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How to Be the Most Magnetically Attractive Person in the Room

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What Draws People to You?

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I have a friend who lights up every room that she enters. People are drawn to her. They gather around her. She’s a delight and so everyone wants to spend time with her. You might be surprised to know that she’s an introvert and doesn’t much like being in big groups.

Like me, this shy friend did her time standing against the wall watching from the outside while the great conversations happened just a few feet away from her. Then she cracked the secret of how to be in the conversation and help others belong in the conversation too.

How to Be the Most Magnetically Attractive Person in the Room

Much of what I know about feeling good in a big room comes from the time I spent watching my shining friend meet and greet people she doesn’t know and get them to talk with her. That introvert consistently becomes the most magnetically attractive person in the room. Introvert or not, here’s how you can do it.

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  • Smile. If it feels like everyone is looking at you, look at them. Look people in the eye and smile. Look like you’re someone easy to be with, friendly and approachable. Read on to get an idea on how to do that.
  • Assume kinship. Decide that you have something in common with everyone. Make it your goal to find out what it is. Something brought you both into the same room.
  • Take the “self” out of self-confidence. Be confident that every person will teach you something you didn’t know before. It could be a new idea, a new story or a practice at listening.
  • Start a conversation. Have a favorite easy, open question that solicits a creative answer or opinion. Mine is What do you do when you’re not this? Others are: If you could be anywhere right now, what would be doing? How does this event compare to the last event you attended? Mind if I ask your advice about how to meet some of the people in this room?
  • Wear something that gets folks commenting. Every notice how easy it is to talk to the man with the huge watch or the woman with colorful scarf. An interesting accessory invites conversation. Choose something that makes it easy to say “hello.”
  • Be approachable. As you’re talking to someone and you see someone approaching reach out an arm to invite that person into the conversation. You might pause to say, “Come on in.” Find out the person’s name. Introduce him or her into the conversation. Then continue on.

I’ve seen the magic that my friend spins whenever she steps outside herself to focus on every other person in the room. I’ve found it’s not just her talent. It’s a strategy that also works for me. And it can work for you.

To be the most magnetically attractive networker in the room, the key is to make it easy, smart, fun, and meaningful to talk to you. The same approach works online too.

What tricks have you found to be more approachable in a networking room?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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Does Your Brand Promiscuously Sleep with the Whole Football Team?

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Here Everyone Gets It All!!

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Will take a trip with me into ancient history?
I was in my early twenties. A friend, a young lady who was unique, beautiful and fun to be with, was insecure about her personal value. She couldn’t see why any guy might want to be with her. She had a string of bad relationships. She’d meet a guy and almost instantly sleep with him. The next day she’d call him a “boyfriend.”

I would watch it happen over and over. What she wanted was guys who’d get to know her. What she attracted was a huge following of guys who wanted to sleep with her. Some of those guys told me later that they didn’t even like her.

She was promiscuously giving away the wrong thing.

Is Your Brand Guilty of Promiscuous Giving

Now I go to events and trade shows and sometimes I see the business version of the same thing. Big brands and small companies not thinking through their “offers.” They put out samples that attract people people who want “free” rather than people who want a relationship with their brand and their products.

It may be easier to plan one giveaway for a population. But it’s not necessarily the best way to connect with people who want to “love” your brand. That single giveaway is likely to attract people who take anything free whether they need it, want it, or can use it in any meaningful way.

How many bags, water bottles, t-shirts, and hats end up left in hotel rooms because suitcases had no room when they were packed for leaving?

Here’s how to avoid promiscuously giving away the wrong things.

Don’t give everything to everybody. No one wants to marry the girl who sleeps with the entire football team. Have something for the people who are just meeting you. Have a second thing for the folks who’ve tried something in your product line and are beginning to like you. Have a third set for the folks who are madly in love with you.

How Might Brands Do that?

  • The People Who Don’t Know You Ask them about what they love in their current favorite product. Invite them to be on an advisory board that will get special offers and invitations to meetups in their town. Recruit them as “nonusers” to review new products from your line — for internal publication only if they prefer. The best swag for this group might be an elegant portable screen cleaner kit that carries your logo or maybe that flash drive that is huge enough to back up an entire computer. Everyone can will use those and see your logo.
  • The People Who Like You, But Aren’t Customers Introduce them to a service person on a first name basis. Take a hint from the car companies develop a serious test drive offer. Invite the folks who use your competitors to a demo to compare their product with yours. For those who attend extend a special limited price offer. Match them up with the machine that perfectly suits their use and needs. Invite them to test drive your machine for 30 days trial. Give them a price point that they can’t help to talk about. As a swag gift for their participation, give them that screen cleaner kit and add to that a portable power pack with adapters for every gadget in their repertoire. Who doesn’t need more power?
  • Your Loyal Customers and Those Ready to Become One Have your database ready when they walk up and talk about the products they already own. Get to know their favorites and their wishes. These are the folks who should go home with the special new product that you’re just releasing. They’ll talk about it with their friends. It might even work to give them two or three coupons to pass on to folks they know would use your products and talk about them. Let your true friends decide who should be the ones to get the super swag. They’ll choose well for you and you’ll win their loyalty for it.

People get to know people and brands in small steps that break down boundaries and build relationships. If you overwhelm me with too much too fast, it’s hard to trust that you value what you give or that you value the relationship. I don’t want to you see me as the girl who sleeps with the whole football team and I don’t want to see you like that.

How might you step the swag you offer to meet the needs of your fans?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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5 Ways to Take the Work Out of Work and Connect with Life

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Some Folks Have All Fun

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Ever notice that some of us live, some of work to live, some of us live to work … and one or two of us seem to BE a piece of work?

Other living species don’t think their way into this problem. Why should we?

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Once upon a time there was a moment when the idea of work didn’t exist. Life was life and we lived it. Some of us only experience that in early childhood. Some of keep that secret with us and carry it through every moment we’re here.

5 Ways to Take the Work Out of Work and Connect with Life

It’s no secret that we’ve added negative connotations that bend the word work to define only some energy we invest or that work is often described as the opposite of play. And it’s fairly obvious to most of us that we often invest as much or more of our energy in things that we call something other than work … love, passion, sports, games, hobbies … life.

We’ve managed to disconnect what we call “work” from our life.

We frame it inside the idea of work-life balance — as if we could separate the working part from the living part and put each on the other side of a scale. Even if we could segment our lives so dicretely, each of us seems have a different definition of which exertion belongs in which category on which day.

The “who” of “Who puts the work in work?” is us. It follows that we’re the ones who, in the same way, can take the “work” out of work and get on to being fully connected to every breath that we take.

Here are five ways that I connect with life.

  • Connect to the passionate you who likes being alive. Many people say that difference between working for a living and a labor of love is passion. Find your passion for life, your joy at humor, your original curiosity and the thrill at knowing that not all is in what we see. Keep positive knowing that the only time and behavior that you can master or change is your own. Whatever happens is life. We can we see it as work or some fabulous puzzle that will improve our skills, bring new ideas, and unlock possibilities.
  • Connect with the passion of people who add positive energy to your life. When we’re passionate about what we’re doing, what we do seems worth every bit of energy it takes. We attract people who see the upside of what they’re doing too, even when what we’re all trudging through the mud in the rain. Notice the positive people. Connect with them in ways that bring more positivity into whatever you’re doing.
  • Connect to the “want to” of everything. If what you see is work, change the way you’re seeing it. Create a new view. Look to the outcome that is the payoff for what you’re about to do. It may not be fun to mow the lawn or pay the bills, but the feeling of accomplishment when it’s done is one worth savoring. Go for the gold and enjoy what that it takes to find it.
  • Connect to your ability to move when enough is enough. If the situation or is more work than it’s worth, move it out of your life. What we’re doing right now is what we want to be doing or we wouldn’t be doing it. Just as nature abhors a a vacuum — we don’t stay in situations that don’t payoff in some way. When the work gets to be higher than whatever used to be the payoff, we stop talking and move on. If you’re bored, uncomfortable, or feeling like it’s work to be you, move. Do something, one thing every day to move a little closer on where you’re going.
  • Connect with the power to experience and respond to humanity with humanity and life with life. Be a beginner constantly improving your “life in progress.” Joy, peace, anger, sadness, illness, and disastrous events — none of these are work — but the way we respond to them and hold on to them sure can be. Humans are hard-wired to be deeply inspired. It will draw people to you who want to do the the same. Make it your quest to be on a mission to improve things and to leave people who’d rather complain talking to themselves.

It’s the way we connect to our life that determines what we value, who we give ourselves and our time to, and what we consider work or fun. Connect to your life. Aspire (breathe toward) with intention to get closer to the people and ideas that invigorate and energize you.

As we live for the people and the moments that fuel us, life becomes simpler, easier, more fun — even when it’s not. We connect more deeply to the people we value, to the world, to ourselves and to our dreams.

Suddenly we find it’s never been a problem of finding a balance between work and life, but simply a problem of connecting and savoring the time of our lives.

How do you take the work out of work and connect with life?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

Related:
The Top 10 Ways to Start Living Your Life
How to Be Alive and 10 Ways to Celebrate It!

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Why Am I Writing This When There’s So Much To Do?

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It’s Late and There’s Work Left

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Gotta wonder what draws me back to the keyboard when I have things calling to me and already the moon is thinking about heading back the other way.

Gotta wonder what keeps the clock ticking or the brain working when so much needs doing and yet … I stop to write something like this for a few.

Is it a wonder really?

No, not really.

It’s like taking a minute to drink in the moonlight.
It’s a second to remember the you … the who … out there that keeps me doing what I do.

Thank you for the energy.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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Do You Know Your Limits? Are You Reaching Customers or Confusing Them?

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Are You Thinking Brick and Mortar, but Working Online?

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The first was supposed to be a short phone call with a client about how to get visibility for his book. The second was supposed to be the initial meeting on how to launch a new product.

The question that caused the chaos was simple really …

What group of customers do you want to reach first?

Neither guy wanted to commit. Both were sure that they were meant to sell to everyone.

The problem isn’t who might buy your product, but the visibility, strength, and power of your reach.

Once upon a time, when a store had a location, that a target market was gated by geography. An answer such as

I want to reach every small business.

really meant every small business in a certain in a limited geography. It was too expensive to think much wider than that.

The Advantages of a Location Limited Community

Before the Internet, geographical communities often served as niche markets. Thus the famous mantra, “Location, Location, Location” became important. Location meant traffic and visibility. We could saturate a market simply because it was limited and then go find another market to saturate. Huge companies such as Wal-mart started out just that way.

  • Limited geography meant limited competition. People could only walk or drive so far to get to the product or service they wanted.
  • Limited geography meant limited reach. The local community shared certain values and only grew so large. Our values had to be their values for us to succeed.
  • Limited geography meant visibility and familiarity. When we were the only pizza bar in the neighborhood, the only marketing firm on our street, or the only leadership coach in our neighborhood, location we were a lot easier to see.

We could say that everyone was our customer because everyone was limited to everyone in a certain area. Customers got to know us because we were there every day in the same community.

Do You Know Your Limits? Are You Reaching Customers or Confusing Them?

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Now that we’re online and offline, location is no longer geographic. We need to limit our communities in other ways to get that same visibility, traffic, and saturation before we try to conquer a second community.

Now we have to define our limits so that our customers can see us above the competition in a global playing field.

  • Limit your playing field. You’ll have a clearer picture of what you need to know and how to reach the people you want to reach. Choose service professionals, corporations, or b2b companies.
  • Focus on that specific community or group as your market to raise your visibility and establish your expertise.
  • By picking a limited community, you can be everywhere they are. You can can concentrate on them, their needs and how they change with the context of each new environment. You can the knowledge of intimacy, nuance and depth of experince.

Try to reach everyone and the result will be confusion. Lawyers and People who run Day Care Centers just don’t have the same needs. Even small business owners in different industries recognize when we’re being generic with them. We’re all looking for solutions that meet our needs not “sort of” answers that might fit a problem “somewhat like” what we’re facing.

The focus of a smaller niche makes it easier to know, understand, and serve the people who love what we do well. Reach out for the customers who will help your business thrive, not the ones who will take any answer and leave any time.

Having a relationship requires limiting and focusing attention.

Do you know your limits? How do your ideal customers know you’re here for them?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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How to Power Up Your Power Network and Bring It Closer to You

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It’s Always Been About Showing Up

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It’s fun to connect with people who do the same things we do. It’s also great business. But a quick hello and a conversation about what we do doesn’t make a relationship. If we don’t let our new friends know where serious about a relationship things often stop at that point.

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Suddenly we can find ourselves with idea, an adventure, or trip somewhere that would be a perfect fit for someone we’ve met but hardly know. We might have a product that would be a perfect fit for their network, but we’ve never gone past that first hello. We’d love to share the benefits with someone that we’ve met, but we’re not so comfortable that we’re not stepping over the line by even suggesting that.

Here are five highly effective ways to power up your power network and bring the people in your network closer to you.

  1. Be a good surprise. Keep a list of people who have referred you, recommended you, tweeted or retweeted your work, or done something large or small to help you. Write an unexpected email, direct message, handwritten note to one person on that list to say you appreciate the contribution that person has made in your life.
  2. Be a new encounter of the very best kind. As we travel Twitter and get introduced at meetings, we encounter more than a few people who have skills or interests that compliment are might add value to what we do. Once a week, make an appointment to talk on the phone with one or two people from that group. Ask about their goals for the next two quarters. Explore how you might align their goals with yours.
  3. Be a sincere fan. Email someone you respect and admire, but don’t know well. Write the email solely for the purpose of explaining the way that person has added value to your life.
  4. Be on a quest. Make it a quest to request help from someone you’ve never worked with. Every week, decide on one thing you probably would do better if you brought in some other brain, hands, or eyes. You’ll be surprised what you learn simply by deciding on what to request and then by listening to the answers.
  5. Be an idea explorer. Use a search engine, Wikipedia, books, magazines, and a rare group of friends to seek out new ideas on a subject your network cares about. Then share them generously online, on the phone, and in person whenever you interact.

Make time for all five of these every week and your network will explode with true connection — people you know, people who know you, and who know what you do. Every burst of energy in that direction with be a reminder that the people you’ve connected with are more than contact information to you.

How do you keep the power in your power network?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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