A Meeting of the Minds

This cross-blog conversation that I’m having with Dawud is taking some windy turns and travels. Have you been riding with us? My last question to him was Do you see a difference between your online relationships and those offline — beyond the obvious physical differences?
Dawud didn’t take a breath before he answered. “Without a doubt!” He remarked on how easily he’s been getting to know virtual strangers in this virtual land. . . .

Then he asked me, What’s the oddest beginning to a relationship that you’ve developed through your blog?

I guess it would have to be the odd start to how I met Chris Brogan. I knew about Chris from the wonderful and insightful, people-person Ms. Becky McCray. One day, I read a post in which Chris talked about how we should extend the conversation to people outside our circle.

That struck a chord.

I picked up the phone to tell him . . . punched his number and waited. I got a message that said something like, “Hi, I often don’t get these messages. If you want to be sure to reach me, send a text message.” I thought it was ironic. The guy who said, “Reach out.” Was out of reach.

I didn’t realize that, he was at a conference at the time.

I figured I should be doing my real work and got back to it. It was April 26. SOBCon 07 was only 16 days away.

In June, Jeff Pulver came to town for a conference and a party. We met in the afternoon for a conversation. He graciously invited me to join his group for dinner. I waited at the restaurant. Jeff came in with another man. The man turned and smiled across the room It was a sharp, clever smile filled with playful mischief.

While Jeff checked on the reservation, the man came over to introduce himself.

“I’m Chris Brogan. You must be Liz.”

“Ah! Chris Brogan! You don’t pick up your voice mail.”

I’m not sure that I ever said a proper “hello.” [blush]

I’ll blame the smile . . . it’s killer.

Who’s the person that you’d like to meet?

Since this is a conversation, if you’re reading this, I’m not just asking Dawud the question, I’d love to hear your answer too, in the comment box below.

PS To Chris Brogan and to everyone, I’ll offer this song, “Hello, I love you. Won’t you tell me your name?”

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

One2One is a cross-blog conversation. Find the answer at dawud miracle on Monday. You can see the entire One-2-One Conversation series on the Successful Series page.
In Case You Missed It: Writing 06-13-07

It’s the People

On my blog I finally took the time to think through what I believe. On my blog, people asked what I meant by what I said. On my blog that I dared to think and to dream — out loud and with commitment.

On my blog, my head and heart connected to the people I met.

The relationships I’ve made as a blogger have made me better as a marketer, a better writer, and a better human being. Here’s how and why.
I’m a better marketer.

As a blogger, I live with my readers. Every morning, I meet the folks who read my blog. I know by their response, or the lack of it, whether I’ve hit the mark. How could I be more intimate with my “customers”? As a publisher, I used to think I knew a thing about readers. I didn’t know anything compared to what I know now. Now I know what they are thinking. They tell me.

I’m a better writer.

As a blogger, I came down off the podium. I learned not to tie everything up with a bow. I quit lecturing and started listening. That’s when the real thinking and idea swapping started happening. Real people read what I wrote and added their own thoughts. When they did, I learned to write with my own voice, no self-consciousness. My relationship with words became my relationship with the people who read them.

I’m a better person.

As a blogger, it became about the conversation. How could listening to folks talking back and learning to talk in my real voice not lead to an improvement? Suddenly, it wasn’t about me. Suddenly, everyone was an opportunity to get to know one more incredible person who offered something to learn. The more I bring to the folks who come to read, the more they give me. My readers make me smarter, better every day.

How has my blog changed how I think of relationships? It’s only made them more dear, more important, and more cellular to every letter, every link, every learning that is in this text.

I can’t imagine looking at any part of my blogging career without seeing the people who in a word, have made me who I am.

The people of blogging have made me a better person.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

One2One is a cross-blog conversation. Find the answer at dawud miracle on Monday. You can see the entire One-2-One Conversation series on the Successful Series page.
In Case You Missed It: Writing 06-13-07

It’s Not About Thinking

Did you catch Dawud’s Monday installment in our ongoing conversation? He deftly answered What Do You Do When A Commenter Just Isn’t Hearing You? Dawud described a gracious way to respond and reminded us that we’re always talking to another person, not just words in a box. Then, he followed with a question for me — Liz, the relationship blogger.

How has your blog changed the way you think about relationships?

Ah Dawud, what a question.

The short answer is completely.

I Knew Everything about Relationships Until an Audience Came

I used to think I knew about relationships. They were an idea, involving people. I thought that relationships were a choice — take part or not. I thought they fell into neat categories like blog posts in my sidebar do — family I claim, family I don’t, friends of my heart, folks at work, folks I’ve known, . . . folks I’ve met — the fiends, the forgiven, the forgotten, and the forgettable.

I used to think I had a big heart, but obviously I was suffering from relationship myopia. It’s a common malady.

Then I got a blog.

I was already a writer. I made a blog place under a white oak on the riverbank. I prepared to write alone. A few friends would be listening — the friends of my heart. They were a handful at most. After all, how many folks want to know what I know, what I think, what I dream, what I remember, what stories I have to tell? That’s what I thought. That’s who I was.

I knew everything about relationships. I was a writer, a manager. I had been there.

Then an audience came, an audience who talked back to me.

I met a fine writer, who blogged the most marvelous stories of his past and present days. I met another who made sense of life in California . . . . and on a lonely Friday night I found someone who reveled in the glory of a weekend with a child, a poet who understood what I meant when we disagreed, and a science fiction artist/writer who virtually visited me when I wrote — I’m still inspired by them.

I met a brilliant scientist . . . moms who shared their families, an artist, a home builder, the small business guy, the crusader, the hero, the leader, the guy in charge. They didn’t fit in categories.

Someone said, “I never expected to care so much about these people who have become so dear to me.” I know exactly what she meant.

That audience, those readers, changed the way that I think and the way that I see.

I don’t think about relationships anymore. I see the people I have relationships with and the incredible differences they make. I see the changes we make in each other.

I got a blog. An audience came and changed everything. It’s still a wonder.
________________

Now a question back, Dawud.

Do you see a difference between your online relationships and those offline — beyond the obvious physical differences?

If you’re reading this, I’m not just asking Dawud the question, I’d love to hear your answer too, in the comment box below.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

One2One is a cross-blog conversation. Find the answer at dawud miracle on Monday. You can see the entire One-2-One Conversation series on the Successful Series page.
In Case You Missed It: Writing 06-13-07