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How I changed the story I was telling myself

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On Stories & Taking Risk

It was another day of meetings — the last — of what had been three full days for an important advisory committee I was serving on. We were in the wrap up stage of the day; the time where each member of the committee was to share key closing thoughts and advice for government officials.

Luckily — or perhaps unluckily — the feedback started at the opposite side of the room. This meant that I would be close to the last to share my thoughts. I knew that I had things to share; critical feedback. Ideas and suggestions that would help the key officials who were there to listen. I believed my words could make a difference.

Yet, as I listened to those who were speaking before me — I became concerned that my feedback would not be “good enough.” Even worse, I began telling myself that there was no way I was as smart or as informed as all the others who were at the same table I was.

By the time, it was my turn to speak — the story I was telling myself — was that my expertise was non existent. And that the words I wanted to share — my words — were of little importance. Amazingly I still, somehow, managed to stumble through my thoughts and get my words out. As I did this, I was overwhelmed with fear. And, silently, I began comparing every word I spoke out loud to all the others words that had already been said. As you might imagine, nothing profound emerged from me. And my words sort of hung in the room with what seemed like an eternal silence, long after the fact. Nobody said anything. In fact, I was sure I saw a few sideways glances between folks. To say it was awful — just doesn’t begin to describe how I felt.

On that day, I left that meeting room with the story I had told myself — that I was not as smart or as informed as all the others — fully cemented in my mind. And guess what? I chose to let that story stick with me — for more than 10 years. It hung over me every time I went into meetings that were with more than a few people. It was with me when I met in team meetings with clients. And when I attended other committees I was also serving on. In time, I began avoiding such meetings — and narrowing my circle of clients — as well as friends and colleagues. I did all this — because of a story I told myself.

I carried that story — and all the subsequent thinking that came with it — until the winter of 2011. It was then; that something happened and that made me realize the story I had been telling myself was a lie. And that I — Jane Boyd — was every bit as smart and informed as the next person — and — that yes, my words and my voice mattered. In fact, they mattered a whole lot.

So — what happened? What made me realize I had been telling myself a story that was a lie?

In hindsight — it seems so simple — but here it is:

I got tired of being quiet. Of not saying what was truly in my mind. So I took a risk.

I decided to stop being quiet.

What followed, set me on a journey that led to me learning about the power of the stories we tell ourselves. And that eventually enabled me to slay a great many of the stories that had been holding me back. The more stories I eliminated and reframed — the stronger my voice and my words became. Not only in person, but in writing too.

The truest stories are the ones that don’t hold you back or keep you quiet. They are the ones that not only empower you — but — reinforce all the good things about the very person you are.

Be brave,

Jane

Put Your Mind to It

Think of a moment when you began telling yourself a particular story.

  • What is the story?
  • Is it beneficial to you?
  • Is it really your true story?

Life affords us the opportunity to keep, reframe or throw away every story we tell ourselves. What do you want to do with this particular story?

More from Successful-Blog. . .

about Stories & Taking Risk

You’re not “just” anything. Dare to dream.

  • by Rosemary O’Neill, Co-Founder/President of Social Strata, Managing Editor of Successful-Blog and GeniusShared community member.

Jane Boyd is a Partner in GeniusShared. She is also the CEO of 45 Conversations Media & Education Ltd, a Canadian education and training company based just outside of Vancouver Canada. She works with educators, business, community and government in the areas of early learning, work-life, community development and employee engagement.

What if you want to move?

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By Barbara Fowler

What if you are in the right business but in the wrong location??

Two years ago, I took an early retirement package from Prudential and looked around for a new career opportunity. I had been working for 30 years and had loved it. I had moved around a fair amount, been given the opportunity to be the Chief Marketing Officer in both Europe and South America and had spent the prior four years, based in Newark, New Jersey, in charge of International Field Training.

When I left Prudential, I was interested in finding a company that could utilize my marketing expertise and help me continue to develop my skills. I soon found Chief Outsiders, a company that specializes in providing part-time and fractional CMO services to mid-size companies and I got to work.

It was an entirely different experience, working with a small start-up, developing my own clients and investing my own money. I loved it, except that I didn’t want to live in New Jersey the rest of my life. I had nothing against the people and the opportunities there but the weather, the taxes and the congestion made me long for another location.

What to do?

I remembered a letter someone once wrote to Ann Landers. I know that dates me but the gist of the letter was a woman, asking if it was worth it to go back to college and complete her degree. She shared with Ann that it would mean less time for her family, her housework and her friends. It would take three or so years to complete. Would it be worth it?

Ann responded by writing two letters, dated three years in the future. In one, the woman was three years older and asking the same questions. Should she go back to school? Would it be worth it?

In the other, the woman wrote that the last three years had been tough, she had lost sleep and had to ask her husband and family for more support. But she had completed her degree and she was so happy. Her kids were so proud. I think it was an analogy to my situation. I knew it would be harder to start in a new location, to begin again.

After much reflection on this, I decided to go for it, to start-over, in a location of my choice, a location that I wanted to remain in for many years to come. After looking at a couple of places, my husband and I decided on the Charleston, South Carolina area. But I knew no one. I had no contacts, no business possibilities. Many of you have probably been in this situation or contemplated it so I would like to share some tips.

These are my five best ones:

Linkedin:

  • Send a note to all of your Linkedin contacts, telling them about your move. Request help in getting new contacts in the new location. You will be amazed at who responds. Some people who you are extremely close to who you know have contacts don’t respond at all while others who you can’t entirely remember give you great contacts. Don’t judge anyone, just appreciate those who reached out and remember this in the future. Pay it forward.
  • Join local Linkedin Groups. For example, in this area, there are several local Linkedin groups like Charleston, South Carolina Professionals and The LowCountry Business Network. Reach out to them to ask for advice and recommendations. Remember to give as well as receive. Offer some of your advice and services.
  • Do a search of your target market in the local area. My target is CMOs of mid-sized companies so you can check out these on Linkedin and seek them out. You can’t get everyone’s name on Linkedin unless you have connections in common but if they are in one of your Linkedin groups, (see above) you can reach out and ask to connect. Again, ask for advice and recommendations, don’t ask for business.
  • Look for Alumni from your University. I happen to have gone to a couple of universities: Wittenberg, Wake Forest and NYU and I looked up local graduates and reached out. Many responded and were willing to meet.

Business Organizations:

  • Look at the organizations you are currently in. Determine if they have a chapter in the new location. If so, reach out. If not, see if one is needed and think about starting it. I belonged to several groups in New Jersey: ACG (Association for Corporate Growth), MENG (Marketing Executives Networking Group), and Vistage (an organization designed to help CEOs of mid-size companies grow their businesses). There wasn’t a local ACG or MENG chapter, but Vistage has been especially helpful in getting me started here. The local Vistage chair, Dan Wertenberg, asked me to join his group and has given me a lot of valuable counsel.

Community Organizations:

  • Look at the Chamber of Commerce, Rotary. Lions Club and groups like that. Do members of your target market belong? If so, join and become active. If not, look for other groups where your target market is active. These could be church groups, volunteer groups, neighborhood groups. Do not join the group unless you are interested. No one wants to meet someone who has only joined a group like this to get business. But when you have interests in common, you can make good friends and connections over time.

Events and Publications:

  • Subscribe to the local business journal and local newspapers. Check their websites for events and activities. Oftentimes people make the mistake of going to events for people just like them and hoping for business. Go to different events targeted for your potential clients. I went to Knoxville and attended Social Slam and met Rosemary O’Neill, who sat down with me, shared her experiences and asked me to write a blog post on the topic. Charleston has a harbor and so had a world trade event recently. There was a technology event last weekend. Go, check out the booths, see if you can volunteer, be there, meet people.
  • When you read the periodicals, check for people you want to meet. Keep a list of them and ask others you meet if they can introduce you. For example, if one of your target markets is professional service companies and you are meeting a lawyer, have a list of several accountants, lawyers and other professionals. When you meet your lawyer, share the list, tell him or her you are planning to contact them and ask who they might be able to introduce you to-then ask for people similar who aren’t on your list yet.

People I Met During Move:

  • You meet a lot of people when you move, including mortgage brokers, real estate agents, real estate repair people, home inspectors etc. make sure everyone knows what business you are in. My real estate agent, Mary Carson helped. My mortgage broker, Lorcan Lucey added his support. The man renovating our house, Phil Bennett, gave his advice. Also, ask them for advice on who is a good professional for services you need-like a new furniture store, home decorator, hair salon, Veterinarian and dog sitter. When you get recommendations from them, they are more apt to help you.

Has it all been successful? Was it worth it? These are two different questions. Right now, success is not guaranteed. This is a work in progress. I am meeting people and working hard. But there are no results yet. Was it worth it? My husband and I love our new community in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, The weather has been great. The people are special.

I took a risk. Sometimes we are not in the position to take these kinds of risks. Sometimes we have to stay where we are, we don’t have the option or money to change locations. However, if you do find yourself in the right business, but the wrong location, I urge you to at least examine the possibilities. Even if you cannot afford to move right away, once you decide on the plan, you can do many of the things mentioned above to prepare you for the future. And if you choose Charleston and need some help, reach out to me.

Author’s Bio: Barbara Fowler is a CMO and Partner with Chief Outsiders in the Charleston, S. C. area. Follow her on twitter at @barbfow50 or contact Barbara at 908-956-4529 or email at bfowler@chiefoutsiders.com.

 

Thank you, Barbara!

It’s been such a pleasure welcoming you to the Lowcountry!

Rosemary

Made It Your Business to be Insured?

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For many men and women, opening and running a small business is a lifelong dream.

According to the Small Business Administration (SBA) there are some 27 million small businesses scattered across the nation, with anywhere from 60 to 80 percent of all new jobs created nationwide tied to small business.

Whether it is a company one has started fresh off the ground, inherited from a family member or purchased from someone else, their blood, sweat and tears will likely be poured into it over time.

But what happens if they do not have the proper small business insurance in place?

In what can seem like the blink of an eye, all those dreams of being their own boss and making a go of it as a business owner can be wiped out.

In order to avoid such a scenario, ask yourself a very simple question. Am I properly insured to the point where my small business could withstand even the smallest of claims? If the answer is no, make it your business to get properly insured.

It all starts with preparing for the everyday risk that something could go wrong, meaning you could end up on the wrong end of a claim, a claim that has the potential to be quite expensive for you and your business.

 

Do You Know All the Things That Can Go Wrong?

While the possible scenarios are just about endless, some of them include:

  • The work you do for a client ends up causing them a business interruption and/or loss of money;
  • Someone comes to your business for a consultation, product or service. While there, they are injured in a fall or other accident;
  • One of your employees is attacked in your office parking lot while going to their car. You were told several times that the area had little or no lighting and was unsafe, yet you never did anything to correct the problem. In turn, the employee sues you to cover their medical bills and emotional suffering;
  • You or one of your employees are driving to meet with a client or make a delivery. During the time, you are involved in a vehicle accident and the other party is injured;
  • The legal or financial advice that you provided a client does not work for them, meaning they may turn around and sue you and your business;
  • A fire or storm causes major damage to your office space and equipment. As a result, you lose the ability to work for days, weeks or maybe even longer. Can you survive financially with your small business in limbo?

No matter what the potential claim may be, it has the makings of putting you and your business at risk of going under should someone be successful in a court judgment. Without small business coverage, you risk losing everything.

As you may or may not imagine, there are a number of coverage types available for your company, including:

  1. Business property insurance (covers the business property you rent or own, including the equipment inside);
  2. Liability insurance (protects you and your business against accidents to third parties, including personal injuries and should a fire break out in your business and damage nearby properties);
  3. Home-based insurance (provides you with coverage should you run your business from home; most homeowners policies do not protect you against home-based business losses);
  4. Commercial auto insurance (offers you protection when you have any business vehicles that are used on a regular basis to go meet with clients and/or deliver goods and services).

There is little to no doubt that some small business owners will feel paying premiums for insurance is cutting into their revenue, so why have it in the first place?

Keep in mind that an uninsured loss can be much more expensive to your small business over time than paying a monthly, quarterly or yearly payment for small business insurance.

At the end of the day, are you willing to take the risk of not being insured?

Dave Thomas has more than 20 years’ experience as a writer, covering a variety of topics to help your small business succeed.