Successful Blog

Change the World: Learn How to Be Alone

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Alone

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I sit back in my chair, exhausted. I stare. Silence is all around me. It’s a fine, harmonious sound. It’s broad and clear. I can hear myself. I can hear myself thinking.

A cell phone wouldn’t dare interrupt.
A loud voice doesn’t exist.
I can feel my heart. I can feel my heart beating.

I remember when I used to not like to be alone.
Then I learned how.
Learning how to be alone is as easy as learning how to feed yourself
and just as messy at first.

I think of the softly lit stars. I feel the silence of their being. I feel a home in the universe. I’m hospitable, joyful, forgiving, and generous.

A friend once said, “The universe shall not be thwarted.” So I stopped trying to rearrange it, stopped trying to change it, stopped trying to put myself in the center.

Instead I sat in the dark and listened. Silence is a harmonious sound.

I can hear myself. I can hear myself thinking.
I can feel my heart. I can feel my heart beating.

I’m reflective, thoughtful, and filled with meaning.

I learn how to be alone.
It makes me better when I am with other people.

We can change the world — just like that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

The Blog Herald: THERE Are the Women Bloggers!!

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Real-World Women Bloggers

In the group of about 25 or so that I met. Many were charming new bloggers at their first conference of any kind . . . ever. Most of them had mommy blogs or were political bloggers. Two were conference sponsors.

Read the whole feature in today’s Blog Herald by clicking the logo.

The Blog Herald

It’s about blogging and real life.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
At the Blog Herald, I write about books, information, and relationships, making connections from the patterns she sees. I consider these keystone articles.
Authenticity and Transparency in the Real World
In the Real World — The Half-Full, Half-Empty Glass
The Universe of People, Black Holes, and Stars
Connectors and Mavens on the Tipping Point
The Writer’s Dilemma and the Blogger’s Secret
The Two Webs: Information or Relationships?
Social Networking: Am I Person Or an Item?

121: How Do You Clearly Know What to Do?

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Knowing and Leaning

Listen in to my latest answer in the ongoing, one2one conversation that Dawud Miracle and I are having.

Just the other day, Dawud asked me (and you.)

I’ve always seen you as having a great deal of clarity around your blogging and your business. What do you lean on to help you keep that clarity?

Why is that? How is that? I clearly know what to do? I have to start with a story . . .

This week, I spoke to a close friend on the phone about the serious accident that involved her child. We talked about how every member of her family was doing. She mentioned that one member in particular “rose to the occasion,” and was always the best person, a hero, when emergencies happen.

For a moment the conversation was about how tragedy brings out the higher side of people — that they suddenly become clear in knowing what’s important in life. We talked slowly together about how most folks we knew dropped pretense and petty issues in favor of authentically showing up to offer support. They clearly knew what to do. . . .

Since one particular morning years ago when I closed the door on my childhood, I’ve thought about this way that people get clear when faced with mortality. I’ve wondered about it. I’ve thought it’s a comfort that builds community.

I also have revisited character-building moments to keep my priorities straight.

You see, Dawud . . .

In my personal story . . . clarity in business and in life comes from knowing where I’ve been, where I’m going, and what I value on the days that tragedy strikes.

Some folks believe that people can’t help it when they mean things in anger. I believe the world is so many choices. I believe you can choose not to say something mean ever. I believe my work, if I do it right, can make me a better person. I try to live up to that.

When I write, I like to start out knowing what I want to say. When I do something, I like to know how I’m going to do it and why. When I live my life, I like to keep an eye on what I do — to see what I can learn. All of the time, I want my my heart in it feet first.

I don’t always succeed. I don’t always try.

But I know that if I show up and pay attention and if I keep myself looking in the direction where I’m headed, I’m likely to get there — even when, maybe especially when, I set the highest standards.

I also know that most of what I need is inside of me, not out there in other people. The truth is there to discover and to put to use as a light for my journey. I use that light to sort the good guys from the bad. I use it to keep the fire going when I’m going through the pains of learning.

When I fall, I have friends to lean on. I also have my head and heart packed tight with faith, hope, and love — yeah, love. Any business without love is, well, kind of heartless.

Heartless is not what I want to wake up to in the morning. I’m clear about that.

Who isn’t?

And since this is a one2one conversation . . . and I’m inherently currious . . . to Dawud, (and you too)

Have a question . . .
What do YOU wish for your business when it grows up?

If you’re reading this, I’d love to hear your answer too.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

One2One is a cross-blog conversation. You can see the entire One-2-One Conversation series on the Successful Series page.

How to Master an Overwhelming To Do List

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Worse than herding Cats

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I admit it. To my thinking, one thing is worse than herding cats. It’s wrestling with the things I have to do. In my world, a To Do List can quickly get overwhelming. It can be filled with things I don’t know how to do, little things that are labor intensive, and too many things that are unrelated yet need getting done in the same time period. It always seems that part of the list is extremely URGENT and can’t wait for my learning curve. I can’t get to done that way.

How to Master an Overwhelming To Do List

To Do items are in the flow of things when there are only a few. When there are many, I have to get out of the details to where I can see to move them into a organizational groups. These are key steps to mastering a To Do List.

Every item I write begins with a verb. When appropriate, they begin with “Learn to” to remind me that they need more time and more steps.

  1. Brain dump. Write all of the items down a list in any order. Do it first thing in the morning, or last thing — to be able to hit the ground running when a new day begins. Get them out of your head and on paper or on computer. A spreadsheet works nice. It allows one item per box, and they’re easily movable.
  2. URGENT Sort. Group those things that are URGENT. Define URGENT as something of high consequence will be impaired, if this action does not happen in the next 24 hours. Calculate the amount of time these actions will take. If the time to do them is less than the time you have, get help now. Set the rest aside until the URGENT list is under control. Looking for URGENT items should be routine. Finding them should be rare.
  3. Action Sort. Sort all projects three ways to get things done. Group actions that are better done together. Two criteria rule this step: time sensitivity and power to make things happen.
    • HOT List. Sort everything about the most time-sensitive (HOT) project. List all related actions that need to be executed in the next 2-3 days. First apply these two questions to the HOT project. Then apply the questions to the whole list you have made.
    • What can I do in a few minutes that will get someone else working when I move on to the next item? List these so that you can do them first. Two people working move two parts forward.
    • What similar things can I do in series to save time? List like activities together, if doing them that way will save time. Blocking time to make all phone calls or writing all email related to the HOT project can save bundles of time. When is the best time in your day to do each type of task?
    • Quick Hits List. Sort short 5-10 minute tasks that are not HOT!! but need to be done in a timely fashion. This list is one to keep close. When a few minutes open up, or a piece of writing gets stuck, you’ll be able to grab the list to move something forward. Then switch back to regularly scheduled programming.
    • To Do List. Sort the remaining items. List them by their importance and time sensitivity. Then schedule them into the next 2-3 days.
  4. When new actions anitems arise add them to the list where they fit.
  5. Have a partner on call for emergencies. Some folks, like me, are drawn up to the macro level, we work well organizing strategy. We work best at the 30,000-foot view. Other folks are down to drill down to the beauty of details to build structure at the micro view. When time is short and a pile of action details demand attention, nothing compares to a working partnership — one person sorts the relationships, the other makes the lists.

Attend to the HOT List immediately. Attend to the Quick Hits as time opens — carry it with you to take advantage of opportunities wherever they arise. Attend to the To Do List when you have scheduled each item. Turn off interruptions when you’re working. Revisit your plan every morning to sort, list, and schedule the day.

You might think that three lists are more work than one, but in fact, three shorter lists allow focus and save time when scanning for the next thing to do. The key, of course, is to list everything that needs doing and doing everything on the lists.

Did I just confuse you?

–ME “Liz” Straus
To follow the entire series: Liz Strauss’ Inside-Out Thinking to Building a Solid Business, see the Successful Series Page.

Alone in a Crowd

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I've been thinking . . .

about how we can feel alone in a crowd.

I wonder what it is. Why it is exactly that we can be in a roomful of people and feel lonely.

As far as I know, it happens to everyone. Maybe it happens more to us shy ones. It certainly would seem to occur more for those who have less self to rely on. Still, I’m thinking that those conditions aren’t enough to explain how humans can feel isolated in the company of other humans.

We have a way of not listening. We have a way of not seeing. We can look engaged when we’re really thinking about how we wish someone would stop talking.

We’re kind of clumsy about picking up when we’re asking too much of someone’s attention or being too involved in relating events they find less than compelling. It seems we understand that much about ourselves well enough. What we don’t understand is how to tell when we’re doing it.

We gather together without noticing the one who was too shy to join in. We define ourselve by defining those who are unlike and different. It’s unconscious. Even the most generous of us do it.

So we apologize when we don’t need to or we rush in interrupting. We’re like pendulum people knocking around our self-esteem because our trust falters.

Trust seems at the core of feeling connected. Without it we’re lost in small conversations.

We find outselves inside the promises that we keep.

If only we trusted enough to give and receive feedback gently. If only we felt a responsibility to help each other feel safe and supported.

Fewer of us would fall down. Fewer of us would feel like we’re drowning.

Fewer of us would have that feeling of being alone in a crowd.

We’re each one in a million.

Alone isn’t lonely. Not being heard is.

Liz's Signature

BlogHer Chicks Rock!

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Dear Friends and Dear Friends to Be!

Two days at conference and I find myself with thoughts of the remarkable people whose paths I crosssed.

Elisa Camahort, Jory DesJardins, and Lisa Stone hosted a seamless and elegant conference in Chicago. It was first class all of the way. The Second Life strand was a special place for folks who couldn’t attend. Lots of folks who made their first trip to Chicago felt like they were well taken care of.

I got some quality time with dear friends. business blogger and hero to moms and dads, Wendy Piersall, travel blogger and the most joyful reality barometer, Sheila Scarborough, girl geek with a heart as big a Georgia, Robyn Tippins, and singer, blogger, inspiration, Christine Kane. Yeah, we got to hear Christine play again! (She has a new CD!) At the pre-conference speaker’s reception, I got a chance to spend time with Andy Sernovitz as well. I had a hug from all five before the conference had even begun. Not a bad start to any event.

Also at the speaker’s reception, I met new friend Mary Jo Manzanares of Fly Away Cafe. She’s a leadership speaker and a charming, thoughtful woman with a magnetic smile. As Mary Jo and I talked, Denise Wakeman joined the group a few minutes later. I bet you know her from the Blog Squad. Her sense of humor and delight in tackling problems makes her a fun part of a business conversation.

Early in the conference, Wendy introduced me to Plain Jane Mom, Erika. We sat together through a few business sessions. She must be a great mom. Her sense of humor is easy. Her intelligence is quick . . . and she put up with me.

Wendy and I spoke on a “Mentoring and Coaching” panel with Collette Ellis and Elizabeth Perry. Elisa chose well in putting us all on the same team. We made a connection that I’ll value, and I hope to find myself with that group again soon.

I also met up with Cynthia Samuels of Don’t Gel Too Soon. This network TV news veteran is a blogger, a producer, a consultant, a writer, a mom and a wife. After her session, she answered a question about talking to the media that I haven’t yet grown into.

Later, I met Kate Feltman from Wiley. She sat with Robyn and I by the lake as we talked through a SOBCon08 dream. She’s a quick study, who loves the power of ideas. She’s also fun to brainstorm with.

A great conversation happened in the hall with Leah Jones from Edelman. We met through that fiery guy of SOBCon, Ari Garber. Leah and I talked writing and publishing. Her insightful, warm way and easy smile would be a welcome break anytime.

And let me say, that the powerhouse of a genuine person Christina Jones, is everything she’s cracked up to be. Yep, a hero through and through.

Those are just a few of the people I met while I was missing all of you.

–ME ‘Liz” Strauss