So keep me in your thoughts . . . and most all, know I hope you’ll be nice.

How to Receive a Compliment Without Being a Self-Centered Idiot

November 29, 2007 by Liz

Most Folks Have Been There

It was a one-person project and one you fell in love with. You put your heart in it and delivered beyond expectations. The project was elegant. Every minute you worked meant every detail came together with the highest quality.

This morning you presented it to the executive team. Just now, the president of the company came up to you in front of your coworkers and said, “Congratulations, your project and your presentation were outstanding.”

Suddenly it seems as if all eyes are looking at you. What do you say?

You’re pretty sure that saying, “Damn right, it was!” is probably not the right thing.

How do you answer a compliment without denying it or looking like a self-centered idiot?

How to Receive a Compliment Without Being a Self-Centered Idiot

The idea of accepting a compliment has come up in conversations with Ann Michael, Phil Gerbyshak, and Allan Cox this week. The discussion with each of them centered on the dynamic of why people have a problem accepting a compliment and how to handle the self-conscious feeling that is often attached to the attention a compliment brings.

Receiving a compliment with grace and feeling good about it is easy if you remember to do three things.

Compliment: “Your presentation was outstanding.”

Don’t make it about you.
Example of a response to avoid:
Let me tell you about it. I was up until 3 a.m. every night this week. My computer crashed last night and my kids have the flu.

A compliment is conversation. A speaker tells a offers a listener information about his or her opinion in the form of praise. The content of a compliment — even when it’s personal in nature such as You’re a wonderful human being. — is simply a statement of a point of view. Keep yourself out of the response.
Don’t discount the speaker’s gift.
Example of a response to avoid:
It wasn’t much. I just threw something together.

The speaker has offered a personal thought in your favor. To deny it or discount it is to say that the speaker has made a mistake in judgment. Value the speaker’s words in your response.
Acknowledge the speaker’s words and stop there.
Examples of a response that works:
Thank you for saying that it means a lot to hear it from you.

Focus on the speaker and the value of the speaker’s words. That guarantees your response will be graceful, respectful, and not about you.

That sentence in Step 3 was my default answer for the first few tries. Now I no longer freeze when I hear a compliment coming toward me. So I listen, focus, and respond even more thoughtfully. I enjoy compliments now that I no longer make them about me.

It’s not a hard habit to develop these three steps in receiving a compliment. Try them once and you’ll most likely be ready to put them to use every time. The exchange that occurs is so much more natural. It’s normal conversation without the “spotlight” glaring in our eyes.

It’s nice to let someone know that you heard and value their compliment. Sometimes it even allows you a chance to offer an authentic compliment in return.

You’re irresistible. Thank you for stopping by.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

Buy the Insider’s Guide to Online Conversation.

You Have to Understand . . . No You Don't

November 27, 2007 by Liz

Who Am I Talking to?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

I’ve been listening to when I say,
“You have to understand.”

I’ve been listening to when other people say that sentence too.

You have to understand. . . . No, you don’t.

Truth is, no one “has to” understand anything anyone says anytime anyplace at all.

Yet, even more amazing is that often when the sentence, “You have to understand,” is being said,
the listener does understand.

Often the listener understands
better than the speaker does.

I’ve been listening to when I say,
“You have to understand.”

Maybe the person I’m trying to convince is myself.

I fight the hardest to convince other folks what I need to believe most myself.

I wonder if I understand myself, will I quit telling other folks that they have to understand what I’m saying?

You have to understand. I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

Well, no you don’t. No one does.
We don’t have to understand each other . . . but it works better when we do.

Maybe we start by listening to and understanding ourselves.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Positively Me

November 26, 2007 by Liz

about those sentences in our heads.

They were useful once I’m sure — those sentences in our heads that tell us how to act and who we are. But some of them are woefully past their “sell by” date and still they play over and over. It’s time to stop paying attention.

Just because it made sense once to raise my hand before I spoke. . . .
Just because someone had a different idea of what’s beautiful . . .
Just because in the past some kids said I was too smart, too weird, too tall, too something they were not . . .

Do I have to keep listening to those ideas? Do I have to keep believing them?

I see folks who let one sentence, one event, define their entire life while they sit with the power to set it iaside and chose a new path.

This once-shy child doesn’t have to be a shy adult. I’m not stuck with other folks’ thoughts. Any event is only something that happened. I can paint it, put it on a wall, and call it history.

It’s my life. They’re my thoughts. I’m tossing out the ones I don’t want. I don’t need negatives anymore. It’s the positives that move me forward.

How else will I become positively me?

Dots of Wonder and Light

November 25, 2007 by Liz

Connecting dots with The Idea Dude

This week’s dots are about children. Ergo, it is about intelligence, curiosity, wonderment, humour, determination and everything they do so naturally. They are the best dots.

Dream like an 8 year old

Matt over at The Digital Perm started me on this theme. He says, That is why kids just rock. Everything is possible.

Be curious like a child

Pam reminds us that we need to regain our child-like perspective As adults we get so lost in day to day adult issues. We forget to pause for the wonderful moments in life. She says, When my son was just toddler I remember him picking up leaves and investigating them as if they were the coolest things ever.
Ever spend an afternoon with a 5 year old. The most common word you’re likely to hear is “why?”. They are like sponges, for them there is no limit, there is no sky. They want to know. Why? Just because.

Impossible is not a word

Christina tells us in the most beautiful way of her child learning to jump. You’ve got to appreciate her determination. She doesn’t understand why she can’t get off the floor, but that doesn’t stop her from trying.

Laugh longer, laugh often

Michele reminds us that children laugh more than we do. Did you know children laugh about 400 times a day, while adults laugh on average only 15 times a day?

This week it snowed in the city. I thought of sludge, ice and traffic jams. For my 13 year-old, the first thing that came to her mind that resulted a smile so wide, it warmed my heart the whole day long?

Snowballs!

May the dots be with you!

Vern, The Idea Dude

Click here to see more dots we connected

Personal Identity: Who Are You Really?

November 25, 2007 by Liz

I Would Agree

Last night at a gathering, I had a conversation with a woman who had decorated the condo in which we were enjoying the evening.

She said, “My passion is home decorating, but my real job is . . . ”

She saw the smile that crossed my face and asked about it.

I wondered back why she thought about herself and her life that way. I said, “Just because right now you spend more time and make more money doing what you call your ‘real job,’ do you have to let it define who you are?”

The woman leaned forward to listen more closely.

“What I mean is . . . when I came in, I was told you were the decorator who made this room look so beautiful. It was easy to agree that a home decorator is who you are.”

The woman sat visibly taller in her chair and smiled. “I see what you mean.”

I placed a finger of my left hand on the counter in front of us and said, “You are here. This is where you are spending less time at home decorating.” About 10 inches to the right of the first finger, I placed a finger of my right hand. “This is where you will be when you’re a home decorator full time. All you need to do is find the steps from one to the other.”

Her smile grew.

“Yep,” I said. “The whole thing becomes easy now because you can see. Every decision you make either moves you further down that path or moves you away from it. Just remember the path when you decide things and soon enough you’ll find yourself there.”

She was already redefining herself with the next words she used.

We really do get to choose how we define ourselves and how to get there.

Are you satisfied with who you say you are?

Who are you really?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!